Have you ever sat in a restaurant and noticed a young couple sitting together talking, and talking, and talking? And then you notice that you and your spouse can’t think of anything to talk about together except for the events of what the children did that day?
Do you need a “jump-start” as to some things you can discuss together that doesn’t involve the children or problems? Would you like some things to discuss that will put a positive spin on your time together so you feel more connected?
There are different communication starter resources out there that can help you with that. Actually my husband Steve and I have used some of these tools and have agreed that some of our nicest conversation times have been when we’ve used these kinds of tools. Not all of us are as creative in thinking about different things to talk about (other than talking about the children and work and problems).
So, with that said, we want to provide a link to an article that will help you with conversation starters. You won’t (and shouldn’t) try to ask all of the questions at one sitting unless you want to have a marathon talking time together (which most couples wouldn’t enjoy). You can make a time to be together and agree to ask 3 or so questions to each other and save the rest for other times.
Don’t think about them as “questions” as if you were taking a test or something, but rather a discovery and connection time together. Even if you’ve been married 40 years or so, you’ll be amazed at some of the things you’ll find out about each other.
For the list of questions, click onto the link below (you may even want to make a copy of them so you can have them for the next several times you spend this kind of time together):
When you’re done reading the above article:
You can then arrow back to our web site to:
• read another article
• or you may want to leave a comment
that could help others
in the space provided at the bottom of this page.
EMAIL | SHARE | PRINT
Print This Page (printer-friendly)
and do your online shopping. 
(USA) I want to save my marriage. I need help!!!!!!!
(MALAYSIA) I find your article is so interesting…will definitely give it a try
Well.. been married for more than a decade and this proves to be fun.
(CANADA) My marriage is about to end. I am not sure how to communicate with my husband and he gets very upset when all I do is ask questions when trying to start a conversation. HELP ME
(USA) Hello Terri, Your marriage does not have to end; don’t despair. Communication is one of the biggest differences between men and women. This shows especially in marriage where you are partners and have to talk inorder to make decisions, plan events and most importantly companionship. Sometimes the problems we have are merely differences and we should be able to distinguish these from actual problems.
I don’t know how far you have gone in the marriage and you are probably still learning about his personality. I had troubles at first because I didn’t know my husband was generally the quiet type. I would think he didn’t like talking to me or was angry at something. Now i know more and welcome him the few times he feels like talking. With him, I can distinguish between “quiet & angry” and “quiet & good”. I avoid conversing when it looks bad and only stick to necessary talk. When he is in a good mood, i do the talking and appreciate whatever responses he has, be it nods , “mmmmm” or smiles. But sometimes we actually have good laughs when there is news to share.
Does he have special tv programs he likes? Watching them together will bring up good conversation starters in an atmosphere he is comfortable with. This is different from “lets talk” which seems forced.
Hope you understand that eating dinner together, doing his favourite activities, looking at photo albums, praying together and all other efforts to work towards unity count as credits to the build up of good communication. We should genuinely seek to understand our spouses by taking advantage of whatever opportunities we get as few or little as they may be. The problems come when we are impatient and our efforts seem hurried/forced and we look panicky.
I would advise you to hang in there and put your worries in prayer. God is always there to listen. He will work wonders in ways we can’t imagine. In the mean time, your actions speak louder than words. Let your husband enjoy your acts of love and understanding as unto the Lord. Even the peace in your heart will be a reward fom God.