Letters from Children of Divorce:

“25 years ago when I was 14, my parents divorced. My younger brother is now dead from a heroin overdose, after all the pain my mother caused by leaving us, for her boyfriend. My mother is old, retired, and alone and now needs my help. I am using this opportunity, to stay away from her, to return the favor for all the pain and torment.” –Annie

“Do parents even comprehend the massive, unfathomable amount of pain, suffering, agony and devastation that their selfish divorces, adulterous affairs & remarriages cause? Do they?” –James

“I will never accept that parents are just human and make “mistakes,” divorce is not a mistake, it is a sin. They say it’s not good to stay in a bad marriage, get a life, marriage is not about being happy. Divorce is wrong, family-destroying and evil.” –Brett

“I don’t think parents even care about how this affects their children because my own mom chose her boyfriend over my dad and my brothers and I. We suffered tremendously and now because of my mom’s example, both of my grandparents are divorced and most of my aunts and uncles are in the middle of their own divorces. This is out of control, when will it stop?” –John

“When my father left the family no one said anything to him. No members of his church stood up to confront him. My family now lies in ruins.

Studies on children of divorce show much higher rates of suicide, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, mental illness, criminality, teenage pregnancy, abortion, school failure, social withdrawal, joblessness, poverty, etc. Divorce is a crime against humanity! To the enablers of divorce; judges, lawyers, co-workers, friends, and relatives please kill yourselves.

Anyone who tries to rationalize their divorce is insane. They are lying and self-centered. Children are destroyed after a divorce. As a degenerate, decadent society, we no longer punish, ostracize, or even criticize people who divorce!

By allowing people to divorce, kid’s lives are ruined. Do not buy into all the disgusting “tolerance” business, universities, schools, and even churches shove down your throats. Don’t tolerate it, don’t accept it, divorce needs to be against the law. Divorce is one of the greatest unpunished crimes of our age. –Justin

“Look at the legalized adultery we call divorce. Men marry one wife after another and are still admitted into good society; and women do likewise. There are thousands of supposedly respectable men in American living with other men’s wives, and thousands of supposedly respectable women living with other women’s husbands.” –R. A. Torrey

R.A. Torrey (1856-1928)
Pastor and graduate of Yale University
Superintendent of Moody Bible Institute for 19 years

“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes.” 1 Corinthians 7:39

http://www.cadz.net/tony.html

My parents were divorced in the early 70’s, when I was 3, and it has had a major effect on the past 35 years of my life. The “therapy” and “everyone worrying about it” that she mentions in the first paragraph are oversimplified generalizations and convenient assumptions. I was eventually threatened with punishment when I expressed my unhappiness too much at ages 3 and 4. There was certainly no one being paid to listen to my anguish and help me work through incredible confusion and loss. I wonder if Brooke’s parents ever told her they would give her something to cry about when she expressed her unhappiness to her parents as an adult? I was expected to “shrug it off” myself – at age 3, no less.

The only “therapy” I received was during incarceration as a teenager. I’m sorry, but I have been dealing with the pain on my own since forever – and being a child when your parents get divorced means you have much fewer internal emotional resources than a grown person. It also means that you develop your view of life, relationships and the world from a perspective of massive pain, loneliness and profound uncertainty . . . at least in my case.

The loss of my family has colored every choice, opportunity, memory and relationship I have ever had and imbued my relationships with an innate fear of intimacy and an anxiety about seperation, all at the same time. My entire life has felt like a mixed message. I was essentially raised by day care centers and schools, because my single parent had to work constantly to support us.

Most of my friends and family can’t understand why I am not happier and more successful. They don’t understand the energy and focus it requires every frickin’ day, just to overcome a mistrust of LIFE that they have a hard time even conceptualizing. Needless to say, it’s been very alienating and lonely for me.

Nonetheless, I am determined to somehow make something of what truly feels like an undermined, disaster of a life . . .

Brooke, your envy is very much misplaced. I wish I had never been through a divorce at all – but I can’t imagine having had some memories of a family and a stable home would have hurt . . .