It was a beautiful wedding—almost perfect. With gorgeous weather, an attractively decorated church, and heavenly music, the ceremony flowed smoothly. Megan, the bride, turned to her mother, and beamed, “Mom, wasn’t it just wonderful?” And Mom agreed.
But as the weeks and months passed by, Megan began to realize that while her wedding was perfect, her marriage wasn’t! In fact, she wondered why she and Michael hadn’t seen some of their problems coming long before they decided to marry.
I’m always interested in how married people respond to the question, “How long after you married did you realize that you were going to have serious problems?” To my surprise many say, “On our wedding day!” I remember Keri, a woman in her thirties, saying,
“As I was walking down the aisle, I realized we shouldn’t be getting married. I knew I wasn’t ready and I kept praying to God that when the pastor asked if there was anyone who had an objection, someone would stand up and say so. But no one did. So I went through with it, hoping things would get better. But they didn’t. They became worse! Finally we divorced.”
When I asked Keith how long it took after the wedding to understand that he and his wife were in for some difficult days, he told me it was on the second day of their honeymoon.
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(USA) Hello. I dated my fiancee for 18 months before she accepted my marriage proposal. She broke it off after 5 months, and then we attempted to re-establish and resolve our problems for over a year. During our last attempt to save our relationship she became very ill, and met a man. 48 hours later he proposed, and they were married. They met, dated, discerned, and married in less than 60 days. She has three children.
What is your opinion on this sudden turn of events? I find it reckless and dangerous for her and her children. How long should someone wait before marrying after a very serious, and deeply committed relationship?
(UK) I believe there is no timeline to “waiting for marriage”, Godly counsel is the best… Christian relationaships should not be dragged on for too long because that could cause the parties to fall, however, it should not be rushed either. I would say at least 6 months-12 months.