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This Week's Newsletter:

Accepting Differences – Marriage Message #110

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“The old saying ‘opposites attract’ is often true. The difficulty is once they marry they drive each other crazy. Our opposites tend to fascinate us because they add variety to life and pull us from our comfortable rut of familiarity.

“Opposites stretch us beyond ourselves, forcing us to broaden our horizons. They add depth and provide opportunities for growth. It’s from them that we learn our most difficult lessons. They expose us to thoughts, feelings, and experiences that are foreign to us. They balance our lopsidedness and make us more complete.” (Dr Steve Stephens)

That concept sounds great, but can we truly embrace our differences? That’s our hope. That’s why, for the next 2 weeks, we’ll be sharing information written by Dr Steve Stephens that could potentially help us, which we’re gleaning from his book “Marriage: Experience the Best” (which unfortunately, is out of print). We’re hoping it will help us to better understand each other and grow closer together, despite our differences —approaching them in healthier ways.

In his book, Dr Stephens points out that:

“Differences are healthy but they’re also frustrating. The biggest frustrations come when we start thinking of opposites in terms of right and wrong. What that usually means is ‘I’m right, you’re wrong.’

“In working with people, I’ve discovered that most couples have little understanding and no tolerance for differences. They want each other to think and act as they do. They’re astonished that someone would actually approach life differently and think it was okay. So they begin a process of trying to convert their partner to the ‘right way’ or the ‘best way.’

“This is like trying to convince a Norwegian that Egyptian is the right language or someone who is Japanese that Spanish is best. It’s not an issue of right or best —just different. As couples, we need to acknowledge our differences and accept them.”

Dr Stephens challenges all of us to, “Look through the list [below] and try to find which differences apply to you and your mate:” [Read more →]

What romantic idea could you share to inspire spouses who need help?

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