I know he doesn’t have pornography in the house, but I don’t know who or what he is thinking about while denying me. My heart hurts so bad I want to die. I am not able to make a living by myself or I’d tell him to leave. I feel so trapped and know that the rest of my life will be spent with pain and hurt. I pray and cry constantly for God to help me.

Yes, no man is so strong that he can not benefit from a healthy dose of caution in these matters. The evil one is constantly on the look out for such occassions to create scandal knowing this will harm person and faith. For me, it took 8 years and an angel (who became my wife last year) to bring me back to full communion with catholic church to which I belong.

Please keep this mission going. It is far far more important than you can ever imagine. The addiction of choice which you refer to, is indeed a horrible cancer. We have a right to chose to use condoms because it is better than hiv spreading, to excuse abortion because the pregnant is a child or victim of a rape, to allow divorce because the world is indifferent, to legalize homosexual marriages because it is xenophobic to disallow it, to fund embryonic stem cell research because it has the potential to cure cancer etc etc. The devil continues to point to the apple of censure as the route to life… and too many of us fall headlong into it. If you can keep me, and people like me from such foolish acts in exercise of a false freedom, you would be doing a great great work. God bless you dearly.

To the wives and husbands hurting because of unfaithfulness, or divorce: only God can grant them the wisdom to make the right choices, and the peace to go thru these difficult times. I hope they will get wise counselors who will guide them thru these circumstances. Thanks, God bless you

Although Steve was addressing the men, when he spoke about making a choice to ‘flee from sexual immorality’, I found myself in a situation where I had to make a personal commitment to run away from tempting situations which surrounded me in my daily activities and work. I confided in my prayer partner (who is also my sister in law and sister in Christ) and we prayed about it regularly. I found it very embarrassing to tell my pastor that I was struggling with impure thoughts, but I guess the Holy Spirit gave him an idea what to pray about concerning me. So Jan, I sincerely pray that God will bring people in your life who are willing to pray with you through this one. The battle is easier when you are accountable to someone else.

Thanks Steve & Cindy, your website has been a great source of inspiration and encouragement to me. Be blessed!

I encourage you to check out the article “When the Husband Has a Low Sex Drive” posted in the Sexual Issues section. I pray you find help for your marriage relationship as you pray through and read the article as well as the linked articles that are also included. No matter what, I pray you will guard your heart and won’t allow your husbands unresponsiveness, to be a green light to lower your guard, thus, lowering your Christian standards. God will bless you in other ways for your sufferings. I’ve seen this time and again.

I’m an almost 47-year old woman, married 17 years, 3 kids (6 to 12), and at the moment we are living in a bungalow while building a house, so there is really no privacy. I hope you will be addressing wives of husbands who don’t seem interested in physical intimacy because that’s what I’m dealing with, so ultimately I have continual mind issues. I appreciate therefore what Steve said about making choices to not put vile things in front of our eyes, and to put to death sexual immorality and lust, etc. I pray constantly to have a pure thought life, but it’s not easy!

There are several factors that keep us from being intimate more than once a month, maybe – tiredness, lack of privacy, physical discomfort – and it’s all on my husband’s side, and I can get frustrated with this lack of intimacy and can take it personally. It gets to the point that I won’t go to bed until he’s asleep so I won’t get rejected and disappointed.
I guess I need some encouragement and ideas on how to discuss this with my husband, how to voice my concern and needs, without making him feel threatened, and what to do on my part to stay pure. Thanks and God bless.

The only thing you did wrong you say was to move in together – Oh Boy!! Sorry to say, but you Knew he was married at the time and should have sent him straight back to live with his wife. This was a very big mistake and I am sorry but you are very much partly to blame for his divorce. You say you both joined a church and were encouraged to do "what was right" What advice did the church give you and did you embrace it? You now say you are expecting his baby and still have to get married.

I am sorry if I am coming across too strongly but I am hurting so badly at the moment because of the consequences such as the above. My heart bleeds for his ex-wife. I know what she must be going through.

I am not here to judge but I fear for you. What you both did was wrong in Gods eyes. The only way you can make right is to repent. He needs to go back to his wife and you need to draw on Gods love, strength and forgiveness and move on. You are God’s child and he loves you. What he did to his first wife is a strong indication as to what he is likely to do to you.

Thank you for your honesty. Maybe I am not thinking clearly because I am hurting so much at the moment. I would love a reply from you and will endeavor to understand from "the other woman’s" point of view.

Remember when you take your marriage vows you will have to hear the words "those that are joined together before God LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER."

We connected to a church where nobody judged us but only tried to encourage us to do what was right. We have been on the ‘road’ again striving to serve God and because we want to do what is right, will be getting married now. We are expecting a baby and we are so very very happy. We want to make right what we doing wrong so we refuse to live together while not being married. We have also been attending marital counseling for a few months now. PLEASE GIVE YOUR HONEST INPUT OR ANY QUESTIONS & I WILL REPLY WITH AN OPEN MIND.