Comments on: A Shipwrecked Promise of Love http://www.marriagemissions.com a Christian Marriage Website Mon, 22 Mar 2010 05:56:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Cathy http://www.marriagemissions.com/a-shipwrecked-promise-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-2774 Cathy Fri, 20 Feb 2009 07:43:22 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/a-shipwrecked-promise-of-love/#comment-2774 (USA)  I tried everything to get my husband's attention. I used to joke and say that he wouldn't even know that I was dead until he smelled the body. But telling sick jokes, running away, frivolous spending, screaming, yelling, begging for him to talk to me, walk with me, be with me... didn't work. His coldness, lack of emotion, his separate-ness from me, I presumed was a way to punish me... for being... for doing... for needing what he didn't want to give. 23 years of this... I never felt cherished... maybe the first year... he was always too tired for physical intimacy. Wow, what a blow to my ego! Emotional devastation. When I accidentally found his porn stash... I blamed myself... and he let me take the blame... he didn't say, "it's not your problem, it's mine". I just wanted him to notice me... to be my partner in life. (USA)  I tried everything to get my husband’s attention. I used to joke and say that he wouldn’t even know that I was dead until he smelled the body. But telling sick jokes, running away, frivolous spending, screaming, yelling, begging for him to talk to me, walk with me, be with me… didn’t work. His coldness, lack of emotion, his separate-ness from me, I presumed was a way to punish me… for being… for doing… for needing what he didn’t want to give. 23 years of this… I never felt cherished… maybe the first year… he was always too tired for physical intimacy.

Wow, what a blow to my ego! Emotional devastation. When I accidentally found his porn stash… I blamed myself… and he let me take the blame… he didn’t say, "it’s not your problem, it’s mine". I just wanted him to notice me… to be my partner in life.

]]> By: Rose http://www.marriagemissions.com/a-shipwrecked-promise-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-2244 Rose Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:58:51 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/a-shipwrecked-promise-of-love/#comment-2244 (SOUTH AFRICA)  To David, I can associate with your circumstances but in my case, I am the wife that prays everyday for God to help me soften my heart. My husband and I have been separated for two months now and I am waiting for him to show me some kind of remorse or the slightest acknowledgment that he has done wrong. For the last three years he has been in and out of affairs with other women and I have built a wall of protection around my heart. He manages to justify his behavior every time and although I acknowledge that our marriage problems are something we BOTH need to work at, I will take no responsibility for him going outside the marriage and having affairs. I guess what I am looking for, is for my husband to acknowledge the mistakes he has made and tell me truthfully and convincingly that he will never let it happen again. I need to be able to trust him again and that will only come with time and hard work on his part. I do love him but have been hurt so often that I am finding it difficult to break this wall around my heart down. I guess my concerns are that as he justifies everything he does I wonder if " I " will ever be doing enough to keep my husband from other women. What part does he have in all this? (SOUTH AFRICA)  To David, I can associate with your circumstances but in my case, I am the wife that prays everyday for God to help me soften my heart. My husband and I have been separated for two months now and I am waiting for him to show me some kind of remorse or the slightest acknowledgment that he has done wrong.

For the last three years he has been in and out of affairs with other women and I have built a wall of protection around my heart. He manages to justify his behavior every time and although I acknowledge that our marriage problems are something we BOTH need to work at, I will take no responsibility for him going outside the marriage and having affairs.

I guess what I am looking for, is for my husband to acknowledge the mistakes he has made and tell me truthfully and convincingly that he will never let it happen again. I need to be able to trust him again and that will only come with time and hard work on his part.

I do love him but have been hurt so often that I am finding it difficult to break this wall around my heart down. I guess my concerns are that as he justifies everything he does I wonder if " I " will ever be doing enough to keep my husband from other women. What part does he have in all this?

]]> By: David http://www.marriagemissions.com/a-shipwrecked-promise-of-love/comment-page-1/#comment-2239 David Thu, 20 Nov 2008 04:28:12 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/a-shipwrecked-promise-of-love/#comment-2239 (UNITED STATES)  I have been everywhere looking for something that would soften my wife's heart. I spend hours each evening after work looking for something that will soften her heart and mine, too, so that both of our hearts can be open. My wife and I are separated, and she seems committed to divorce. I do not want a divorce. I have done things wrong, and I want to make amends to her and to our children. I cannot express to anyone how deep my sorrow is for the hurt I caused, nor can I express strongly enough how deep my pain is for the hurt I caused. I love my family dearly, and we have drifted apart. She is living nearly a thousand miles away from me now, with our children, and appears not to want to come back. I love my family and my pain over their loss is unbelievable. We have been apart for nearly a year. I would like very much to work it out with her. (UNITED STATES)  I have been everywhere looking for something that would soften my wife’s heart. I spend hours each evening after work looking for something that will soften her heart and mine, too, so that both of our hearts can be open. My wife and I are separated, and she seems committed to divorce. I do not want a divorce. I have done things wrong, and I want to make amends to her and to our children. I cannot express to anyone how deep my sorrow is for the hurt I caused, nor can I express strongly enough how deep my pain is for the hurt I caused.

I love my family dearly, and we have drifted apart. She is living nearly a thousand miles away from me now, with our children, and appears not to want to come back. I love my family and my pain over their loss is unbelievable. We have been apart for nearly a year. I would like very much to work it out with her.

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