Comments on: Be Careful: Your Husband Will Seek Affirmation Somewhere http://www.marriagemissions.com/be-careful-your-husband-will-seek-affirmation-somewhere/ a Christian Marriage Website Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:11:26 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.3 hourly 1 By: Lo http://www.marriagemissions.com/be-careful-your-husband-will-seek-affirmation-somewhere/comment-page-1/#comment-5121 Lo Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:37:33 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/the-importance-of-affirming-your-husband/#comment-5121 (USA)  Hi Janet, Unfortunately, the current world will never be fair because of the presence of the devil working through the people we love. But there is a promise for a stress-free everlasting life through the blood of Jesus Christ. We wouldn't be happy without that hope because the world is a mess full of adulterers, selfish people etc. But we can live our lives right now with a better understanding of what is to come, bearing in mind that all the problems we have are temporary and God can see everything from above. Our justification comes from him alone. So let us prepare ourselves for the future by our contact regardless of the hardships we face or how others treat us "do everything as unto the Lord". Even if your husband is cold to you or unappreciative, you know God has your reward. So God is your affirmer. If you please God, its all good for you now and forever. We are the light of the world. It may not make sense to be good to those who wrong us but we should remember that God loved us and still does despite our many sins. Don't repay evil with evil for you will miss out on the wonderful promises to come. Save yourself more pain by establishing a good relationship with God. Your husband may fail you but the Lord never will. All you do should, therefore, be a dedication to God. You have done very well for your family so far. (USA)  Hi Janet, Unfortunately, the current world will never be fair because of the presence of the devil working through the people we love. But there is a promise for a stress-free everlasting life through the blood of Jesus Christ. We wouldn’t be happy without that hope because the world is a mess full of adulterers, selfish people etc.

But we can live our lives right now with a better understanding of what is to come, bearing in mind that all the problems we have are temporary and God can see everything from above. Our justification comes from him alone. So let us prepare ourselves for the future by our contact regardless of the hardships we face or how others treat us “do everything as unto the Lord”. Even if your husband is cold to you or unappreciative, you know God has your reward. So God is your affirmer. If you please God, its all good for you now and forever.

We are the light of the world. It may not make sense to be good to those who wrong us but we should remember that God loved us and still does despite our many sins. Don’t repay evil with evil for you will miss out on the wonderful promises to come.

Save yourself more pain by establishing a good relationship with God. Your husband may fail you but the Lord never will. All you do should, therefore, be a dedication to God. You have done very well for your family so far.

]]> By: Janet http://www.marriagemissions.com/be-careful-your-husband-will-seek-affirmation-somewhere/comment-page-1/#comment-5117 Janet Fri, 09 Oct 2009 10:51:32 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/the-importance-of-affirming-your-husband/#comment-5117 (KENYA) Affirm him? Who affirms me? I wake up every morning, juggle 3 babies aged 1, 3 and 5, make sure one goes to school and the others are taken care of by 2 maids whose salaries I pay and I go to work till 6 pm every day. I got this job this year in April after having been retrenched in January when I was on maternity leave. Before I got this job, I was at home and found a business idea which when I prenseted it to him. I was told I cannot work but in the last 2 months that Idea has generated roughly 30% of what I am making at my full time job. In February this year, My son had to go for a heart operation in India and my husband refused to go saying that I would have to go. I did because it was my child I was looking out for. This year, I have not had my husband say Janet, well done, you have done well or even give me a hug for what I have gone through. He has cheated on me when I was pregnant, and He is flirting with another now> How come I haven't gotten out of my house to look for someone to affirm me? (KENYA) Affirm him? Who affirms me? I wake up every morning, juggle 3 babies aged 1, 3 and 5, make sure one goes to school and the others are taken care of by 2 maids whose salaries I pay and I go to work till 6 pm every day. I got this job this year in April after having been retrenched in January when I was on maternity leave. Before I got this job, I was at home and found a business idea which when I prenseted it to him. I was told I cannot work but in the last 2 months that Idea has generated roughly 30% of what I am making at my full time job. In February this year, My son had to go for a heart operation in India and my husband refused to go saying that I would have to go. I did because it was my child I was looking out for. This year, I have not had my husband say Janet, well done, you have done well or even give me a hug for what I have gone through.

He has cheated on me when I was pregnant, and He is flirting with another now> How come I haven’t gotten out of my house to look for someone to affirm me?

]]> By: Tony http://www.marriagemissions.com/be-careful-your-husband-will-seek-affirmation-somewhere/comment-page-1/#comment-5111 Tony Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:37:40 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/the-importance-of-affirming-your-husband/#comment-5111 (USA) PJ, sure you do. For every man having an affair, there is a woman right there with him. Women cheat, and in numbers likely equal to men. Unless of course, you are saying men are having affairs with other men. These women are looking for many of the same things men are, which is that affirmation. So don't buy the lie that men are more morally corrupt than women. Cheating is not a gender trait, it's a character issue. Folks with bad character are equally represented in both genders. Scripture says we are ALL sinners, and ALL fall short of the glory of God. Just ask me, I was a betrayed husband. My ex-wife cheated and divorced and now is largely alone. It's not just men who do this. Women are in on the act too. (USA) PJ, sure you do. For every man having an affair, there is a woman right there with him. Women cheat, and in numbers likely equal to men. Unless of course, you are saying men are having affairs with other men. These women are looking for many of the same things men are, which is that affirmation.

So don’t buy the lie that men are more morally corrupt than women. Cheating is not a gender trait, it’s a character issue. Folks with bad character are equally represented in both genders. Scripture says we are ALL sinners, and ALL fall short of the glory of God.

Just ask me, I was a betrayed husband. My ex-wife cheated and divorced and now is largely alone. It’s not just men who do this. Women are in on the act too.

]]> By: PJ http://www.marriagemissions.com/be-careful-your-husband-will-seek-affirmation-somewhere/comment-page-1/#comment-5108 PJ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 01:08:04 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/the-importance-of-affirming-your-husband/#comment-5108 (USA)  I can see this point of view. However, why is it ALWAYS about men not feeling appreciated and going elsewhere when women are forever and a day juggling work, kids, home and husband day in and out... often without feeling appreciated. You don't see women running down Joe, Don, and John over it... (USA)  I can see this point of view. However, why is it ALWAYS about men not feeling appreciated and going elsewhere when women are forever and a day juggling work, kids, home and husband day in and out… often without feeling appreciated. You don’t see women running down Joe, Don, and John over it…

]]> By: Debbie http://www.marriagemissions.com/be-careful-your-husband-will-seek-affirmation-somewhere/comment-page-1/#comment-4183 Debbie Wed, 08 Jul 2009 21:45:45 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/the-importance-of-affirming-your-husband/#comment-4183 (USA)  This is so true! We have been married just under 2 yrs now. I thought our life was good, but for him, it wasn't. 18 months ago, when we were having issues with his son, he started reaching out to other women, not one, not two, but many, primarily via the internet. All seemingly innocent conversations, but understandably, it was very upsetting to me. It has taken us a year to get to this point, where his need for affirmation has been nailed down as to why he does this. He is now in counseling and I am learning that I need to be verbal in my praise of him. We are opposites. I crave someone to do things for me; he craves verbal attention. We are now rebuilding our relationship, including my trust in him. With the knowledge that his needs must be met, we stand a chance. To anyone else in this boat, take heart. Know that if you meet his needs for affirmation, your marriage will thrive! It is not a sign of weakness to give affirmation, it is a symbol of your love for him. (USA)  This is so true! We have been married just under 2 yrs now. I thought our life was good, but for him, it wasn’t. 18 months ago, when we were having issues with his son, he started reaching out to other women, not one, not two, but many, primarily via the internet. All seemingly innocent conversations, but understandably, it was very upsetting to me.

It has taken us a year to get to this point, where his need for affirmation has been nailed down as to why he does this. He is now in counseling and I am learning that I need to be verbal in my praise of him. We are opposites. I crave someone to do things for me; he craves verbal attention. We are now rebuilding our relationship, including my trust in him. With the knowledge that his needs must be met, we stand a chance.

To anyone else in this boat, take heart. Know that if you meet his needs for affirmation, your marriage will thrive! It is not a sign of weakness to give affirmation, it is a symbol of your love for him.

]]> By: Laine http://www.marriagemissions.com/be-careful-your-husband-will-seek-affirmation-somewhere/comment-page-1/#comment-3764 Laine Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:52:44 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/the-importance-of-affirming-your-husband/#comment-3764 (USA) I read the first part of this article... and oh how it hit home: An ex girlfriend of my husband has contacted him a year ago on his birthday via email and contacted him again this past month. I found a note that he was typing on the internet the morning after. It had to do with some advice that she wanted about some married couple that they both knew and of course when I found it I was just blown away! When confronting my husband, he was not happy I came upon it and goes on to tell me that it is not anything at all and it was only the second time. The first was a happy birthday and this is all taking place 10 years after he broke up with her... I have been sick over it and it showed for about 2 and half weeks. What I read about in this article is certainly hitting home. I will never know whether or not it has ended and matter of fact very upset with me that it effected me the way it did. But I plan on buying the book and reading further. (USA) I read the first part of this article… and oh how it hit home: An ex girlfriend of my husband has contacted him a year ago on his birthday via email and contacted him again this past month. I found a note that he was typing on the internet the morning after. It had to do with some advice that she wanted about some married couple that they both knew and of course when I found it I was just blown away!

When confronting my husband, he was not happy I came upon it and goes on to tell me that it is not anything at all and it was only the second time. The first was a happy birthday and this is all taking place 10 years after he broke up with her… I have been sick over it and it showed for about 2 and half weeks. What I read about in this article is certainly hitting home. I will never know whether or not it has ended and matter of fact very upset with me that it effected me the way it did. But I plan on buying the book and reading further.

]]> By: Mase http://www.marriagemissions.com/be-careful-your-husband-will-seek-affirmation-somewhere/comment-page-1/#comment-3133 Mase Wed, 18 Mar 2009 11:58:23 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/the-importance-of-affirming-your-husband/#comment-3133 (SOUTH AFRICA)  I am so rudely awakened because of the blatant truth from this article. I always felt like my husband does not have enough time for me and puts more priority on work, sports and his cellphone. I have experienced the joy of his reaction when I affirm and the negativity when I nag. I can just say I am challenged by this article. I thank you for a most wonderful website. I have gone through various challenges in my life (including my marriage) and have found so much comfort and answers from this website. May God bless you. (SOUTH AFRICA)  I am so rudely awakened because of the blatant truth from this article. I always felt like my husband does not have enough time for me and puts more priority on work, sports and his cellphone. I have experienced the joy of his reaction when I affirm and the negativity when I nag. I can just say I am challenged by this article. I thank you for a most wonderful website. I have gone through various challenges in my life (including my marriage) and have found so much comfort and answers from this website. May God bless you.

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