Comments on: Did I Marry Her Family? http://www.marriagemissions.com/did-i-marry-her-family/ a Christian Marriage Website Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:47:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Kelly http://www.marriagemissions.com/did-i-marry-her-family/comment-page-1/#comment-4536 Kelly Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:15:04 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/did-i-marry-her-family/#comment-4536 (UNITED STATES)  I am suffering this exact situation against my in-laws. My in-laws are exuberant retirees with a zest for life, and a generous bank account with which they bribe their struggling children and grandchildren. My husband is one of three children. One of three children, who all past the age of 40, still open-handedly receive handouts from his parents, in the form of lavish vacations, weekly parties, ski trips, cruises, mortgage payments, you name it. None of their children adhere to "Leave and cleave". Prior to marriage with my husband, I was able to beautifully juggle an ascending career with all of their time demands. I was able to attend all birthday parties, weekly time demands, etc. After the marriage, it became challenging. After the birth of our first baby, a dauntingly impossible task. Nevertheless, I faithfully and still tried to attend 1 or 2 family functions every month. When I respectfully opt out of these family functions, I get a stern phone call from his father, who says to me, "You married not just your husband but his FAMILY. You have to stop being selfish and attend to what your husband needs." They refuse to give our marriage room to grow as individuals. They continue to haunt us. We need guidance. (UNITED STATES)  I am suffering this exact situation against my in-laws. My in-laws are exuberant retirees with a zest for life, and a generous bank account with which they bribe their struggling children and grandchildren. My husband is one of three children. One of three children, who all past the age of 40, still open-handedly receive handouts from his parents, in the form of lavish vacations, weekly parties, ski trips, cruises, mortgage payments, you name it. None of their children adhere to “Leave and cleave”.

Prior to marriage with my husband, I was able to beautifully juggle an ascending career with all of their time demands. I was able to attend all birthday parties, weekly time demands, etc. After the marriage, it became challenging. After the birth of our first baby, a dauntingly impossible task. Nevertheless, I faithfully and still tried to attend 1 or 2 family functions every month.

When I respectfully opt out of these family functions, I get a stern phone call from his father, who says to me, “You married not just your husband but his FAMILY. You have to stop being selfish and attend to what your husband needs.”

They refuse to give our marriage room to grow as individuals. They continue to haunt us. We need guidance.

]]> By: Ben http://www.marriagemissions.com/did-i-marry-her-family/comment-page-1/#comment-4220 Ben Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:05:35 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/did-i-marry-her-family/#comment-4220 (USA)  Just recently married I have been dealing with this very thing. My wife ignores nearly every thing I say in favor of suggestions from her family, even though in the long run those suggestions (more times than not) prove faulty, and because of this simple problems turn into big problems that could have been fix quickly if it hadn't been for their involvement. She sees me not as a secondary person in her life, but rather as a thirtieth. Cousins whom she barely knows, holds more sway in her life than I do. Her own pastor told her when we were preparing to marry that the family created from this union came first and before seeking external help every attempt should be made to fix any problems within the marriage. If we make plans to do something and later on she discovers her family has planned something for the same time she'll drop our plans, without consulting me, for whatever her family is doing... many a argument has erupted from this. I understand she wants to remain connected with her family, but to blatantly disregard OUR family and the union blessed by God bothers me and makes me wonder. (USA)  Just recently married I have been dealing with this very thing. My wife ignores nearly every thing I say in favor of suggestions from her family, even though in the long run those suggestions (more times than not) prove faulty, and because of this simple problems turn into big problems that could have been fix quickly if it hadn’t been for their involvement. She sees me not as a secondary person in her life, but rather as a thirtieth. Cousins whom she barely knows, holds more sway in her life than I do.

Her own pastor told her when we were preparing to marry that the family created from this union came first and before seeking external help every attempt should be made to fix any problems within the marriage.

If we make plans to do something and later on she discovers her family has planned something for the same time she’ll drop our plans, without consulting me, for whatever her family is doing… many a argument has erupted from this.

I understand she wants to remain connected with her family, but to blatantly disregard OUR family and the union blessed by God bothers me and makes me wonder.

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