What about in your home? Are you living together in such a way where the words of the old song apply when it says, “Where seldom is heard a discouraging word?” Is how you’re living in the comforts of your home distracting you from living Christ?

A rule we made in our own home years ago when our sons were growing up —and still live out to this day —is that we’re always to speak to and treat each other with respect. It isn’t just the words we say to each other that matters, it’s also the way in which we say it.

The tone of voice and the inflection in which we say certain things can bring as much disrespect to the other person as calling each other names such as, “dummy or stupid” — which is also not allowed in our home.

As we told our sons, “We will not allow you to speak disrespectfully to each other or to us. You can express your feelings in our home but we will not allow you to scream or say things hatefully or disrespectfully.” As we told them, we didn’t want them to live to regret such behavior later in life. And for that reason we were pretty diligent in making them obey this rule.

On the same note, as we told our sons we knew that WE ALSO NEED TO LIVE OUT THESE RULES OURSELVES in how we deal with them and with each other. If we didn’t allow them to speak disrespectfully to each other or to us, we shouldn’t be allowed to do it either.

We gave them permission to keep us as accountable to that rule as we would keep them accountable to it. We knew we had no more right to yell and scream at them than they had a right to do it to us. The Bible says to “speak the truth in love” and that doesn’t include degrading each other.

You know, it’s amazing when you give your children permission to let you know when you violate a house rule, how quick they are to do so! But that’s good (even though it was pretty irritating at times when we wanted to get away with it ourselves when we were angry at them).

We all need to be kept accountable so we don’t abuse each other in deed or in word and bring disgrace to the witness of Christ within us—that especially applies to how we treat each other in our marriages!

We so agree with the words of Gary Smalley when he said, “Look at your spouse as if they’re autographed by God.” And they are—do you realize that? Every one of us is created in the image of God. Some of us may hide His image within us more than others but somewhere deep inside it’s still there. And because of that we need to be mindful that God values them, and so should we.

We must treat each other with respect, demonstrating the love of Christ in every way—praying for them and loving them “as unto the Lord” —because “whatever we do for the least of these, we do also unto Him.”

We came across this paraphrase of Colossians 3:17 that ministered to our hearts. We hope will minister to yours as well. It reads:

“Whatever you do for your husband or wife, whether it is something kind you say, a chore you do, or a sacrifice you make, go about it as if you’re doing it not just for him or her, but for Jesus; then you will be able to do it with a thankful heart.”

We’ll have more on this subject next week.

God Bless!
Steve and Cindy Wright

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