If you don’t want to love a man the way he wants to be loved, then do him a favor and don’t marry him. Love is about doing and giving to others, not about getting one’s own way. (See 1 Corinthians 13.) So if you resent loving your husband his way, then you are not really practicing love.

I sincerely pray that: 1. You know Christ in your life and he is the basis for your marriage 2. These are just guidelines, on what we can do to improve our marriages, advice freely given by friends,who seek God’s help to help others in this way of ministry, and I think there are a lot of people who have been blessed and helped 3. On my own behalf and for others who have found encouragement here, I would like to tell Cindy and Steve that I am very sorry on Sarah’s behalf, for her to say ’shame on you.’ You do a great job. Please let me have those writings back and may the Lord continue using you for his glory in marriages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A very close friend of mine, with whom I share my disappointments and frustrations, usually helps me to be more open to the good that my husband does!!! I guess, yes, being humble but also recognizing limits and asking in a kind way is important. Marriage is a constant … you have to keep working on it I guess. God Bless… and Thank you Steve and Cindy. I treasure your emails with marriage messages!!! May God continue to Bless you both!!!

You see good happy marriages are based on mutual respect not a submissive control over another human being. You have to allow your partner to be themselves and not someone to cater to your needs. Marriage needs space and freedom (trust of course). I feel sorry for the woman who is treated like the family dog with no life outside her husbands…give me a break. Weak women fall into this and those are the women I end up treating and the children who get hurt and witness the humiliation. If a man is threatened by a strong woman that is his problem. No need to get caught up in his insecurities. Find a man who will appreciate your uniqueness and praise you for the wonderful lady you are.

Of course, you shouldn’t do them if you don’t want to! It’s just giving examples of things a husband might like. You are right though- wives deserve very similar treatment! I wouldn’t mind a foot rub now and then without having to ask for it. I think that’s more of what this is suggesting. Sometimes, they might feel bad for asking… so sometimes it’s nice if the wife offers. I know usually when I do these kinds of things, my husband reciprocates and is more willing to do nice things for me. It’s good to talk about what you want too and to be yourself.

Even if her husband does her wrong, a godly wife knows better than to fight fire with fire. Her battles are on her knees. She obeys God and He helps her.