First, it pushes me to do what is not right and then clouds me with a guilty conscience to the extent that I feel like I’m not worthy to be God’s child. I feel like God has forgiven me enough to keep on forgiving, especially when I keep repeating the same mistake. Talking to God will be so difficult and I end up not praying or saying a short prayer.

When my breakthroughs face a miscarriage I would think I deserve it because I have done something that is against God’s will. I would really feel like hiding out from everyone, even my own church. The enemy would steal God’s Word from my heart and I would forget all the lovely scriptures I confessed about the goodness of God. Though another voice will be telling me to keep on trusting and believing God for he has forgiven me, the enemy’s voice seem to be heavier. But I thank God today that he has talked to me. He has raised me up again and I am going forward, never to backslide again.
May God bless you Cindy.

I thank God through Jesus that He enfolds me with His loving arms of forgiveness and healing! Please pray for an annointing on my will to remain loyal, honest and just. He is my rest and leads me daily in the paths of righteousness! The freedom that He gives is a healing balm to my soul! Please pray for me continuously. I asked God to protect me from temptations in my thoughts, words and deeds! God bless and annoint your work!

I’ll get that book you recommended, for now I’m reading the POWER OF A POSITIVE WIFE which I found out from this site on one of the resources. I just started it and so far it’s good. What I need to learn and discipline myself is to really work on following the word of God coz my heart truly yearns for a better relationship with Him and I know it’s also good for my marriage. Thank you so much and for your prayers. God bless and I’ll update you as I go through this journey of truly being a woman of God.

But think about it… are you tired of your children when they earnestly come to you asking for the help that you told them you would give freely and willingly? And think about it… God isn’t just a bigger and better version of human-beings. He doesn’t tire like we do and the Bible tells us that He is patient and long-suffering with His children. Because He is God, He has an endless reserve of love and patience and willingness to help us in the ways that we need it. If we need chastisement, He will do that out of love as our Heavenly Father. If He is silent for a time, then we need to consider that there is a reason and we need to persevere in faith — trusting our Father’s heart.

If you feel “ashamed and guilty” because of God’s faithfulness, then ask God if those feelings are from Him or the enemy. We’re told in the Bible to “test the spirits” because the enemy of our faith is deceitful. He also comes disguised “as an angel of light” — which basically tells us that sometimes we think we’re dealing with God and we aren’t. It’s a “false light” that we’re dealing with. If we’re earnestly seeking God and we’ve confessed what we should and are repentant, and if we feel driven to hesitate from praying, then from what I read in the Bible, there is a false spirit at work from which we need to flee.

Anne, I don’t know what you have going on in your life, and to be honest, I don’t have to know. God knows. Go to Him always and without hesitation. He will not reject a willing heart.

As far as resources that I can recommend on this, there are so many. And hopefully, someone else will respond to your asking. For one resource that I would recommend, you’ll have to wait until the Marriage Message comes out on Saturday. (I will be posting it on the web site on the front page on Sunday.) It will be Marriage Message #24 (I’m swapping out the one that we currently have in that place and am writing “How Big is Your God — Marriage Message #24″). I’ve been working on this for a while. It will tell of some resources you can view and/or obtain on the Internet (ones that you can’t obtain through Marriage Missions). If you have questions afterward, ask at that time and I’ll do the best I can.

Also, I’m presently reading a book that came highly recommended to me. So far I’ve only read the Foreword… but it looks really good and it’s a “New York Times Bestseller” with over 2 million copies in print. It’s called “The Shack” by William Paul Young, published by Windblown Media. You can get it on Amazon.com. And if you go through the window on the front page of our web site, Amazon.com will give us a small percentage of the cost from their profit (which we use to help support the ministry of Marriage Missions). Anything you get by going through our web site on Amazon (whether it’s a book or whatever) they will give Marriage Missions a small percentage. But whether you do this or get the book elsewhere, the book looks good and I think I can recommend it without hesitation.

One of the reviews I read says it “will leave you craving for the presence of God.” Another says “This story reads like a prayer — like the best kind of prayer filled with sweat and wonder and transparency and surprise. If you read one work of fiction this year, let this be it.” And that’s what I want to tell you. This is fiction. I don’t normally read fiction because I have so many non-fiction books I’m trying to read. But this came so highly recommended and I heard the author speak about this book and was impressed, I thought that because of the theme of this book, I’d read it.

Another reviewer said, that she read it “during a very difficult transition” in her life. She said “this story has blown the door wide open to my soul.” I can’t speak much for the book because I haven’t read it, but it sounds interesting and I sure was impressed with the Foreword. You might try it.

Another thing I would encourage you to do is to ask your pastor and other Christian people that you respect for recommendations.

And lastly, something that really helps me is to stay in God’s word. I go to a Woman’s Bible Study (actually 2 different ones) that keeps me in the word of God. I will tend to get lazy in my study time and will find ways to eventually procrastinate because I’m so “busy” — which is true in some ways — but I know that I should never get so busy that I don’t MAKE the time to “rightly” study the word of God as we’re told to do in 2 Timothy 2:15 and 2 Timothy 3:16-17. I’ve taught quite a few studies (so it will force me to study more diligently) but for now, I attend one instead and it still forces me to study diligently.

The main Bible Study I go to is a Beth Moore study using her DVD’s and workbooks. It meets at a church. Currently we are studying “A Woman’s Heart… God’s Dwelling Place” and it is steeped in scripture study and is very challenging. (The other study I go to is one that involves worship, singing, and Bible reading — with no particular theme to it — other than pure worship and praise with other women. It meets in a woman’s home that is located close to ours. I feel like I get a good balance between both meetings.)

I encourage you to seek out other believers who are studying the word of God so you can use them for accountability. This will “stir you on to love and good deeds” as the Bible talks about as you “assemble together.” If that won’t work for you, ask God to point out to you what will. This will help you so you might not go through as many “dry” times spiritually. I find that if we don’t find ways to spur us on to keep seeking God’s heart, we can get off track sometimes. It sounds like this is what has happened to you. I certainly can’t “throw stones” because as I said, I’ve been there before myself, but hopefully what I’ve just written will help in some ways as a woman of God, a wife, and a mother. May God bless you as you seek His heart!

I’ve been thinking that God must be so tired of me coz I confess what I feel and ask for forgiveness then I just let go of His hand. Please pray for me for the enemy is really attacking me. Even praying with my husband is something I feel I can’t do anymore coz my heart is not right. Any advice for me from anybody I’ll be grateful. Please continue praying for me and for my husband too for his walk with God to be stronger than it is. Thank you all. Cindy, is there anything you can recommend? God bless you all love you all.