We were told of one man who took the woman he wanted to marry to a romantic dinner and then took her to their church afterward. He then asked her to go into the restroom to take off her nylon stockings. She questioned him about his request, thinking it was a bit strange. But he asked her just to trust him and he would explain his request later.

She did what he asked and afterward was led into the church sanctuary. He then took her over to an area that had a spotlight shining over it. There he provided a chair for her to sit on, brought out a basin of water (that he had prepared ahead of time) and proceeded to wash her feet.

As he was washing her feet he told her of his deep love for her and asked her to consider being his wife. He said, “I want to serve you and wash your feet for the rest of our lives together.” It didn’t take her long to express her love to him and to accept his proposal of marriage.

Isn’t that a romantic story? What a beautiful beginning for a life together and what a wonderful attitude to have! We pray he never forgets what he had proposed to her —not only to marry, but the attitude of the heart.

Another wedding we proposal we read about in a past issue of Marriage Partnership Magazine. In this article, it told of a man who had arranged for a stranger to help him surprise the woman he loved with a book that would lead to his marriage proposal in a very romantic setting. Rather than try to explain the story of his wedding proposal, we would like to have you read about it for yourself.

Below you will find a web site link to the article which contains not only this story but many more that you could find inspirational. Please click onto the link below to read it:

• TERMS OF ENGAGEMENT: Winning Engagement Stories

There are additional ways to propose to the woman you love. A few examples are:

•  Find a secluded quiet place and simply get down on one knee and propose.

•  Tape a video proposal and post it on YouTube. Tell her you found a great video you want her to see.

•  Use poetry word magnets to write out your proposal on the front of her fridge.

The above suggestions are 3 out of 40 that Dr David Gudgel has posted on his web site Beforeyougetengaged.com. To read all of them, please click onto the link provided below:

• 40 ENGAGEMENT IDEAS

For additional proposal ideas, the web site for Christian Marriage Today has some great ones! To read what they have posted, please click onto the link below:

• CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IDEAS

Another article we found that you may find helpful, you can read by clicking onto the link provided below:

• Got Cold Feet When It Comes to Creative Marriage Proposal Ideas

We also found a humorous and yet helpful video that tells of one man’s findings as to the best way to propose. We hope it will help you to plan for your wedding proposal. Please click onto the link below to view what is posted on this subject:

• CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

We’d LOVE to know of your ideas and maybe a testimony from those of you who have already proposed and found it to be a positive experience. How did you propose?

In all truthfulness, do you know when we finally organized our wedding photos? It was around the date of our 35th wedding anniversary. Pretty bad, huh? And what’s funny is that I’m a pretty organized person. I don’t usually procrastinate over things that are important. But the photos definitely got away from me as far as allowing too much time to pass.

I say all of this because I want to urge you not to allow too much time to go by before you organize your photos. We have photos of certain people that we don’t know who they are anymore. And that’s pretty sad.

You don’t have to do anything real elaborate in organizing your photographs. (And it’s easier to organize things now with digital cameras and filing them in your computer.) but if your plans are so complicated that you keep putting it off, then maybe it would be good to rethink your plans or at least do it in a two-step phase so they’re organized in a simpler way first and then get more elaborate later. BUT JUST DO IT!!!

So, to help you take charge of organizing your photo memories, we found a good article posted on the web site for Marriage Partnership Magazine that you could read that might help you with this task.

To do so, please click onto the link provided below to read:

• PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORIES

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PAINTING/DECORATING/GARDENING/LANDSCAPE PARTY

This is a perfect opportunity to get the guys involved.

Activity: Everyone comes dressed to work and brings the appropriate tools: paint brushes, rollers, wallpapering tools, or gardening tools— whatever the situation requires. Expertise and elbow grease are the greatest gifts given at this shower, but guests may also purchase tools for the couple or pool resources to pay for materials. This fun party is an occasion you and your friends will thoroughly enjoy and remember for years.

Food: Guests work hard at this party and should have a substantial meal when the work is done or during a break in the action. A potluck meal is best— each guest brings a salad, a casserole, a beverage, or a dessert. Coordinate the menu to ensure variety, and don’t forget to supply disposable plates, cups, flatware, serving pieces, and trash bags for cleaning up.

Decorations: Because this is a working party, decorations other than a simple centerpiece are in the way.

BOX SHOWERS

These showers supply gifts— anything that comes in a box, including such things as laundry soap or macaroni. Or the idea can be stretched to include small appliances or a box of handkerchiefs.

Activity: Off a prize for the gift that is boxed in the cleverest way; have guests vote for the winner. Give the bride a decorative storage box to hold the gifts at the shower and store blankets or other items later on.

Food: Serve as many items as you can that either come in boxes or are made from ingredients that come in boxes, keeping track of those ingredients. After the food has been served, ask the guests to name as many of these items as they can. Give boxed prizes.

Decorations: Let the wrapped gift boxes in the room carry out your theme in your decorating.

KITCHEN SHOWERS

Kitchen showers take many forms: be as general or as specific as you wish. Some kitchen shower themes are suggested below; others you might try include brushes, cutlery, soaps—anything you use in the kitchen. The more showers a bride is given, the more specific you can be with your theme.

[A few other suggestions the author gives are "Spice Showers" where "each guest brings a spice, along with her favorite recipe using that spice. Also, you can give a "Breakfast Shower" where guests "give gifts for making or eating breakfast." Another suggestion is a "Gadget Shower" where"each guest must include some kind of kitchen gadget as part or all of her gift."]

Be sure that whatever verses you use, you are willing to live by. Don’t make a vow that you are not willing to carry out in how you live together as husband and wife. God takes your vows very seriously, and so should you.

• It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later consider his vows. (Proverbs 20:25)

• Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bing them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and good name in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:3-4)

• Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. (Psalm 85:10)

• Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

• Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. (Song of Songs 8:6-7a)

•  To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthinans 7:10-11)

•  If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but I have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:1-8a)

•  Do everything in love. (1 Corinthians 16:14)

•  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

•  Be very careful, then, how you live— not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. …Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:15-16, 21)

•  As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly love, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)

• Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

•  Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:5-8)

•  This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. …Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:16, 18)

• I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. (2 John 1:6)

• Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth and love. (2 John 1:3)

• Need to get married fast
• Want to avoid family drama
• Want to save money
• No interest or time in planning a wedding
• There aren’t many people in your life to make it worth a wedding

While we believe weddings are a way to gather family, friends, and your extended community to celebrate your union we would never tell anyone to not elope. You are simply postponing the union of family and friends for many small occasions where they’ll celebrate your newfound marriage.

Our feeling is that couples may think it is easier to elope but the decision may be met with emotions you were unprepared for:

• Anger
• Shock
• Confusion
• Sadness

Sometimes to appease the negative feelings, couples may have a wedding reception at a later date to gather loved ones. Often couples become shocked when a simple reception turns into the wedding drama and stress they were trying to avoid. All the emotions people have about showing off the new member of the family, about their son or daughter tying the knot, or the lack of control over your decision to elope may result in some madness around the reception.

For whatever reason you chose to elope, trust that you are not escaping family drama. It may show up just before you elope, at the first major family birthday or holiday after your elopement, or at your one year anniversary. Rarely do families accept a new “in-law” without new emotions and attitudes. You are very lucky if everyone in your life is excited about your elopement!!

Wedding planning is often an extended view of the first years of marriage where every stakeholder in your life comes out to express their opinion about you, about everyone in the extended clan, your relationship and your life decisions. By eloping you may be forcing those bottled emotions to spring in any number of surprising ways. Be prepared! While some people make horrible mistakes in wedding planning that haunt them for years into their marriage (attacking in laws during a wedding planning meltdown moment, for example), the choice to elope may be an equally dramatic “mistake” in the eyes of your family.

Our new book Take Back Your Wedding helps you need navigate the landmine of emotions you are about to create or have already created. It’s really about how to be married as a couple with your families — hard lessons you can avoid early in your marriage. Because no matter how the paperwork gets signed, you are creating a new family for each other and making in-laws out of your parents and siblings with your new mate.

An important tool for any engaged couple is to take Premarital Counseling. Many churches require it but outside of that arena, few couples take any pre-marriage education. We have just the tool for you. We offer a premarital inventory called The Couple Check Up, created by one of the nations top marriage inventory companies. For only $30 you will get a personalized report of your relationship, areas of strength and areas of growth opportunity. I took it with my husband and it was an eye opening experience to see how you “stack up” against millions of other couples.

All our best for your marriage and beyond.

The above article was written by Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, who is part of a father/daughter team along with her father Bill Doherty, a family therapist. Together they have a web site (that you may want to visit) at www.thefirstdance.com.

“Planning my wedding was one of the most trying and wonderful and exhausting and fulfilling experiences of my life. From choosing a date and time to compiling the guest list to finding the dress, the details quickly became overwhelming.

“While my fiancé and I enjoyed the anticipation leading up to the big day, stress and worry clouded some of our pre-marital bliss.

“In the end, our wedding and reception went off without a hitch, but there were definitely some things I wish I had known before organizing the biggest party of my life. Here are a few suggestions I picked up along the way that may help you through the process:

To continue reading this article article titled “Tips for Tying the Knot”:

CLICK HERE

The following is a fun marriage proposal that one man put together. PLEASE NOTE: If you are this creative in romancing your spouse to be … don’t neglect to put the same energy into romancing your beloved after the wedding. If you do that, you will be rewarded by happiness for the rest of your lives together.

To see this creative marriage proposal, please click here:

• SURPRISE PROPOSAL INSIDE OF A MUSEUM

There are a few additional articles that you could find helpful in planning and organizing your wedding as well, the first two are posted on Dave Ramsey.com to help you financially plan for your wedding. The next one is posted on Crosswalk.com. And the other two are posted on the web site Bible.org. You can read these articles by clicking on the following links:

• 5 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR WEDDING FROM BREAKING THE BANK

• PLANNING YOUR WEDDING ON A BUDGET

• TIPS FOR WEDDING SAVINGS

• WEDDING PLANNING GUIDE

• OUTLINE OF WEDDING CEREMONY

• INEXPENSIVE WEDDING IDEAS

• CHEAP WEDDING IDEAS

The following is an idea for having a backyard wedding, which can be fun, cost effective, and unique. Click onto the link to see a pictorial explanation:

• THE BACKYARD WEDDING (titled: “Wedding Album”)

Also, there is an article posted on About.com which has quite a few tips for those who are planning a Christian ceremony, and then another article from Crosswalk.com which gives suggestions for simplifying your wedding. Please click onto the links below to read:

•  PLANNING YOUR CHRISTIAN WEDDING CEREMONY

• SIMPLIFY YOUR WEDDING PLANS

And then there is the unexpected —things that happen at your wedding and honeymoon that you didn’t plan. For example, when I went to grab on my wedding veil to take to the church on our wedding day, I saw that the veil had been torn somehow. I was horrified wondering how this could have happened since it was hanging “safely” behind my bedroom door. Upon examining it closer, I found out that our cat had somehow found a way to chew on it and shred parts of it.

Amidst my tears, my mom remembered a friend of hers who did alterations. Eventually the veil was properly cut so it didn’t even look like there was a chewing and shredding incident beforehand. Although it was a lot shorter, the veil still looked presentable. (But I can tell you that I was a little less trusting and happy with our cat from that day forward.)

I can now laugh at this as one of many things that happened despite the fact that we made such careful plans for things to go smoothly. We can plan all we want, but things happen!

I also see that things happen in life, which we make a bigger deal out of, than we should. Some things could be viewed as temporary set-backs, some things can “help to make us stronger” in the context of living in this unpredictable world, as well as the fact that some things can just be seen as laughable. The world didn’t end that day when we encountered problems, and it’s better to laugh than to cry sometimes.

As you carefully plan your wedding, try to remember to breathe and take “unplanned” as well as planned things a little more in stride as being less important in the grand scheme of things. You can sometimes drive yourself and others around you, more than a little crazy when you allow wedding plans to grow bigger than life in their importance. Remember to breathe and take things a bit easier.

Yes, this is a sacred occasion, but sometimes, you can’t always plan for everything that might come your way, so try to take what comes in stride and relax as much as you can during the planning stage and during the ceremony. Love and laugh and exhibit grace along the way.

To help you to see this a little clearer (and to give you something that could possibly make you smile a bit) we’d like to lead you to a few incidences where others found themselves in situations that were unplanned on the day of their wedding.

Please click to view the following You Tube bloopers:

• WEDDING BLOOPER

• WEDDING BLOOPERS

• (More) WEDDING BLOOPERS

• FUNNY WEDDING BLOOPERS – Part 2

The above article was written by Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions

Sometimes, parents or relatives try to make your wedding into the wedding they never had (yet always dreamed of). Your friends may be guilty of pressuring you to make your wedding fit some predetermined mold. Put another way, while you may be the stars of the show, you and your fiancé may not be the wedding’s directors, producers or choreographers.

Recognize this fact early and learn to negotiate without giving ultimatums. Yes, it is YOUR day, but remembering that others (parents, friends, relatives) are on the stage with you may prevent excessive bloodshed.

Weddings always end up twice as large as originally planned. If only we had a dime for every couple we met who said “all we wanted was a small, intimate wedding and what we got was a huge affair for 500 guests.” A wedding often takes on a life of its own, expanding into a hideous creature several times larger than you ever imagined.

This process usually begins with what we call Guest List Inflation. Here the guest list grows because each family simply must invite personal friends, close business associates and people whom they haven’t seen in 15 years. The main problem: adding to the guest list has a direct, negative impact on your budget.

Several weddings have nearly unraveled when families have insisted on inflating the guest list without offering to help pay for the additional cost. We suggest you and your families be allowed to invite a certain number of guests each. Any invites beyond those targets must be financed by the offending party. Careful negotiations are often necessary to avoid open warfare on this point.

Perfect weddings don’t exist in the free world. No matter what anyone tells you, understand that the “perfect wedding” is an impossibility on planet Earth. That’s because weddings always involve human beings who, on the whole, tend to be less than perfect creatures.

Now, we know everyone tells you that you must have the perfect gown, perfect flowers, and perfect cake unless you want to catch the Bridal Plague and die an agonizingly painful death. Don’t listen to them. Instead, we suggest you aim for a “fantastic” or “wonderful” wedding. Or even just a fun wedding!

Since it’s impossible to perfectly script something as complex as a wedding, we say why try? Attendants will miss cues; things will go wrong—if you need any proof of this just watch any of those “outrageous and shocking home video” shows. Ever wonder why so many of those clips are of weddings? Hmmmmmm.

Aiming for a wonderful wedding will also give you another benefit—you will probably be able to maintain your sanity.

The “wedding industry” isn’t as innocent as it looks. You might think the wedding industry is a collection of sweet old ladies whose only desire is to help young couples in love, but the reality is quite the opposite. Instead, think of the bridal biz as a group of cut-throat merchants who, in some cases, will do anything for a sale.

Newspaper columnist Dave Barry once wrote that the motto of the wedding industry is, “Money can’t buy you happiness, so you might as well give your money to us.” Quite true. Weddings are big bucks.

According to the latest research, over $20 billion dollars will be spent this year by couples tying the knot. That’s billion with a “b.” And that’s just the wedding and reception—add in another $19 billion spent on gifts and $8 billion on honeymoons and you’ve got a $47 billion bridal juggernaut. We like to call it the Wedding Industrial Complex.

Scary fact: the wedding industry dwarfs many other businesses, including the breakfast food biz (a paltry $16 billion in Fruit Loops and the like) or the record industry ($15 billion in CD sales.)

And you can bet your bridal veil that the industry knows EXACTLY how lucrative all these “I Do’s” can be. To illustrate this, check out what the publisher of Bride’s magazine told a trade journal about the wedding industry: “Never before in a woman’s life, and never again, is she going to be worth this much money to a marketer. There is no price resistance and she is completely open to new brands,” Bride’s publisher cackled, adding that the internal tag line for Bride’s is “Where Love Meets Money.”

Of course, we’re not against folks trying to make a buck. Hey, sell a quality product or service at a fair price and make a profit — that’s America. Yet what makes wedding planning so crazy are bridal merchants who view brides and grooms as human ATM’s. Other wedding vendors seem at war with their customers, as odd as that seems. Take bridal dress retailers—please! These stores are incredibly inventive at separating brides from their money, generating a huge volume of complaints from consumers.

Why do some bridal merchants and vendors think engaged couples are an easy mark? That’s because weddings are a one-shot deal. There are no repeat customers (except if you are, say Elizabeth Taylor or Larry King). Unlike other industries that rely on repeat business, wedding merchants know you won’t be stopping by next month to buy another bridal gown, cake or ice sculpture. And with a fresh crop of new brides and grooms each year, some sleazy merchants can continue their rip-offs and scams with little fear of getting busted.

So, separate the good guys from the scamsters out there in wedding land. Yes, there are ethical and honest bridal professionals out there that charge a fair price. Just be aware the wedding business is just that—a business, where folks are trying to make a buck while you tie the knot.

Marriage Missions Editors Addition to this list: A wedding is for a day, a marriage is to be for a lifetime. Why is it that we overlook that—or at least overlook the importance of that? It’s great to feel like a “princess for a day” but don’t overlook the fact that the wedding is a one day celebration that initiates the beginning of a lifetime event—a lifetime event that matters very much to God! And for that reason, it should matter very much to us—so much so that we should invest as much as we possibly can into making it successful.

Marriage is portrayed throughout the Bible as a living picture of Christ’s love for the church. It’s a picture that we aren’t to take lightly or tear apart. So as you prepare for your wedding, don’t forget to put all the preparation time into the marriage that it deserves. A good marriage takes a lot of work, commitment, and sacrifice to keep it strong. It’s not a one day event that you can slide through after the wedding day is done. You’re marrying each other in mind, body, and spirit — with God uniting you even stronger together as a team, as you allow Him to enter in and help you. The question is: what are you doing to prepare for this sacred union before the wedding? And what are you planning to do to after the wedding (and the honeymoon) to keep this sacred union going strong?

This is a fun secular book that gives a whole host of real life solutions and creative ideas to plan a wedding without going bankrupt. Most of the tips are such that they would pertain more to American or Canadian weddings (which we’re sorry to say to those of you who are located outside of the U.S. or Canada). But we can see how it could truly save those who are getting married a lot of money plus give them a lot of tips they may never have thought of before. It’s practical and fun all at the same time!

You may find that you’ll come across other contradictory stories that claim to tell how each of these traditions got started. What is told below may or may not be the original symbolism behind each one. We THINK they are but we can’t be certain.

As you read through the information below you need to decide for yourself what you want to use in your wedding and what you don’t. You need to follow the conviction of your own heart(s).

From our own standpoint, because so many of these findings may have been based on folklore and superstition, we personally questioned whether different traditions should be used at all in such a sacred ceremony.

The prayerful conclusion we came to is to encourage others, such as yourself, to concentrate on what each one of them means to you at this point. Some of them can be used to just have fun with — to bring fun into such a joyous occasion. And others can be developed to hold a deeper meaning in the wedding ceremony than the “original” tradition may have intended.

With all of this in mind try not to get too involved in the meanings behind these traditions. Look at the information below and then decide for yourself what meaning you want attached to them and make your wedding day one that is filled with deeper meaning which honors God, each other, and the guests you’ve invited, and also a day filled with joy and laughter.

The following information (and more) can be found on:

• http://www.weddingsweddings.com/traditions.php

Those in [brackets] were found on a web site that we can no longer locate.
Many of today’s popular wedding ceremony and reception traditions can be traced to ancient Egyptian and European customs.

Many of these were based on symbolism, superstition, folklore, religion, and the early belief that evil spirits could bring disease and death to newlyweds and crops (the focal point of many farm-based early cultures).

Although the exact origin and usefulness of many of these early wedding traditions are unclear, popular acceptance has allowed them to flourish. Besides, many of these wedding traditions are just plain fun!

According to various sources, some of the early marriages were literally carried out by the Groom (and his Bridesmen or Bridesknights) who would kidnap a woman (the origin of “carrying a Bride over the threshold”) from another tribe! The Groom (and his fellow conspirators) would then fight off the female’s family of tribesmen with swords held in their right hand while the Groom would hold the captured Bride in his left hand (the origin of why a “Bride stands on the left side of the Groom” at a wedding).

After a successful capture, another politically correct practice was for the Groom to hide his new Bride for one month for mating purposes. It is said that the word “honeymoon” was created to describe this one month cycle of the moon when they would drink mead (a honey sweetened alcoholic brew that effects both sobriety and the acidity of the womb thus increasing fertility).

Later, in the more civilized (?) four-digit years (1000 – 2000), some marriages were nothing more than trading chips used in bartering land, social status, political alliances, or money (no checks or credit cards were accepted) between families!

The word Wedding:

It comes from the Anglo-Saxon word “wedd” that meant a man would marry a woman and pay the Bride’s father. If only there had been an early equivalent to television’s Roseanne or Miss Piggy, this practice no doubt would have ended quickly!

Bouquet:

Wedding bouquets were originally made of strong herbs (thyme and garlic) to frighten away evil spirits, and to cover the stench emitting from people who had not bathed recently!

[Flowers —the presence of flowers in the wedding ceremony symbolizes fertility, new life and never ending love.]

Bouquet Toss:

In ancient times, it was believed that a Bride was especially lucky on her wedding day. Guests would sometimes tear at her dress for a souvenir piece of good luck to take home. The Bride’s tossing of her bouquet grew from her desire to offer a good luck souvenir, and prevent guests from bothering her during her reception.

Bride:

[The word itself is old English, and was a name for 'cook.']

Bridesmaids:

Early Brides and Bridesmaids wore similar dresses to confuse evil spirits. [Bridesmaids and groomsmen—The tradition of having both bridesmaids and ushers present during a ceremony derives from the Roman law that mandated there be ten witnesses present at the ceremony for the purpose of fooling the evil spirits who were believed to cause mischief. The bridesmaids and groomsmen would be dressed in clothing matching identical to the bride and groom, thus keeping the evil spirits from figuring out who was actually getting married.]

The Brides Placement to the Left:

[When a bridegroom secured his bride and prepared to marry her, she was placed to his left in order to protect her, leaving his right hand free for swordplay if need be.]

Bridal Shower:

Back in the days when weddings were arranged by family members, a poor Dutchman fell in love with a girl whose father refused her a dowry. Their friends showered her with enough gifts to help them start a household. According to another lore, the first “Bridal Shower” occurred at the end of the 19th century. At a party, the Bride’s friends placed small gifts inside a parasol and opened it over the Bride’s head. When she opened the parasol, she was “showered” with presents!

[When a father did not approve of his daughter's marriage, some of the local townspeople would come together and give the bride an assortment of household items to be used as a dowry.]

Bridal Veil:

When marriages were arranged by family members, the newlyweds very rarely were allowed to see one another. Family members exchanging a dowry were afraid that if the Groom didn’t like the appearance of the Bride’s face, he might refuse to marry her. This is why the Father of the Bride “gave the Bride away” to the Groom at the actual wedding ceremony. Only after lifting her veil just prior to the ceremony did the Groom see the Bride’s face for the first time! Early Greek and Roman Brides wore red or yellow veils to represent fire, and ward off demons.

[It is speculated that the tradition of wearing a veil came from one of two possibilities: it is a throw-back to the time when the groom would throw a blanket over the head of the woman of his choice when her captured her and carted her off, or when marriages were arranged, the bride's face would be covered until the ceremony was complete, so it would be too late for the groom to run off if he didn't like the look of his bride.]

Carrying the Bride over the Threshold:

When a Groom used to steal his Bride from her tribe, he was forced to carry her kicking and screaming. This act of thievery has evolved into a more romantic gesture welcoming the Bride into her new home.

[It was tradition for the bride to enter the house through the front door before the groom, and if she tripped or stumbled it was seen to be very bad luck, hence it became a duty for the groom to carry his new bride over the threshold.]

Garter:

Brides originally tossed a garter (rather than a bouquet) at a wedding reception. In the 14th century, this custom changed because of Brides who were tired of fighting off drunken men who tried to remove the garter themselves! According to legend, the garter toss in England evolved from an earlier tradition of “flinging the stocking.” On their wedding night, guests would follow the Bride and Groom to their bedroom, wait until they undressed, steal their stockings, and then “fling” them at the couple! The first person to hit the Bride or Groom on the head would be the next person to marry.

Honeymoon:

[Originally, when the groom "kidnapped" his bride he would take her into hiding. Usually, by the time the bride's family found her, she would already be pregnant and a price for her would then be negotiated.]

Kiss:

[In Roman times a kiss was seen as a legal bond that sealed all contracts, and has become a staple ending to a wedding ceremony.]

Money Dance:

According to one custom, when arranged marriages were common the Groom collected a dowry only after his marriage was consummated. The money dance insured that the couple would have some money before they left their wedding reception. According to another wedding tradition, the people of the village gave gifts of pottery, livestock, and garden plants to the newlyweds because the Bride and Groom had no money to acquire these items until they had children, after which a dowry was exchanged.

Penny in Shoe:

This is a European tradition to bring the Bride good luck, fortune, and protection against want. After the Wedding Day, the lucky penny can be turned into a piece of jewelry as a pendant, charm for a bracelet, or ring setting.

Ring Finger:

Prior to the 5th century, the ring finger was the index finger. Later, it was believed that the third finger contained the “vein of love” that led directly to the heart.

Shoes on Vehicle:

Ancient Romans used to transfer to the Groom his authority over his Bride when her Father gave the Groom her shoes. In later years, guests threw their own shoes at the newlyweds to signify this transfer of authority. Today, this tradition is kept alive by simply tying old shoes to the back of the newlywed’s vehicle before they leave their wedding reception celebration.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue:

This superstition of the Bride wearing something that fits each of these four categories originated in Europe to ward off evil spirits. Something Old: This tradition symbolized the sense of continuity while making the transition from a single person to that of a married couple. Something New: This tradition symbolized that marriage represented a transition to adulthood. Something Borrowed: This tradition symbolized the popular belief that by borrowing something from a happily married couple, good fortune would follow the newlyweds. Something Blue: In ancient Israel, blue was the border color of the Bride’s dress symbolizing purity, constancy and fidelity.

Stag Parties:

This is the male equivalent of the Bridal Shower. Roman Empire soldiers would feast with the Groom the night before his wedding to say goodbye to his irresponsible days of bachelorhood, and to renew their vows of allegiance to their friendships.

Tossing Rice:

Believing newlyweds brought good luck, guests used to shower them with nuts and grains to insure a bountiful harvest and many children to work the land. During years of a poor harvest, rice was tossed instead. This tradition continues today with rice or birdseed (where permitted), or bubbles to wish the Bride and Groom much happiness. Incidentally, it is only a superstition that birds eating rice thrown after a wedding ceremony are destined to have their stomachs enlarge and eventually explode. This myth may have simply evolved from church/synagogue employees weary from cleaning after every wedding ceremony!

Tuxedo:

Until the 20th century, the Groom simply wore his “Sunday best” on his wedding day. It is said that President Teddy Roosevelt popularized the modern tuxedo.

Tying the Knot:

This comes from the days of the Roman Empire when the Bride wore a girdle that was tied in knots. The Groom untied the knots prior to the consummation of their marriage.

Wedding Cake:

Also during the days of the Roman empire, wedding cakes were baked of wheat or barley. At the reception, they were traditionally broken over the head of the new Bride by the Groom as a symbol of her fertility. Guests would then scramble for pieces of the cake, and take them home for good luck. It later became a tradition to place many small cakes on top of each other as high as possible. The newlyweds would then try to exchange a kiss over the top of the tower of cakes without knocking them down. During the reign of King Charles II of England, a daring baker added icing, and the modern style of wedding cake was born. It is unclear when the tradition of the newlyweds smashing wedding cake into each other’s face first began, and uncertain if that marriage lasted more than one day!

Wedding Ring:

According to some historians, the first recorded marriage rings date back to the days when early man tied plaited circlets around the Bride’s wrists and ankles to keep her spirit from running away. Approximately 3,000 BC, Egyptians originated the phrase “without beginning, without end” in describing the significance of the wedding ring. These rings were made of woven hemp which constantly wore out and needed replacement. Although Romans originally used iron, gold is now used as a symbol of all that is pure. Diamonds were first used by Italians who believed that it was created from the flames of love. In some European cultures, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand. In other cultures, an engagement ring is worn on the left hand, and the wedding ring is worn on the right hand.

Wedding Toast:

It is said that this tradition first began in France where bread would be placed in the bottom of two drinking glasses for the newlyweds. They would then drink as fast as they could to be the first person to get to the toast. According to legend, the winner would rule their household!

White Wedding Dress:

This was made popular in the 1840’s by Queen Victoria (instead of the traditional royal “silver” wedding dress). Prior to this, Brides simply wore their best dress on their wedding day.

[Not only does white symbolize purity and virginity, but it was also thought to ward off evil spirits".]

White Aisle Runner:

[This is supposed to symbolize God's holiness and walking on holy ground. It is believed that by having this runner present in the place of marriage, God will be actively involved in the ceremony.]

POPULAR ETHNIC and RELIGIOUS WEDDING TRADITIONS:

Various wedding customs have their roots and popularity based on ethnic origin:

African-American:

At some African-American wedding ceremonies, newlyweds “jump over a broom” to symbolize the beginning of a new life. The ritual was created during slavery when African-Americans could not legally marry. Some people trace this wedding tradition to an African tribal marriage ritual of placing sticks on the ground representing the couple’s new home. Today, the jumping of the broom is a symbol of sweeping away of the old, and welcoming the new. Broom Jumping can be performed either at the wedding ceremony after the minister pronounces the newlyweds husband and wife, or at the wedding reception just after the Bridal Party enters the reception area.

A fully decorated broom can be purchased at ethnic stores. Other couples may prefer to use a regular household broom decorated with bows/flowers/other trinkets in the wedding colors. At some receptions, guests may participate in the ceremony by tying ribbons around the broom before the Broom Jumping begins.

Belgian:

As the Bride walks up the aisle at her Wedding Ceremony, the Bride stops and hands her mother a flower from her bouquet and they embrace. After the Wedding Ceremony is finished, the new couple walks to the Groom’s side of the church and the Bride gives her mother-in-law a second flower from her bouquet and they also embrace.

Chinese:

The Bride may wear a red wedding dress symbolizing love and joy. At the wedding reception, a nine-course meal (lasting up to three hours) is very popular. A family member may act as the official “Master of Ceremonies” orchestrating family introductions, toasts, comedy sketches, and a reenactment of the newlywed’s courtship.

Eastern Orthodox Church:

The rings are blessed by the Priest taking them in hand and making the sign of the cross over the Bride and Groom’s head. The “Koumbaros” (Best Man) then exchanges the rings three times taking the Bride’s ring and placing it on the Groom’s finger and vice-versa. This exchange signifies that in married life, the weaknesses of the one partner will be compensated for by the strength of the other, the imperfections of one by the perfection’s of the other.

Candles are held throughout the Wedding Service which begins immediately after the Betrothal Service. The candles are like the lamps of the five wise maidens of the Bible who because they had enough oil in them were able to receive Christ when He came in the darkness of the night. The candles symbolize the spiritual willingness of the couple to receive Christ who will bless them through this sacrament.

The Office of the Crowning which follows is the climax of the Wedding Service. The crowns are signs of the glory and honor that God crowns them during the sacrament. The Bride and Groom are crowned as the King and Queen of their own little kingdom (their home) which they will rule with wisdom, justice, and integrity.

French:

One early French wedding custom signifies the new alliance created by uniting two families through marriage. During the Wedding Reception, the new couple raises a glass of wine from two different vineyards. They then pour their wine into a third glass and each drinks from it.

German:

During the wedding ceremony, the Groom may kneel on the hem of the Bride’s dress to symbolize his control over her. Not to be outdone, the Bride may step on the Groom’s foot when she rises to symbolize her power over him!

Greek:

Some newlyweds wear a crown of flowers during the wedding ceremony. The couple may walk around the altar three times representing the Holy Trinity. At the reception, Greek folk dances are popular with guests lining up in a single file line.

Hispanic:

During the wedding ceremony, thirteen gold coins (representing the Groom’s dowry to his Bride) are often blessed by the priest, and passed between the hands of the newlyweds several times before ending with the Bride. A large rosary or white rope (“laso”) is sometimes wound around the couple’s shoulders in a figure-8 during the wedding ceremony to symbolize their union as one.

Irish:

In the early 1900’s, an Irish couple would walk to church together on their Wedding Day. If the people of their parish approved their union they would throw rice, pots, pans, brushes and other household items at the couple as they approached their church. Today, hen parties (Bridal Showers) have replaced this practice.

Some Irish people wear a claddagh ring for a wedding ring. This ring was created by a master goldsmith, Richard Joyce, 400 years ago in a fishing village called Claddagh overlooking Galway Bay. The claddagh symbolizes love, loyalty, and friendship. On the right hand with the heart facing inward it means the wearer’s heart is unoccupied… facing outwards reveals love is being considered. When worn on the left hand facing outward it signifies that the wearer is seriously committed or married.

At some Irish wedding receptions, the Groom is lifted in a chair (“jaunting car”) to celebrate that he is a married man. For good luck, the newlyweds are given a horseshoe to display in their home in the upward position. A traditional Irish wedding cake is a fruitcake.

Traditional Irish toasts (in addition to remarks from the Best Man) are very popular. Irish Marriage Blessing May God be with you and bless you; May you see your children’s children. May you be poor in misfortune, Rich in blessings, May you know nothing but happiness. From this day forward.

Italian:

Some Brides may choose to carry a white silk or satin purse (“busta”) to store gifts of money that are welcomed. Tarantella folk dances are popular at the wedding reception. Another Italian custom is to present five sugar-coated almonds to the guests which represent health, wealth, long life, fertility, and happiness.

Japanese:

The Bride and her Parents might visit the Groom’s house on wedding day. At the wedding ceremony, the Bride’s wedding gown is often a traditional wedding kimono. She usually changes into something else at the wedding reception. The first of nine sips of sake drunk by the Bride and Groom at their wedding ceremony symbolizes the official union of marriage.

Jewish:

It is a Jewish tradition for a Bride to present her Groom with a tallit to wear for his Aufruf (reading of the Torah prior to their ceremony). The Groom’s family often gives candlesticks to the Bride that can be used during the actual wedding ceremony.

It is also a custom for Jewish men to cover their heads at all times (especially during prayers) with a kippot (yarmulkes) as a form of reverence, respect, and to acknowledgement that God is present everywhere. In some congregations, women also cover their heads to pray.

Some Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform wedding ceremonies take place under a hupah (wedding canopy). The hupah is a rectangular piece of cloth large enough for the Bride, Groom, Rabbi, and sometimes other members of the wedding party. The hupah signifies the new home about to be shared by the newlyweds.

Before the procession to the hupah, the tanaim are signed, and the Groom is asked if he is ready to take on the responsibilities as outlined in the ketubah. He signifies his willingness by accepting a handkerchief or other object offered to him by the Rabbi. The two witnesses to this sign the ketubah. While the actual text of the ketubah is never meant to vary, the border decorations on this document have over the centuries been the subject of remarkable artistic creations.

At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, the Bride might observe the Biblical custom of Circling the Groom seven times. This practice is seen as a powerful act of definition where the Bride will symbolically create the space that they will share as husband and wife.

In Judaism, the number seven is mystical and represents completion and fulfillment. Just as the creation of the world was finished in seven days, the seven circles complete the couple’s search for each other.

The bedeken, or veiling, is a small ceremony in which the Groom lowers the veil over the Bride’s face, and by this act acknowledges that he is marrying the correct woman. This custom originated in the story of Jacob who didn’t see the face of his Bride prior to his wedding and was tricked into marrying Leah instead of his intended, Rachel.

The Jewish marriage ceremony consists of two parts: Erusin (pre-engagement) and Nissuin (marriage). These ceremonies were historically performed up to one-year apart, but more recently the two have been combined into one ceremony.

The Eursin ceremony begins with Kiddush, the blessing over the wine. Kiddush is part of virtually all Jewish observances as a prayer of sanctification. The exchange of rings completes the Erusin ceremony. In Jewish law, a verbal declaration of marriage is not legally binding unless an act of Kinyan, a formal physical acquisition is completed. This is reached when two witnesses see the Bride accept a ring from the Groom and he recites the words of marriage. After the ketubah has been read at the ceremony, wine is often poured into a new glass and the Sheva Berakhot (Seven Benedictions) are recited over it.

The Bride and Groom then drink from the glass of wine. With the ceremony complete, tradition calls for the Groom to break the wrapped glass by stomping on it. This final action symbolizes the destruction of the Holy Temple in Israel, and reminds guests that love is fragile. The audience may shout Mazel Tov, and the Bride and Groom kiss. Immediately after the wedding ceremony, the couple may spend a few private moments together, or Yichud as a symbolic consummation of their marriage. Later, the Mitzvah, or obligation, of rejoicing at a wedding reception is incumbent on the Bride, Groom, and guests.

Mexican:

Red beads are sometimes tossed at Newlyweds to bring them good luck.

Polish:

The Mother of the Bride may choose to place the veil on the Bride before the wedding ceremony to symbolize her last task that a Mother does on behalf of her girl before she becomes a married woman.

A traditional folk song (“Twelve Angels”) is sometimes played at the reception allowing the Bride to transfer her veil (and good luck to be married) to her Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids, and Flower Girl.

A morning wedding ceremony is sometimes followed with a brief afternoon luncheon, several hours of downtime when guests return home, and then a long evening wedding reception. Polka dances and other audience participation events are very popular.

Scottish:

The Groom and his Groomsmen often wear Scottish kilts (better not ask what they are wearing underneath!). The Groom may present the Bride with an engraved silver teaspoon on their wedding day to symbolize that they will never go hungry. A traditional sword dance is sometimes performed at their wedding reception.

Spanish:

A Spanish Groom gives sometimes gives his Bride thirteen coins in memory of Christ and the twelve apostles. The Bride carries them in a small bag during the Wedding Ceremony as a symbol that the Groom promises to support and care for her.

ADDITIONAL WEDDING TRADITIONS
(From the web site: www.weddingflowersandmore.com
where you can also find additional helpful information):

Bridesmaids’ Dresses:

If you’ve ever wondered why bridesmaids all dress the same, it’s because Roman law required ten witnesses to make a wedding legal. Several of these witnesses dressed up exactly like the bride and groom, to confound any malevolent forces who might show up uninvited. Europeans followed a similar tradition, and later bridesmaids and groomsmen sometimes did have to defend the happy couple against real-life thugs and warriors.

Ring Around the…

If you’ve ever wondered why Americans put the wedding ring on the third finger of the left hand, it’s because of an ancient Greek belief that a vein in this finger ran directly to the heart. And if you’ve ever groaned at having to buy both an engagement ring and a wedding ring, you can blame Pope Innocent III, who instituted a waiting period between engagement and marriage in the 13th century and also insisted that a ring be used in the wedding ceremony. Before that, rings were used to seal an engagement only (as well as other important agreements).

You May Exchange Souls with the Bride:

Yes, this is what the big wedding kiss symbolizes—the swapping of souls between the bride and groom. Even earlier than this Christian belief, the Romans used a kiss to seal a contract. The kiss was considered legally binding. I don’t know about you, but I’m glad that a handshake suffices today. What’s more, a bride marrying in the Church of England had to kiss the minister before she smooched the groom. I would really love to go to a wedding where the minister said, “Now, I may kiss the bride.”

The Toast:

We call it a “toast” when we drink to someone because of an old French custom in which a piece of bread was put in the bottom of the wine cup—for flavor.

Party-goers would drink and pass the cup; when it reached the person being toasted, he would drain it—crouton and all. It sounds pretty unhygienic. But think of how much more excitement a crunchy beverage would bring to the traditional wedding toast. I’d drink to that.

Tossing a Garter:

Many things are thrown through the air at weddings: rice (for fertility), bouquets (for luck and protection), and garters (also for luck). The garter is my favorite.

Apparently, in the good old days, before wedding dresses cost as much as small cars, people used to rip off chunks of the dress for good luck.

In long-ago England, in a slightly related custom, friends of the groom would rip off their socks and throw them; the first to hit the groom’s nose would be the next to be married.

Why Left?

Traditionally, the bride stands on the left, the groom on the right (although the Jewish wedding tradition reverses this.) Weddings used to be a lot more like the ones you watch on TV, with dastardly ex-suitors and other thugs sometimes rushing the altar. And of course, some wedding crashers were heroes, just trying to rescue a captured bride. Whatever the reason for the interference, the groom needed to keep his right hand free so he could grab his sword, thus the bride stood clear and to the left. I have no idea what happened when the groom was left-handed.

Unity Candle:

Probably the most familiar religious wedding traditions to Americans are the Roman Catholic and Protestant ones. The lighting of the unity candle—where two symbolic flames become one—is a particularly familiar image. This is a really nice tradition. But I can say from experience that it is stressful bending over an open flame when you’re wearing a veil.

Hindu:

In some Hindu wedding ceremonies, the groom is responsible for the bride’s clothing. But instead of the familiar white gown, Hindu brides wear a sari. When the bride arrives at the ceremony, she wears clothing from her parents; when all is done, she is dressed in clothing her husband has provided.

Islamic:

It’s an old Islamic custom, not often practiced today, to paint the hands of the bride and groom with henna the night before the wedding. Not only does this look beautiful, but it also helps the bride and groom to get to know each other. There are a few traditions here. One is that a dark hand design (called menhdi, by the way) signified the couple would have a strong bond. And if the groom couldn’t find his name written into the design on the bride’s hand, it was believed that the bride would wear the proverbial pants in the relationship.

Jewish:

Jewish tradition of stomping on a glass wrapped in cloth symbolizes the destruction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, among other hardships endured by the Jewish people. Destroying a glass during an otherwise happy ceremony also symbolizes the mix of joy and sorrow in life.

Korea:

Two Korean wedding traditions involve birds that mate for life: ducks and geese. Korean grooms used to travel to the homes of their brides on the back of a white pony, bearing a goose, which symbolizes fidelity. Nowadays, they use symbolic wooden geese. In another tradition, a pair of wooden ducks, one symbolizing the bride and the other the groom, can indicate whether couples are happy or at odds. After the wedding each spouse places one of the ducks somewhere in their house. If the ducks face nose to nose, the couple is getting along. If they are tail to tail, the couple is believed to be fighting.

Scotland:

While the Swedes make the walk down the aisle more uncomfortable for the bride, who often wears coins in each shoe, the Scottish have a tradition that sounds a lot more pleasant—at least for the bride. The night before the wedding, everyone gathers ’round to wash her feet. The point of this, in case you’re wondering, is not to create a home spa feeling. Rather, it symbolizes sending the couple off on a fresh path together.

Africa:

In some parts of Africa, a man asks permission to marry a woman, and if the family agrees, he presents her with a little money and a kola nut. The bride opens the nut, shares it with the groom, and sends a piece via messenger to other families to announce the engagement. After the wedding ceremony, guests shower the couple with corn kernels, symbolizing fertility.

Cajun Culture:

It’s a Cajun tradition for older unmarried brothers and sisters of the bride or groom to dance with a broom at the wedding reception—thus mocking their single status.

Older siblings also take center stage—if you can call it that—in a tradition called the Hog’s Trough Dance. For good luck, the siblings have to dance in an empty hog’s trough until it breaks.

Male: I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first unto God rather than others or even you. I promise that I will lead our lives into a life of faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Ever honoring God’s guidance by His spirit through the Word, And so throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband.

Female: I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. _____, I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife.

Sample Two:

Male: I love you, _____, and I know that God has ordained this love. Because of this I desire to be your husband. Together we will be vessels for His service in accordance with His plan, so that in all areas of our life Christ will have the pre-eminence. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to love, guide, and protect you as Christ does His Church, and as long as we both are alive. According to Ephesians 5 and with His enabling power, I promise to endeavor to show to you the same kind of love as Christ showed the Church when He died for her, and to love you as a part of myself because in His sight we shall be one.

Female: I love you, ____ and I know that you love me. Because of this I desire to be your wife. For _ years I have prayed that God would lead me to His choice and I am confident that His will is being fulfilled tonight. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future I promise to be faithful to you. I will love, serve, and obey you as long as we both are alive. Christ told us that the wife must submit herself unto her own husband as unto the Lord. For as Christ is Head of His Church so is the husband head of his wife. _____, I submit myself to you.

Sample Three:

Male: I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

Female: I, _____, take you ______, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

Sample Four:

Male: _____, we read in Genesis, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife,” and in Proverbs “Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing.” He has ordained that the husband be the head of the wife. He instructs me, as the one who will be your husband, to love you as Christ loves the Church. It is my desire and delight to follow this scriptural teaching. With all my heart, I make this pledge to you.

Female: ______, the Lord instructs me as the one who will be your wife to submit to you as unto Him. Our Father created woman to be man’s helper. It is my desire and delight to follow this scriptural teaching. With all my heart I make this pledge to you.

Sample Five:

Male: ______, I love you. Today is a very special day. Long ago you were just a dream and a prayer. This day like a dream come true the Lord Himself has answered that prayer. For today, ______, you as my joy become my crown. I thank Jesus for the honor of going through time with you. Thank you for being what you are to me. With our future as bright as the promises of God, I will care for you, honor and protect you. I lay down my life for you, _____, my friend and my love. Today I give to you me.

Female: ______, I love you and I know you love me. I am confident that God has chosen you to be my husband. It is my prayer and desire that you will find in me the helpmeet God designed especially for you, and in confidence I will submit myself unto your headship as unto our Lord. Therefore, _____, I pledge to you my life as an obedient, faithful and loving wife. Whither thou goest I will go, whither thou lodgest I will lodge, Thy people shall be my people, And thy God my God.

Sample Six:

Male: ______, I love you and I know that this love is from God. Because of this, I want to be your husband so that we might serve Christ together. Through all of the uncertainties and trials of the present and future, I promise to be faithful to you and love you. I promise to guide and protect you as Christ does his church, as long as we both shall live. God’s Word gives us the perfect example of this love in Christ’s death for the Church. I shall try always, with God’s help, to show you this same kind of love, for I know that in His sight we will both be one.

Female: ______, I love you. I prayed that God would lead me to his choice. I praise Him that tonight His will is being fulfilled. Through the pressures of the present and uncertainties of the future I promise my faithfulness, to follow you through all of life’s experiences as you follow God, that together we may grow in the likeness of Christ and our home be a praise to Him.

Sample Seven:

Male: ______, as we stand before both God and man, making public our commitment to one another, I wish to make it known that I recognize first of all God’s authority over my life which is exercised from His loving heart. He has chosen me to be one of his own, and He is now my life. I recognize also that He has blessed me and entrusted to me your life as a free gift that I have not earned. In recognition of these things, ____ I purpose to love you with His love, to provide for your needs through His enablement, and to lead you as He leads me, as long as He give us life together, regardless of the circumstances. As Psalm 34:3 expressed my heart when I asked you to marry me, so it expresses my heart now: “O magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together.”

Female: On this special day, _____, I am reminded of the verse James 1:17 which says, “Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” With a gift such as you, I know that many new responsibilities face me. In I Corinthians, it explains “It is required of a steward to be found trustworthy.” I cannot do this on my own strength, _______, but by God’s grace and power working within me I desire to be trustworthy as your wife by following your leading submissively, even as unto Christ, loving and serving you in all circumstances as long as He give me life on this earth.

Sample Eight:

Male: ______, I give you this ring; wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live.

Female: ______, I give you this ring; wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my husband: to have and to hold, from this day forward. For better, for worse, for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to have and to cherish, as long as we both shall live. And hereto, I pledge you my faithfulness to show to you the same kind of love as Christ showed the Church when He died for her, and to love you as a part of myself because in His sight we shall be one.

Sample Nine:

Male: I, ______, take you _____ to be my wife, before God who brought us together; to love and cherish you even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it, to lead you and share all of life’s experiences with you by following God through them. That through His grace, ____, we might grow together into the likeness of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

Female: And with this ring, I, ____, take you, _____ to be my husband, before God who brought us together, to love you, cherish you, to submit myself unto you in all things, and to follow you through all of life’s experiences as you follow God. That through His grace we might grow together into the likeness of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

Sample Ten:

Male: I, ______, take you ______, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, or the Lord comes for His own, and hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

(The Minister will quietly suggest they loose hands; then the Woman with her right hand will take the right hand of the Man and repeat.)

Female: I, _____, take you ______, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love land to cherish, till death do us part, or the Lord comes for His own, and hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

Sample Eleven:

Male: I ______, in faith, honesty and love, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife, to share with you God’s plan for our lives together united in Christ. And with God’s help, to strengthen and guide me I will be a strong spiritual leader for us in our life, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, in joys and in sorrows, until death do we part. I give you all that I have myself and my love. (All these things I pledge to thee) In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ. With this ring I seal my vow of love to you, ______and pray I may fulfill God’s place in our home, in the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Sample Twelve:

Male: I love you, ______, and I thank the Lord for the love that has bound our hearts and lives together in spiritual fellowship of marriage. I will love, honor and cherish you always. As we enter upon the privileges and joys of life’s most holy relationship, and begin together the great adventure of building a Christian home, I will look to Christ as Head of our home as I have looked to Him as Head of the Church. I will love you in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in sorrow as in joy, and will be true to you by God’s grace, trusting in Him, so long as we both shall live.

Female: I love you, ______, and I thank the Lord for the love that has bound our hearts and lives together in spiritual fellowship of marriage. I will love, honor, cherish and obey you always. As we enter upon the privileges and joys of life’s most holy relationship and begin together the great adventure of building a Christian home, I will look to you as head of our home as I have looked to Christ as Head of the Church. I will love you in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in sorrow as in joy, and will be true to you by God’s grace, trusting in Him, so long as we both shall live.

Sample Thirteen (sample of personally written vows):

Male: ______, as we stand before both God and man making public our commitment to one another, I wish to make it known that I recognize God’s authority over my life which is exercised from His loving heart. He has chosen me to be one of His own, and has since been my life. I recognize also that He has blessed me, and entrusted to me your life as an unearned gift. In recognition of these things, I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife. I purpose to love you with His love, to provide for your needs through His enablement, and to lead you as He leads me, as long as He gives me life, regardless of circumstances. ______, I look forward to establishing a home where Christ is glorified. Toward that end I promise to allow God to use you in my life as He sees best in building me into His person. I thank Him for your love and friendship.

Female: I ______, take you, ______, to be my husband. With the greatest joy I come into my new life with you. Today I am reminded of James 1:17 which says, “Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” Besides the gift of salvation, you are the most precious gift God has given me. I know that along with the new joys God has given me, I face new responsibilities that I cannot fulfill in my own strength. But by God’s grace and power working within me, I desire to be trustworthy as your wife, to serve and love you in all circumstances, to obey you, to allow God to use you to build His qualities in me, as long as God give us life on this earth. I praise God continually for you, ______, and for your love and friendship.

The goal of this ministry is to use the power of the Internet to provide people and ministries worldwide with universal access to the NET Bible and other Bible Study resources. To provide better tools and opportunities for people around the world to know Christ and have a greater impact for Christ on their world by: developing a freely available modern translation of the Bible which shows the transcribers notes and why they chose the wording they did as they transcribed from the best available Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek texts, providing on-line Bible studies that help Christians mature in their faith and become active and more effective in ministry, giving their time and talents to serve others.