My husband was very understanding for most of the time. But now that surgery has corrected the pain and my doctors have realized it wasn’t all just ‘in my head’ and I am coming out of the depression, getting back on top of housework in a house that is unfinished inside … is a major frustration. On top of all that, I now feel like my husband is punishing me for having ‘neglected’ so much of what I was supposed to be doing during that time. It is very unlike him, but if I am having a disagreement with my daughter or she has a meltdown over something, and I try to correct her, he will look at me and say “well you do the same thing!”

I find we cannot talk about ANYTHING except very shallow issues, without bickering, and I find it’s far easier just to stay out of his way. But is this typical for a spouse to do very well in caring for the other during the time of stress and then punish them afterward? I cannot figure out what is going on in his head. If I try to talk to him, he on the one hand, verbally he blames himself for not being the spiritual leader he should be, and on the other hand his attitude seems to say it’s my fault. To compound the matter, we have talked so many times about things that need doing, even ordinary everyday things, he has said he will do, and then doesn’t do. He’s apologized for so many things that never change, that I have lost confidence that his word actually means what it says. In that case, what is the point of communication if you can’t trust that your mate actually means (or at least that they care enough to follow through with) what they say? It’s not a deliberate attempt to deceive, it’s just that there’s NOT a deliberate attempt to make one’s actions match up with the words. He seems to have every intention to do what he should, but then something else always comes up, or he forgets, or…?

Just like with Diabetes medication and anti-seizure medication, and antibiotics and such, your body may need help to work in the way it’s supposed to. I believe these medications and therapies are being discovered because God is working through the medical field to give wisdom to scientists to help us. Sometimes God heals directly and sometimes He works through someone else (like a minister or a doctor, etc) to help us get to a better state of health, physically and emotionally.

Depression can cause us to do all kinds of things we wouldn’t consider otherwise and can greatly affect us and those around us if it’s not properly dealt with. Pray, seek, and knock on the right doors to reach for good health. If it takes anti-depressants to get there, then so be it.

I think you are wise in exploring those possibilities. I pray the Lord guides you and helps you in this mission to overcome your depression.

During 1 counseling session my husband and I went to, after my affair came to light, we mentioned to the pastor that we think I might be suffering of depression. Now I don’t want to go too deep into this, but this pastor prayed for me and this depression in form as a demon. He did say that he felt after praying and rebuking this demon that it is not severe. He did break this bondage in the name of Jesus.

But having reading up on depression, it comes across that depression might be a chronic thing and with the help of anti-depressants can perhaps be overcome or should I say just make things easier for me and my husband. Although I believe with God all things are possible, even for Him to remove my depression without any help or medication, I still wonder if there is not more to it. But my husband is worried that the medication will only help with the symptoms and not get to the root of the problem –> what is causing or what has caused my depression, which is probably true.

But if medication would help me to not be constantly depressed, which will also save my marriage at this stage, then I am really considering this option.

I am at a loss. Now that I have had some distance from the situation, the Lord has revealed to me that this is something that has been going on with him for a long time. It is only now that I realize in retrospect that he would often disappear to deal with his issues and sink into “moods.” I never put it together before… and it has never been as bad or for as long as it has been now.

I pray for him often… that the Lord will heal him from this depression (because, I am almost certain that that is what it is). I am also waiting on the Lord… so that He can tell me what I should do. But, I am afraid… I feel like I have lost my best friend… and although every day gets easier and I can feel the Lord with me, I miss him so much. I just want him back. I’m waiting… but, it is so hard.

When I was reading the message on depression I was most inspired with the advice on addressing the problems as they arise. My husband and I had been waiting upon God and had not taken the routes proposed by various peers or relatives. But as of late, it has been him now giving me pressure. Trying to talk to him and confide in him has proven less fruitful. He was actually asking me whether it was urgent or not as he watched a soccer match. I was restless about it. More-so, thinking of how much it will cost to seek medical help versus praying and waiting on God, I was left in a restless state.

I pray that because there is a name which is above all names, there is a power which is above all kingdoms to help me get over this depression and will make known to those that do not know him, that he is the author and finisher of our lives.

I will start to work on addressing the pending issues with myself first. My husband and I agree on what is needed to be done. Thanks for the message.

When my younger brother died less than two years ago, I discovered the depths of his struggle with his manic depression. During that time it became evident that my mother also suffered from this. Although my psychologist has told me that I am not manic depressive, growing up in an environment with all this around you certainly does contribute to how you view life and yourself. It is a daily struggle. My husband and I have now separated because as he said ‘you cannot be a wife to me’. Of course, this alienation does not help how I feel. Any suggestions? Margaret