I am a Christian and currently separated from my wife of 12 years. I am an abusive husband, usually verbally. Over the years I have had anger issues that stem from some serious issues from my childhood and I’ve been seeking counseling and group therapy, which has been helpful.

God is in the business of healing marriages and people – including your abusive husband. He has to be open, of course. One book you might want to get is "the verbally abusive relationship" by Patricia Evans. I believe she writes books about physical as well. Anyway, as the abuser I read this and it opened my eyes. I also read "Every Man’s Marriage" by Stephen Arterburn and it’s changing my life and the way I look at my role and my wife’s role in the marriage. LIFE-CHANGING, GODLY STUFF.

Anyway, I pray you’ll both find healing. Most abusive people are really loving but really deeply hurt inside and need help. He needs to identify what is causing him so much pain and why he feels so inadequate (that’s how abusers feel – I know, I am one). Call your pastor and work out specifics that each of you are going to be doing during this time of separation. God bless.