Within the past two weeks, we’ve learned of two more Christian couples that have separated and are getting a divorce. Our hearts are breaking for how this must grieve the heart of God. These are wonderful God-loving, intelligent couples where one partner has decided to end the marriage, reneging on their covenantal vows.

What’s happening to us as a society? And more importantly, what’s happening to us as Believers in Jesus Christ? We seem to be walking the same execution line towards the death of our marital relationships as those who don’t profess faith in Christ. What makes us any different from “those who are in the world”? Is this how we glorify God through our lives?

Our understanding of what we’re to be as followers of Christ is that we’re to “be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children” to “live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2). By tearing apart our covenantal marital relationships and breaking our promises to Him and to one another, is this how we imitate God and give of ourselves as a sacrifice for Him?

How can we say we’re followers of Christ when we don’t do as we promise? We’re told in the Bible to be, “like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:2-8)

By divorcing, is our attitude the same as Christ? Is this what Christ would do? He did everything for the glory of God. Is breaking our promises to one another and divorcing each other to the glory of God? What picture are we giving to the world to see of the sacrificial love of God for His bride?

Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another” (John 13: 34 -35). What love are we demonstrating to the world if the divorce rate within the church is even higher than the divorce rate among those who don’t have a personal relationship with Him?

We need to take it seriously that our lives are a letter written by God for the world to read—a visible picture of the love of Christ for His Church. We are living testimonies to all who are within our sphere of influence. As it says in the Word of God, “You show that you are a letter from Christ, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts” (2 Corinthians 3:3).

God has entrusted to us the privilege and responsibility to be His “living letters.” A Christian marriage is commissioned by God to be a “visible picture”—a living example to the world, of the covenant God has with His people—of Christ’s love and relationship to His bride, the Church. The Bible repeatedly refers to Christ as the Groom and the Church as His bride.

So when we divorce, what does this say to the world of God’s promises to the Church of His love, faithfulness and devotion for them? And what example—what message are we giving out to others of the “transforming power” that God can perform in their lives and marriages, when we, ourselves, don’t even utilize that power? It’s a sad testimony, when our marriages are weak and unhealthy, not to mention all the divorcing that’s going on!

“When all is said and done, a truly Christian home is by far the most powerful and persuasive evangelistic agency on earth. Without ever passing out a tract, preaching a sermon, or even saying a word, a Spirit-filled Christian home declares to all who come within reach that God will do for others what He’s done for them, if they’ll only give Him a chance” (John Lavender).

This should be a wake-up call that the way we should approach each other is with an attitude that is on our knees in prayer for the glory of God!

We hope all that’s been said doesn’t sound like we’re throwing stones because we don’t intend for it to be. It’s intended to be a wake-up call to those of us who profess Christ. The ministry of Marriage Missions came into being because God put it upon our hearts to spend our lives encouraging other Christians to apply the principles of loving (that we see throughout the Bible), to our marriages.

It’s our “mission” to help Christians see that marriage is at the heart of God’s message to the Church. And when we destroy our marriages we deeply grieve God and tear apart the picture of His love for those He wants to extend His loving arms to.

It’s our deepest prayer that you’ll join us in this mission to build up and encourage each other in our marriages so we reflect the love of God to a world that so desperately needs Him. Find a marriage study series (whether CDs, DVDs, or books) and have some others join you to walk through the series together to make all of your marriages stronger. Then decide later if you want to go continue on or take a break and go through another series at another time or whatever God leads for you to do. You can meet once a week, every other week, once a month or whatever you decide. The important thing is that you’re taking pro-active steps to help your marriages become stronger and less vulnerable to destruction.

There are so many great study “helps” available to us. We just finished a video series with a small group called ” Secrets to Lasting Love” by Gary Smalley. It was wonderful and it didn’t require for us to teach, just watch and discuss. This month we’re starting another study which is in work book form called: Marriage: Building Real Intimacy by Bill Hybels. It’s a great series that again won’t require great teaching on our part, just a willingness to learn together.

Opening your home to other couples doesn’t mean you have to “have all the answers” or become “marriage counselors.” All it means is that you see the value in investing time in your marriage and you’re inviting other couples to join you and do the same.

You also don’t have to be a gifted teacher, or have a perfect marriage to open your home to do this. That’s not what it’s all about. It’s recognizing that none of us “has it all together” in our marriages. There’s always room for improvement, no matter what! We can always raise the level of satisfaction in our relationships as husbands and wives. And by doing so, we’re not only helping our own relationship, we’re also pleasing the heart of God.

As we’re told: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers” (Galatians 6:9-10).

God doesn’t just want our sacrifice. He wants our obedience. (See: 1 Samuel 15:22, Psalm 51:16-17, and Proverbs 21:3) Staying in a marriage where there’s no love and devotion is a sacrifice, but staying and loving with your whole being is obedience! We pray you’ll join us to work together to make our marriages the best they can be by staying in your marriage and loving with your whole being, demonstrating the love of Christ, not only to your spouse, but to everyone who is a witness to your life!

If you feel God may be calling you to open your home to other couples and strengthen marriages, you can contact us and we can provide other suggestions for material and ideas that can make it both fun and rewarding. Please pray about what God would have you do to make marriage a “mission.”

Because of Christ,
Steve and Cindy Wright

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