Man was made from the ground, so he focuses more on nature.
Woman was made from man,
which makes her more human relationship-oriented. (Anonymous)

We came upon the above quote and found it interesting in how it can relate to marriage. We hope it will promote discussion between you as it did for us. We’ll be addressing this marriage message from different angle on this subject as we each saw it from a different perspective.

Comments from Cindy: I’m not sure the above statement is entirely true of all couples, but I do see it as having validity in many relationships including ours. With us, Steve and our sons seem to be more “earthy” in nature. It seems easier for Steve to get caught up in that which is outside of the home and outside of human relationships.

It has taken me a long time NOT to take this personally, and to realize that God designed us with different personality approaches to life. I also know that God gave us to each other to balance each other. Steve helps me to take things a little easier and a little less serious in the way of human relationships and to “smell the roses” and enjoy everyday living more.

I help him to be more aware of differing approaches in relating to those people that God brings into his life. I help him to see aspects of human temperaments and behavior in ways that he might not even think of, given his natural approach to life.

Steve and I are both changing in the ways that we approach these aspects of every day living, but it’s taking time, patience, compromise, and mostly—a willingness to listen to God’s leading.

Comments from Steve: Something I learned that has helped me tremendously in our marriage is to not use the age old excuse, “That’s the way I am —you’ll just have to accept me.”

It’s true that men and women do seem to be “wired” differently. Over the years God has shown me how wonderful it is that Cindy’s focus on life and relationships IS different from mine. That’s part of the wonderful gift God gave to Cindy (and most women). Once I accepted this as a “strength” in our relationship, I also saw it as a part of God’s gift to me in my wife.

Men, if we’re going to truly demonstrate how much we value the differences there are between us and our wives, what better way to show your wife how much you love her, than by taking some time this week to examine your strengths (differences), then T.A.L.K.

• T… hank God for those strengths He’s given her…
• A… sk God to show you how you can encourage her to use those strengths in your marriage…
• L… earn by becoming a “student” of your wife. The better I get to know Cindy, the more I love her…
• K… iss and embrace your wife and tell her no matter how differently you may see things you’ll always love and be committed to her and her alone. (I especially like doing the “K” part.)

Our prayer for you this week is that you’ll learn to embrace the differences in your personalities, seeing them as gifts that can benefit your life together. We also hope that you’ll sit down and discuss together some of those differences, and ask God to help you to lovingly “complete” each other rather than “compete and struggle” with each other. We pray for God’s richest blessings to be upon you and your marriage as you strive to live for Him.

We also pray these messages have been and will be a blessing and a help to you each week. Please feel free to copy and pass these on to whomever you think may benefit from them. Our prayer is that we’ll be “pro-active” in our marriages rather than just “re-active.”

By working to make our marriages stronger, we’re not only reaping the benefit in our own marital relationships and family life, we’re also taking a stand in showing the world that as Believers in Christ, we’re promise keepers as God wants us to be (to love, honor, and cherish for as long as we live). In doing so, our married lives can be living testimonies to the world that if God, whose very name means love, can work in our imperfect lives to effect positive changes, He can do the same for others who are watching the testimonies of our lives.

Cindy and I really appreciate your prayers, your comments, and your commitment to marriage. Have a blessed week!

Steve and Cindy Wright

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