(Author Unknown)
Discuss this list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful to him and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.
1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (Dave Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the negative if it’s necessary.)
17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or breakfast in bed, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that the wife thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
EMAIL | SHARE | PRINT
Print This Page (printer-friendly)
and do your online shopping. 
(NIGERIA) YOUR WORK IS QUITE HELPFUL. PLS KEEP IT UP. REMAIN BLESSED. WITHOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU MARRIAGE COULD BE IN A DEGRADABLE PROFILE.
(USA) I am getting married in March and we have a 50-50 relationship but use this as a referral list You can change it a little to be towards wifes and other relatives. Life is a learning experience and every little lesson helps.
(UNITED STATES) This is a bunch of crap!!! Us wives should be the ones who get our feet and backs rubbed!!! If my husband messes up I tell him. I don’t sugar coat it…he sure doesn’t. I don’t think that women should ever be expected to do the things on this list. I think that if you love someone it should come naturally. I think that if you are told to act a certain way or feel a certain way about someone…even if it is your husband….you are less likely to genuinely feel that way. Just something to think about ladies!!!
(UNITED STATES) You are SO wrong. You believe that making a man feel like a MAN takes away from your femininity and your power. You are an idiot. I make a six figure income and I make his lunch every morning and make his dinner at night. My husband adores me and always treat me with respect. You are selfish and have ill feelings towards your husband which is evident with your ” I don’t sugar coat it… he sure doesn’t” comment. I hope your marriage improves… and your attitude.
(UNITED STATES) You are right on!!
(USA) How’s your relationships so far? You can lie if you want but your only lying to yourself.
(USA) YOU ARE SO RIGHT!
(USA) I totally agree with you sister, she doesn’t understand men are like babies, they really need our affection and love. A woman is the one who sets the tone or gives the relationship direction. If we only knew our power, how we could change things in a respectful ways, our husbands would die for us, trust me.
(USA) U said it right on the head.
(USA) WOW!! Are you still married?
(CANADA) I agree. If you love someone then you will do things for each other equally. It is, however, great to have the list just to see if you actually do these things or run out of ideas.
(USA PROUDLY) Erin, while some might not agree with what you had said, primarily in the choice of words you had used, I do agree that marriage is based on making some compromises. Yes a wife should have her feet rubbed by her husband if her feet need some TLC. You shouldn’t sugar coat anything; honesty is always the best policy in all things but you don’t need to do it so brashly.
Take #93 ~ if you disagreed with your husband and you are blessed with children, do you argue in front of them? This list is not to tell you how to act with your husband it just gives you some tips and tricks that you might want to use that maybe you haven’t in a long time. Never take your spouse for granted.
(THAILAND) I feel sorry for your husband. Remember, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Your husband works hard and you should show him you appreciate it and respect him when he does something wrong, since no one is perfect.
(USA) Men need just as much attention as women! I personally feel good to make my husband’s life as easy I can. In return he does things for me, randomly, and he’s happy to do so. He rubs me, and I do so in return. They need to know how much they are appreciated as much as we as wives need to know how much we are appreciated. Why would your husband appreciate you, if you do nothing for him? Men don’t like to feel like they have to be the tough one all the time, the one who has to do things for you. He needs his time to relax, his time for appreciation, your marriage would be bitter without self respect for eachother and loving to do things for each other.
I think you misunderstood what these statements meant. These are lists for how men can make their wives feel loved and appreciated as well. They deserve just as much as we deserve. The only thing that changes us as people is our sex; men have just as much feelings as women. They may not show it, but they feel it. If you don’t show him love, he will find someone who does.
(UNITED STATES) My heart actually skipped a beat to read such words. I can’t believe that a person (be it woman or man) would have such things to say about their “Best friend”. Every marriage has its problems, it is important to keep focus on the things that matter (each other). I love my husband, that’s why I will always do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep our marriage and our love together. I appreciate the “reminders” that are offered in the 100 ways to love your husband. Sometimes even if we do genuinely feel a certain way, we often don’t show it, or maybe we think that we are. Please try to look at this a different way. I believe that you do want to help your marriage or you wouldn’t have been on this sight.
(USA) I agree, but maybe wives are coming to this site to get ideas because they do care and want to do something special for their husbands. Like me for example. I love my husband so much, but sometimes I don’t always know how to show it. Because I love him, there are things on this list, I wouldn’t mind trying. It’s not about being someone you are not, it’s about wanting to do some of these things because you love him and want to.
Of course, you shouldn’t do them if you don’t want to! It’s just giving examples of things a husband might like. You are right though- wives deserve very similar treatment! I wouldn’t mind a foot rub now and then without having to ask for it. I think that’s more of what this is suggesting. Sometimes, they might feel bad for asking… so sometimes it’s nice if the wife offers. I know usually when I do these kinds of things, my husband reciprocates and is more willing to do nice things for me. It’s good to talk about what you want too and to be yourself.
(USA) You sound like a very angry person. It’s not that the list is telling you how to act, it is suggesting different tactics to make your marriage stronger. You can use the list on wife–husband or even a family member. My future husband was in a marriage for 20 years for his kids. Sadly time took time and we learned and grew together. It’s not that you treat husbands/family member with gloves, you learn their end as well.
(USA) I was resonding to Erin. She sounds so angry and I think this list will help me to become more bonded with my future husband. As I said earlier, my future husband stayed married for his kids… so I want to learn and grow with him. As a matter a fact, I am going to print this and share it with him as it can be used for anyone, really.
(USA) I think you should try not to call it crap. Men need their feet rubbed as well. If you read what he said about women you would not say what you just said.
(UNITED STATES) Look, it’s not crap. I am 19 years old and I am getting married in May. My boyfriend is 18 and he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I am the best thing thats happened to him. We do everything together and we love it. Love is a wonderful thing… just respect your man and youll get the same in return. LOVE YOUR MAN LADIES…. have God by your side too.
(UNITED STATES) If love came naturally to all of us then God would have left out His command for us to love one another….
(USA) That’s why you’re having problems now.
(UNITED STATES) Wow – that last response is pretty strong, and defensive. Granted – there are some old school ideas about how women “should” act towards their husbands but these are just suggestions and I for one was happy to find them. I’ve been feeling so grateful for my husband. And of the two of us, I’M the one who has trouble showing affection and being ’soft’ so this list is a great way to help me work at getting in touch with that and letting him know just what he means to me.
And, in case you didn’t notice – there’s a list written for MEN as well…. This is a great list, thanks for sharing it!
(USA) This is right on!!!
(USA) I love reading this list. It helps me plan nice things for my husband. He deserves to be treated very well. I am a happy wife who feels appreciated. My husband shows me a lot of love and respect. So good luck ladies. I hope this list can help.
(AUSTRALIA) Erin from the United States, that is a very poor attitude towards these points. I came to this website because I was looking for ways to love and cherish my wife, or to at least show her, and then I saw this page.
As a man, this is EXACTLY what I’m looking for from my wife, and just as I am sure that the comments on the other page are pretty much what my wife is looking for. Granted, I do ALL of the cooking at home, so the comments about cooking and cleaning up afterwards for her don’t mean a thing in our relationship, but if I’d found this site before we fought recently, perhaps she’d still be living with me.
Erin, please don’t be so negative to these suggestions. If you are married, these are probably things that your husband would like to see. Especially the love notes in the pockets stuff from my perspective. Don’t do these things to receive them in return, but I can pretty much guarantee that if your husband DOES love you, it will pay off for you eventually. A loved husband is a loving husband.
This is just a suggestion list, sometimes, especially in the early years, we don’t know EXACTLY what our partners want. I’ve not been married 18 months and my marriage has fallen apart because I didn’t know how to treat my wife. A wife is a special part of your life, she’s not your mate, yet she is. She’s not your girlfriend, yet she is. She’s so much more than ANY other person in your life, and it can be hard, particularly having married so young, to know what to do. I love my wife, and pray daily that she will forgive me for not respecting her and her feelings. I wish she was here with me…
(USA) I love your comment. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I hope the best for your relationship. Always know, God has all control and he knows what’s best for us. Even when we don’t know ourselves. My God bless you and your wife.
(UNITED STATES) I’m sorry about you marriage. Maybe you could tell her how you feel, how sorry you are, and ask her to come back.
(SPAIN) It is rather sad that is is happening to you. I believe with time your wife will realise that you really care for her and she will come back to you.
(KENYA) Hi Marc, marriage can be confusing at first, then you figure out each other and how to go about it. I hope you gained from this website and hope that your wife did come back!!
(USA) Don’t disagree with him in front of your children. A lot of this I agree with, this I don’t. My children will know I have MY OWN opinion. Now however, if my husband had punished or told the kids no…I do not go against him.
Reading much of this, I see where I am lacking in the trying to be at my best.
The husband more than likely won’t read 100 ways on how to make your wife happy with how she is. But, the family needs a leader and the others will follow. Right?
My husband is not the best leader. He is very racial and very set in his ways. He has begun following me to church and has very much slacked up on his drinking (matter of fact he isn’t drinking anymore) ever since I took the reigns. I am leading when my husband really thinks he is.
We are far from perfect, but I think with my doing a few of these extras…we can certainly head that way.
(UNITED STATES) I agree with you that it is ok to disagree with our husbands in front of our children, but I also believe that any arguments should not be in front of our children.
(UK) I think the point of that comment is to be conscious of how you disagree with your husband in front of the kids. Children are very sensitive and as soon as they feel tension in the home they become very uneasy and tense themselves. Also be careful about what you disagree on. If it’s to do with the kids, they can use use it as ammunition to play you off against each other.
(US) I think these sugesstions are great. Being a newlywed, I find myself doing a lot of them anyway, but it’s nice to see them in print. I think because I am a little older and I have been married before, this (marriage) means so much more to me. It doesn’t hurt that my husband is a true southern gentleman and I really do want him to know that I love and respect him. Marriage in and of itself is a lot of work, but in my experience it seems that the little things really do make a difference. And effort has to be put forth consciously and consistantly, one day at a time. Thank you for these suggestions, I really do appreciate the time and effort to share.
(USA) The Website and resources look wonderful.
(AUSTRALIA) I think that these ideas are great… I’m not married yet but I will definitely be saving this list for when I am. I will also be giving my future husband the 100 ways you can love your wife!!!
You gotta please the men… if you do nice things for them and make them feel important they will treat you nice and show you respect. It doesn’t take much to make a man feel appreciated and this list is a great start.
(IRELAND) We are immigrants originally from Nigeria. I refer to your articles from time to time. It has helped me tremendously. I thank God for a site like this at a time when marriage is under the greatest attack. God bless you guys and enrich you graciously.