The following are Web Site Links and descriptions for various resources for those of you who are looking for communication tools. We pray they will be of help to your marital relationship.

• www.family.org This is the web site for the great ministry of Focus on the Family. One of the many features of this web site can be found when you place your cursor over the top bar that says “Relationship and Marriage.” A drop-down box will show up and you can select a topic which will give you a number of articles to read. You can also select “Communication/Conflict.”

• Feeling Words Are you experiencing an emotion that you want to describe to your spouse but you don’t know the right word to describe it? This link provides a long list of words, composed by Steve Hein, which you can use for this purpose. Through this link, Steve also provides a way for you to purchase a more extensive list if that is what you need. Plus there is a list of “Common Negative Feelings “ that you can read through, to help you to better express yourself.

• www.iquestions.com The goal at iQuestions is to gather the “best and brightest experts, authors, and teachers under one roof to share their years of experience with you.” These iQuestions Faculty, deal with topics ranging from marriage and parenting to money and career. They do this through videos that they present on their web site for you to watch and listen to on the subject you select. To see/hear what they have on in-law concerns, select “Marriage and Relationships” and in their drop-down box select “Communication.”

• www.realrelationships.com This is the web site for Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott who are a husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. The Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University — a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships. Their web site has free videos that you can view on your computer which gives relationship advice on many different subjects you will deal with in your married lives together including “Communication” and also “Conflict Resolution” as well as a drop down box on the top bar of their home page which has “Assessments” that you can use with their resources. We highly advise that you visit their web site to see what they can offer you.

• www.smalleyonline.com This is the ministry web site for Gary Smalley who is the president and founder of the Smalley Relationship Center. This center provides conferences nation-wide, books, DVD. They have many great communication tools on their web site. If you go into the “Articles” section from their Home page and click into “Marriage” and then into “Communication” you will find a long list of different tools and articles that you can select from.

• RETROUVAILLE (meaning, “rediscovery” and rhymes with pie), www.retrouvaille.org. This is a program for couples with serious problems who are disillusioned, separated and/or on the brink of divorce. You’ll be helped by volunteer couples who have also “been to the brink” — who have experienced serious problems including affairs, alcoholism, gambling, violence, etc. or who have simply fallen out of love— but who have worked their way back. They’ll teach you how to fall back in love again and heal your own marriage and make it stronger than ever before. This successful program (85% when both partners work at it) teaches simple techniques of communication and exercises to work on forgiveness, healing, and restoration of trust.

The program begins with a weekend and includes 12 follow-up meetings over 3 months. These are not spiritual retreats, sensitivity groups, seminars or social gatherings — there are no counselors involved and you don’t have to say anything in front of anyone else. Couples discuss the topics and practice the skills in private. It has a blank envelope-donation system and is open to couples of all faiths and to the non-religious. They also have an international division which gives sessions in different countries such as Canada and South Africa, etc.

RESOURCE DESCRIPTIONS:

• CRACKING THE COMMUNICATION CODE -by Emerson Eggerichs, published by Thomas Nelson Publishing. This book is founded on the principle that communication between couples has been dissected in thousands of books and articles, and yet why does it remain the number one marriage problem? “Because,” says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, “most spouses don’t know that they speak two different languages. They are sending each other messages in ‘code,’ but they won’t crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect.” Dr. Eggerichs’ best-selling book, Love and Respect, launched a revolution in how couples relate to each other based on Ephesians 5:33: “The husband must love his wife . . . and the wife must respect her husband.” In Cracking the Communication Code he shows couples how to speak each other’s distinctly different language-respect for him, love for her. The result is mutual understanding and a successful, godly marriage. Buy this book now.

• CREATIVE CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR COUPLES -by Robert and Pamela Crosby, published by Focus on the Family. This small book contains varying questions to ask for those longing for more intimate conversations. The questions included range from light-hearted and friendly topics to intimate, more personal subjects that will help you establish a lifetime of effective communication. You’ll be amazed how these powerful techniques can impact the interaction in your marriage.

• FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate -by Dr Gary Chapman, published by Northfield Publishing. This outstanding book will help you to express your love to your spouse in a way that he/she understands. In this new edition, you’ll also find a couple’s guide to help you work as a team. You’ll find that before you know it, you’ll learn to speak and understand the unique languages of love and effectively express your love as well as feel truly loved in return. Buy this book now.

• LOVE LIST -by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan. This book contains 8 simple but very powerful usable hands-on principles to help you transform your marriage into the best it can be. It includes an insert with peel-off, his-and-hers “Clings” listing the eight items of The Love List to help you to live out the principles every day. As Les and Leslie say, “A few small actions—practiced on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis—can change everything for a couple. Little, deliberate behaviors quietly lavish love on a marriage.” Buy this book now.

• LOVE TALK: Speak Each Other’s Language Like You Never Have Before – by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan. This book aims at helping you converse and communicate with each other. Couples consistently name “improved communication” as the greatest need in their relationships. Love Talk is a deep, yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships. Plus it includes “The Love Talk Indicator” which is a free personalized online assessment (this is a $30 value). Buy this book now.

• LOVE TALK STARTERS: 275 Questions to Get Your Conversations Going -by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott. This little book is exactly what you expect. It has 275 questions for couples to use to spend getting to know each other better and to sharpen their communication skills. Buy this book now.

• LOVE TALK WORKBOOK FOR MEN: Speak Each Other’s Language Like You Never Have Before -by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan. This is the perfect companion resource to work through issues that are explained in the book “Love Talk.” Love Talk is a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships. This workbook for men is full of lively exercises and enlightening self-tests that help you apply what you are learning about communication directly to your relationship. Buy this book now.

• LOVE TALK WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN: Speak Each Other’s Language Like You Never Have Before -by Dr Les and Dr Leslie Parrott, published by Zondervan. This is the perfect companion resource to work through issues that are explained in the book “Love Talk.”Love Talk is a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships. This workbook for women is full of lively exercises and enlightening self-tests that help you apply what you are learning about communication directly to your relationship. Buy this book now.

• NOW WE’RE TALKING: Questions to Build Intimacy with Your Spouse -by Robert and Pamela Crosby, published by Focus on the Family. This small book is full of great questions that invite you and your spouse to open up and draw closer to each other.

• THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES OF APOLOGY -by Gary Chapman, published by Northfield Publishing. In this book Dr Chapman teams up with psychologist Jennifer Thomas to dissect this difficult subject. The basic premise for this book is “that we don’t all agree on what constitutes a sincere apology.” That’s why so many apologies aren’t accepted. The authors emphasize that “you need to learn the ‘language’ of the person you are apologizing to: for one person, it may be expressing regret, while for another it’s accepting responsibility or making restitution.” This book helps you to see a fuller picture of the importance of knowing HOW to apologize to the other person so they understand fully how sorry you are. It’s not as simple as apologizing — it’s also knowing what the other person needs from you to know and accept your sincerity. Buy this book now.

• THE ULTIMATE MARRIAGE BUILDER: A Do-It-Yourself Encounter Weekend for You and Your Mate -by Dave and Claudia Arp, published by Thomas Nelson Publishers www.thomasnelson.com. This book contains “a wealth of ideas, practical suggestions and inspiration for couples who care about their marriage and want to make it stronger, deeper and more fulfilling.” In this book, Dave and Claudia show you how to plan and implement your own personal encounter weekend. Once there, you can enrich your marriage with the host of fun and practical exercises the Arp’s provide. You’ll have the opportunity to gain a better understanding of each other, improve your communication, deal with real issues, and reaffirm your love and commitment to one another.

• 201 GREAT QUESTIONS -Compiled by Jerry Jones, published by NavPress www.navpress.com. Whether you’re traveling with family, eating lunch with a friend, or getting together with a small group this book is one you’ll want. You’ll have the time of your life learning more about people you thought you knew—particularly your spouse.

• WE NEED TO TALK: Opening Doors of Communications with your Mate -by Robert and Rosemary Barnes, published by Zondervan Publishing House www.zondervan.com. This easy-to-read book is a hands-on, “how-to” resource for couples at all stages of marriage. It has helpful summaries and questions at the end of each chapter to encourage open and honest sharing and provide practical ways for you to: Reduce misunderstandings and defensiveness; set aside time for meaningful conversation; get through to a clammed-up “shellfish,” a prickly “porcupine,” an elusive “prairie dog,” or a vegged-out “couch potato.” It also helps you to talk frankly about sensitive subjects—including sex and rebuild communication after a serious rift. Buy this book now.