Comments on: Called To Encourage Your Husband http://www.marriagemissions.com/called-to-encourage-your-husband/ a Christian Marriage Website Fri, 19 Mar 2010 11:05:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Mathetes http://www.marriagemissions.com/called-to-encourage-your-husband/comment-page-1/#comment-6542 Mathetes Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:21:15 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/called-to-encourage-your-husband/#comment-6542 (USA)  Tendai, I think it really depends on the culture and the particular pair of individuals. In America, it is a mixed bag, but our culture is highly individualized -everything is about personal fulfillment. You have men who act like little boys, who can't commit to their woman, are totally focused upon their wants, their toys, and living like they are still single. They act like babies. But there are also lots of women who act the same way to their men. They emasculate men and run them over to get what they want. They are certainly *not* taught to submit to and please their husbands -they are taught to go after their own personal happiness. Within the church, I've seen religious extremes of this as well. I've seen men who over-stress how their wives are supposed to submit to them (and sometimes their abuse) and be the backbone of the home and homeschool all of their 400 children. And I've seen women who have extremely high expectations for their husbands -expectations that no mere human can meet. I think the main point is that we should be looking for ways to love the other, not for ways to demand that others comply with our "needs." We should be primarily concerned with how we can love more and need less, not how our partner should be loving us more. In other words, we should be less obsessed with getting some kind of elusive "balance" in the relationship. This doesn't mean we become doormats -God's love for us is imbalanced -He loves and pursues us far more than we do Him, and yet He is not our doormat. Jesus shows us that real love doesn't sit and wait for there to be balance and total reciprocation. So, though it might be unpopular to say, but I don't think love really asks the question (or makes the demand), "Hey, what about them?! Who is going to tell them that they need to meet my needs?!" Yes, I am a man, but I have often felt the way you do toward women and my wife. What I'm saying to you is what I'm learning for myself. (USA)  Tendai, I think it really depends on the culture and the particular pair of individuals. In America, it is a mixed bag, but our culture is highly individualized -everything is about personal fulfillment. You have men who act like little boys, who can’t commit to their woman, are totally focused upon their wants, their toys, and living like they are still single. They act like babies. But there are also lots of women who act the same way to their men. They emasculate men and run them over to get what they want. They are certainly *not* taught to submit to and please their husbands -they are taught to go after their own personal happiness.

Within the church, I’ve seen religious extremes of this as well. I’ve seen men who over-stress how their wives are supposed to submit to them (and sometimes their abuse) and be the backbone of the home and homeschool all of their 400 children. And I’ve seen women who have extremely high expectations for their husbands -expectations that no mere human can meet.

I think the main point is that we should be looking for ways to love the other, not for ways to demand that others comply with our “needs.” We should be primarily concerned with how we can love more and need less, not how our partner should be loving us more. In other words, we should be less obsessed with getting some kind of elusive “balance” in the relationship. This doesn’t mean we become doormats -God’s love for us is imbalanced -He loves and pursues us far more than we do Him, and yet He is not our doormat. Jesus shows us that real love doesn’t sit and wait for there to be balance and total reciprocation.

So, though it might be unpopular to say, but I don’t think love really asks the question (or makes the demand), “Hey, what about them?! Who is going to tell them that they need to meet my needs?!”

Yes, I am a man, but I have often felt the way you do toward women and my wife. What I’m saying to you is what I’m learning for myself.

]]> By: Bukola http://www.marriagemissions.com/called-to-encourage-your-husband/comment-page-1/#comment-6539 Bukola Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:55:54 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/called-to-encourage-your-husband/#comment-6539 (NIGERIA)  This is really quite good and in a way educating. Although my husband encourages me more than I do, if ireally want to be honest here. His belief is whether a woman is submissive or not, Christ has commanded a husband to love his wife and submission is not a condition for loving a woman. I am also of the opinion that as women, God has endowed us so richly to be able to be whatever our husband(s) may demand from us; be it a wife, sister, friend, mother, lover, confidant, adviser etc. It is not about what we need as women but how we can add value to the lives of our men. Of course, our needs are also very important but the Bible tells us to prefer one another in love. Let us recommend this site to our husbands so that they may also read articles on how to be more sensitive to our needs and encourage us more in order to bring out the best in us. (NIGERIA)  This is really quite good and in a way educating. Although my husband encourages me more than I do, if ireally want to be honest here. His belief is whether a woman is submissive or not, Christ has commanded a husband to love his wife and submission is not a condition for loving a woman.

I am also of the opinion that as women, God has endowed us so richly to be able to be whatever our husband(s) may demand from us; be it a wife, sister, friend, mother, lover, confidant, adviser etc. It is not about what we need as women but how we can add value to the lives of our men. Of course, our needs are also very important but the Bible tells us to prefer one another in love. Let us recommend this site to our husbands so that they may also read articles on how to be more sensitive to our needs and encourage us more in order to bring out the best in us.

]]> By: Tendai http://www.marriagemissions.com/called-to-encourage-your-husband/comment-page-1/#comment-6174 Tendai Tue, 26 Jan 2010 11:16:27 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/called-to-encourage-your-husband/#comment-6174 (ZIMBABWE)  Women are taught how to be submissive, please their men, etc. It's all good but I am yet to hear of when men are taught to be good husbands and how to make their wives happy. Women go out of their way to please men but very few men do the same. Biblically, a man is instructed to love his wife the way Christ loved the church. Lets not forget that. (ZIMBABWE)  Women are taught how to be submissive, please their men, etc. It’s all good but I am yet to hear of when men are taught to be good husbands and how to make their wives happy. Women go out of their way to please men but very few men do the same. Biblically, a man is instructed to love his wife the way Christ loved the church. Lets not forget that.

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.marriagemissions.com/called-to-encourage-your-husband/comment-page-1/#comment-3629 Elizabeth Mon, 18 May 2009 14:45:52 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/called-to-encourage-your-husband/#comment-3629 (USA)  This all sounds great and makes a lot of sense. However, what about the woman? Everything I've been reading always talks about the man and how he needs this or that...what about the woman, doesn't she need the same? The woman is supposed to be the weaker vessel but what I've been reading makes the man sound like he's the weak link. (USA)  This all sounds great and makes a lot of sense. However, what about the woman? Everything I’ve been reading always talks about the man and how he needs this or that…what about the woman, doesn’t she need the same? The woman is supposed to be the weaker vessel but what I’ve been reading makes the man sound like he’s the weak link.

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