The following are Web Site links and descriptions to resources on the subject of communication and conflict. We pray you will find them helpful for your marriage.

• www.family.org This is the web site for the great ministry of Focus on the Family. One of the many features of this web site can be found when you place your cursor over the top bar that says “Relationship and Marriage.” A drop-down box will show up and you can select “Communication/Conflict” to read a number of articles.

• www.marriagepartnership.com. Marriage Partnership Magazine is an American-based magazine dedicated to strengthening your marriage which helps you get a better picture of how to work together as a team. This EXCELLENT resource focuses on a variety of vital marital issues like communication, money, forgiveness, sex, and your spiritual life together. It’s written for both husbands and wives, comes out quarterly, and is published by Christianity Today International. We HIGHLY recommend it to all who can obtain it. They also have a free newsletter which you can sign up for at their very helpful web site. (You’ll need to have access to the internet in order to read the articles featured in this newsletter.) We subscribe to both the magazine and the newsletter and have found them to be very helpful to our own marriage and also in ministering to others who are married.

• www.realrelationships.com This is the web site for Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott who are a husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University — a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships. Their web site has free videos that you can view on your computer which gives relationship advice on many different subjects including communication, which you will deal with in your married lives together. We highly advise that you visit their web site to see what they can offer you

• troubledwith.com This is a web site which is put together by the ministry of Focus on the Family. It has many different sections that are helpful for marriage including “Communication Gaps.”

RESOURCE DESCRIPTIONS:

• A LASTING PROMISE…A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage, by Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain, and Milt Bryan, published by Jossey-Bass Publishers www.josseybass.com. This book gives many powerful and practical principles which are solidly based on Scripture with a blending of university research as to what leads to marriages that fail and what leads to marriages that thrive. Also, A Lasting Promise is focused on practical action. Unlike many books that are more theoretical or insight-oriented, this one is designed to provide a rich resource of the many thigns you can do to protect your marriage and make it better. Not only that but the things they encourage you to do have been shown in research, to make a difference for many couples. They give solid tools you can use to make your marriage stronger, happier, and lifelong to equip you to develop the full promise of your marriage. Buy this book now.

• CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? -by Dallas and Nancy Demmitt, published by Cook Communications Ministries. This is a very practical and inspiring book which gives the reader a different slant on communicating with their spouse. They draw from over 30 years of working with individuals and groups, plus searching for ways to build communication bridges within their own marriage. As they say, “Our search for answers sent us to draw upon our faith in God. And through the years we began to see that human beings— ourselves included —need a mind-change before the heart-change and behavior-change can occur. Ultimately, in the lab of our counseling practice and our own marriage, God showed us the liberating truths about the gift of listening that are contained in this book.” We highly recommend it! Buy this book now.

• CREATIVE CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR COUPLES -by Robert and Pamela Crosby, published by Focus on the Family. This small book contains varying questions to ask for those longing for more intimate conversations. The questions included range from light-hearted and friendly topics to intimate, more personal subjects that will help you establish a lifetime of effective communication. You’ll be amazed how these powerful techniques can impact the interaction in your marriage.

• FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate -by Dr Gary Chapman, published by Northfield Publishing. This outstanding book will help you to express your love to your spouse in a way that he/she understands. In this new edition, you’ll also find a couple’s guide to help you work as a team. You’ll find that before you know it, you’ll learn to speak and understand the unique languages of love and effectively express your love as well as feel truly loved in return. Buy this book now.

• HELPING YOU START AGAIN: Pre-Remarriage Questions -by Bobb and Cheryl Biehl, published by Broadman & Holman Publishers. This book addresses the subject, “if remarriage is the answer, what are the questions?” Using the experience of their many years of marriage, Bobb and Cheryl Biehl have created over 200 questions divorced people want and need to ask each other before they remarry, but often skip because they’re self-conscious or embarrassed. This book also offers a step-by-step method for resolving disagreements before they threaten your relationship.

• KEEPING YOUR MARRIAGE HEALTHY AND SIZZLING: Anniversary Questions -by Bobb and Cheryl Biehl, published by Broadman & Holman Publishers. This book gives you and your spouse over 200 fresh questions to discuss, plus a step-by-step method for resolving disagreements before they threaten your relationship. Buy this book now.

• LOVE and RESPECT - By Dr Emerson Eggerichs, a Focus on the Family Book, published by Integrity Publishers, www.integritypublishers.com. This is a marriage book that makes a difference! It delivers a revolutionary message. People are saying about this book: “I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught.” — “This is the key that I have been missing.” — “It caused a light bulb moment for me.” — “You connected all the dots for me.” — “As a counselor, I’ve never been so excited about any material.” — “You’re on to something huge here.”

Discover the single greatest secret to a successful marriage: “Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.”

The book, “Love and Respect” delivers a simple message: A wife has one driving need — to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need - to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. “Love and Respect” reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the “Love and Respect” message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some “Love and Respect.” Buy this book now.

• MAKING THE MOST OF YOUR HONEYMOON YEAR -by Bobb and Cheryl Biehl, published by Broadman and Holman Publishers. This book contains over 200 questions on Financial, Marriage and Family, Personal Growth, Physical, Professional, Social, and Spiritual issues to clarify, deepen and strengthen your first year of marriage. These questions help you start heart to heart conversations that uncover differing assumptions which might otherwise become emotional land mines, exploding unexpectedly and causing major damage to a relationship.

• MONEY TALKS AND SO CAN WE -by Ron and Judy Blue with Jodie Berndt, published by Zondervan Publishing House www.zondervan.com. This book will help you and your spouse talk openly and honestly about the vital topic of managing your money. It will show you and your spouse how to operate as a team, overcoming your individual weaknesses and uniting your strengths to cultivate vision and prosperity in your marriage. You’ll learn how to bridge the financial communication gap you may be experiencing, learn how to put together a truly enjoyable planning weekend, combine your efforts to handle the basics of developing a budget, getting out of debt, invest wisely, create a will, look at the pros and cons of a dual-income household and learn the challenges and rewards of giving, and more.

• NOW WE’RE TALKING: Questions to Build Intimacy with Your Spouse -by Robert and Pamela Crosby, published by Focus on the Family. This small book is full of great questions that invite you and your spouse to open up and draw closer to each other.

• STAYING CONNECTED IN YOUR MARRIAGE: Daily Reflections and Dialogue -by Al Francis Lacki, published by Uplift Enterprises upliftpub@yahoo.com. This book has short daily readings designed to be used in a quiet time together to provoke thought and help you learn more about yourself and each other. Buy this book now.

• THE MARRIAGE TRACK: How to Keep Your Relationship Headed in the Right Direction -by Dave and Claudia Arp, published by Thomas Nelson Publishers www.thomasnelson.com. “What a pleasure to read! The Marriage Track gives us the biblical principles and creative ideas we need for building a strong Christian marriage team and a legacy of a positive marriage track for our offspring and their spouses to follow” (Dr Paul Meier). And we couldn’t agree more! This book has so much wisdom packed into it-helping couples to re-connect and stay connected-keeping on track with each other, as marriage is created to do. It’s a kind of do-it-yourself review that has a lot of practical tools and guidelines that can help you to build a stronger future together.

• THE MARRIAGE YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED: How to Grow a Stronger, More Intimate Relationship -by Dr. Tim and Julie Clinton, published by Word Publishing. This workbook is an interactive couple’s guide which will help heal your hurts and construct a nurturing marriage. It applies the author’s years of experience in marriage counseling to help you recognize the warning signs and process of emotional distancing —helping you to break patterns that have taken root. Each chapter contains a topic for discussion, a Bible study, and optional activities. Buy this book now.

• THE OTHER SIDE OF LOVE: Handling Anger in a Godly Way -by Gary Chapman, published by Moody Publishers www.moodypublishers.com. In this book, Dr Chapman teaches how you can process anger in a constructive, godly manner. Learn how you can: “Know the difference between valid anger and distorted anger; take steps to direct your anger into loving responses; deal with inward, ‘implosive’ anger; evaluate your reactions; understand the source of your anger—and guide it toward productive purposes; use anger to correct social injustice; teach your children to handle anger appropriately, and interact wisely with an irate person. This book is filled with insights and techniques that have helped hundreds of individuals and families to find a better way to deal with anger and includes study questions ideal for use by individuals or groups. Buy this book now.

• THE ULTIMATE MARRIAGE BUILDER: A Do-It-Yourself Encounter Weekend for You and Your Mate -by Dave and Claudia Arp, published by Thomas Nelson Publishers www.thomasnelson.com. This book contains “a wealth of ideas, practical suggestions and inspiration for couples who care about their marriage and want to make it stronger, deeper and more fulfilling.” In this book, Dave and Claudia show you how to plan and implement your own personal encounter weekend. Once there, you can enrich your marriage with the host of fun and practical exercises the Arp’s provide. You’ll have the opportunity to gain a better understanding of each other, improve your communication, deal with real issues, and reaffirm your love and commitment to one another.

• 201 GREAT QUESTIONS -Compiled by Jerry Jones, published by NavPress www.navpress.com. Whether you’re traveling with family, eating lunch with a friend, or getting together with a small group this book is one you’ll want. You’ll have the time of your life learning more about people you thought you knew—particularly your spouse. Buy this book now.

• WE NEED TO TALK: Opening Doors of Communications with your Mate -by Robert and Rosemary Barnes, published by Zondervan Publishing House www.zondervan.com. This easy-to-read book is a hands-on, “how-to” resource for couples at all stages of marriage. It has helpful summaries and questions at the end of each chapter to encourage open and honest sharing and provide practical ways for you to: Reduce misunderstandings and defensiveness; set aside time for meaningful conversation; get through to a clammed-up “shellfish,” a prickly “porcupine,” an elusive “prairie dog,” or a vegged-out “couch potato.” It also helps you to talk frankly about sensitive subjects—including sex and rebuild communication after a serious rift. Buy this book now.

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