What we tell people who are having any type of marriage problems, is to make it their mission to work on that area of their marriage. Be intentional in doing what it takes to work on the underlying cause of the problem.

Just as a doctor finds a patient’s medical problem and works to bring them to good health by whatever means necessary (which sometimes involves time, expense, pain, and methods that had not been used on that problem before), pray, examine and determine what areas of your relationship are unhealthy and do what it takes to make the necessary changes to make the necessary changes so your marriage becomes a healthy one. That’s what my husband and I did and that’s what we encourage others like yourself, to do as well.

Also, we DO have an article posted on our web site in the “Separation and Divorce” section in the “Testimonies” part of it, that features Clint and Penny Bragg who were divorced 11 years and got back together, are remarried, and now have a GREAT marriage and a ministry reaching out to those with marriage problems. The name of the article is “Second Chances: Clint and Penny Bragg.” They have a great new book out called “Marriage on the Mend: Tangible Tools to Restore Your Relationship” (which has a part of our testimony in it)… but the main reason I recommend it is because it gives you relationship tools to help you mend that which is broken. You can obtain the book, and/or contact them at Inverseministries.com. I recommend it. They know what it’s like to remarry each other and tackle the problems involved and know of other couples and ministries that might be able to help you as well.

I wish we could post more articles on this subject but we’re having a difficult time finding them. Possibly you know of some (or could even eventually write one yourself and allow us to post it to help those who visit this web site)… we’re sure open to finding articles such as you describe. I keep looking, but so far, most articles deal with divorce situations rather than those who are widowed, and if there’s anything dealing with it, it’s too brief and included in another article about divorce situations.

Please pray with us over this issue and if you find anything, please let us know. We’d appreciate it… and we appreciate you for pointing this out. I pray the Lord helps you and your husband build a good marriage together. I pray blessings in Christ upon your home and your marriage.

I have read Ron’s book and am currently going through a Step parenting class by the same author with my new husband. The problem is that most of the issues relating to the book and class are focused on divorce issues. We always thought before we were married that we would be fine because we didn’t have the previous spouse who passed away causing conflict in our lives but let me tell you even though the spouse is not physically present in our daily lives we have the issue of the ‘ghost’ of the previous spouse.

Any trained counselor will tell you that a loved one who passed away will over time become almost perfect in the eyes of their children and previous mate. This is an issue that divorce families do not deal with as the person is not there on a daily basis to ‘prove them wrong’ with the fact that they are not perfect and actually do/did have faults.

There are many issues that are the same regardless of divorce or death. As far as I know there are not any studies available for the remarried couple due to death of the first spouse. It may be touched upon in a remarriage book due to divorce but nothing strictly written for remarriage due to the death of a spouse. I view your comments made as no difference than that which are in the book or study group… remarriage happens because of divorce.

Please be aware that there are those out there who didn’t choose to end their first marriage with divorce but have lived on after the death of their mate. And even though the marriage ended on grounds that do not dishonor the covenant made before God and the spouse, there are issues in remarriage just the same and they need to be addressed also.

I should’ve known better, but I practically begged my former husband to reconcile. He wasn’t having it. I am still in love my former husband. We have three boys together that have to do the visitation thing between us. They say it makes them tired sometimes and they wish they could just stay in one place. They are very nice to my current husband, but it’s not dad.

I feel so bad because I want out of this marriage and I don’t know what to tell him. It will literally crush him. My husband is a very sensitive person. I don’t think he would be able to handle it. He has headaches and vomits when we have strong disagreements. His diabetes gets out of control because he won’t eat when I am upset with him. If I end the marriage and God forbid, he dies, I will carry that guilt with me for who knows how long. I admit that I didn’t trust God with dealing with loneliness. I had to do it my way and I’m still unhappy. God help me. I always get myself into these situations and then regret my decisions because I am so impatient. Thank you. I’m glad I came across this knowledge.

Fleeing problems wouldn’t change or develop us the way God wants. Marriage tests for patience, longsuffering, unconditional love, faith in God’s power, endurance, trust etc. So i encourage people to go on and see God’s power at work. Most successful couples have gone through and survived the same problems.

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another committeth adultery; and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery (Luke 16:18)

And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mark 10:11-12)

For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. (Romans 7:2-3)

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:39)

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32)

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Matthew 19:9)

Those who divorce their covenant spouses and remarry while that covenant spouse is alive is doing nothing but legalizing their adultery.

Those in adulterous marriages need to repent and give it up. (Repent means confess the sin and give up the sin.) The bible says that adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God, so it is imperative that people do not divorce, but honor their covenant vows.