The following are “Real Life” testimonies from people who have dealt with the heart-break of what Emotional Infidelity can do to a marriage. We believe you will learn through what they have to say and will prayerfully find hope through reading their stories.
If God has given you a testimony which you could share with others, that may help them and encourage them somehow, we would love to hear from you— even if your testimony isn’t very long in length.
Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT section and clicking on “Contact Us” and then writing it out for us there.
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(US) Hi Chris, If you’re still out there, how are you doing?
(USA) Hi lessonlearned, I’m still here. I’ve been reading the other comments from different subjects, trying to learn what I can. I’m still standing and praying for my marriage. I’m still married as of yet. At least I still have weekly contact because of the kids and I try to love as unconditionally as I can. Most days are hard and emotional for me. I’m trying to improve myself spiritually and physically. It’s lonely and my mind tends to wander about what she’s doing.
How’s things going with your husband? As long as you’re willing to try, God can ignite a spark into a flame. I hope day by day that I will become the husband and man our Lord wants me to be. I am hoping and praying God will move in my wife’s heart. I just want one more chance to show her a man who loves his wife and will lay his life down for her. From a woman’s perspective, do you have any pointers to win back the heart of one who was betrayed?
Thanks lessonlearned, your concern lifts my spirits! Good to hear from you again…
(USA) Good morning Chris, Glad to see you’re still hangin’ in there.. it’s tough times for sure. I just found out my husband and the other women had sex. I got that information from her directly and she then confessed to her husband. So here I am months later having to relive this mess again.
I still don’t know what to do with my marriage. I’ve been going on the New Life Ministries and that’s been very helpful. You should check it out. As far as having any advice goes, I would continue doing what you are already doing… sounds like you’re going to be a great husband when she does come back. What more could a women want? Hope your children are doing ok through this as well.
(USA) Dear Lessonlearned, Hello again! I see you were up early this morning. Thank you for your kind words, despite what you’re going through. I wish I could give you some advice as to what would help your situation. I believe only God can lead you as to what you should do.
For me, I believe God laid it on my heart to pray and stand for His deliverance of my marriage and family since the beginning of this ordeal. I was also led to a website that has been a lifeline for hope (rejoiceministries.org) There are so many testimonies there of restored marriages and the faith of those hurting people who are still waiting for their precious spouses is nothing short of inspirational. I also watched the movie "Fireproof" recently and it touched my heart. I believe God is also showing me what it means to love. Jesus was rejected by many, yet still loved and gave Himself for us all. He keeps no record of wrongs.
I am a believer that marriage is a covenant that cannot be broken. It is permanent. I didn’t believe this while I was having my affair but my eyes were opened. Keep praying for your husband and marriage. God can and does change hearts. He did mine, and He did it quickly and powerfully. I will check out New Life. I hope you will check out Rejoice Ministries. Have a good day. I will keep you and yours in my prayers.
(UNITED STATES) Chris, I am reading your entry through tears and I feel the same as the others..that my husband should read your letter…and thank you for sharing that and unveiling yourself to us so we can hear about what happens on the other side.
You have a story that needs to be told just like Bob from Rejoice Ministries(..I have been with them since my husband left in December) and I am in your situation. I cant even picture myself with another man regardless of what my husband has said or done to me. I know that it is not my husband. I have watched him turn into another man in 2 months. But I have to keep praying for him and for his ministry that it does not suffer because of his decisions with our marriage.
He has told me that he never loved me…not even on the day we married. That has crushed me so much and when I brought that back to him he said that he didn’t remember saying it. Where did i get that, from a little birdie??? I have watched my loving husband abandon me and I can barely make ends meet now. I have watched him let the first house we own go to foreclosure. I am staying with a lady that I don’t even know now, renting a room and my time with her is ending soon and I am praying for where I am going to stay now.
And my husband who is a minister is continuing in being an associate minister at the new church where the both of us were going. He is doing well financially and has his own place. How he did that, I don’t know, because apartment complexes all turned me down because of the foreclosure on our names and the debt because he stopped paying for everything.
My car went back to the dealership. He gave me his truck and said that he would continue payments on it since I could not afford it and I thought that god was starting to work things out until 2 days later he asked me to officially sign divorce papers.
He said he is tired of going through the things that married people go through and a letter that I found that he wrote to God says that this new lady from the church could be his real wife and she doesn’t seem to have a lot of bad things wrong with her.
Thank you for your testimony..you keep praying for your wife..she is so hurting now and you are too…I pray for you Chris..and I really mean that.
(USA) Hi Chris, still out there? Just checking to see how you are doing.
(UNITED STATES) In the midst of the mess, we hear of the bad things, so I am trying to make sure that I tell of the blessed things that has happened in me and my spouse’s life to help give reassurance and hope to those waiting for their breakthrough. My husband has finally listened to God’s voice and says that he is so glad that I continued to pray satan out of his life and his lifestyle.
Since my husband has been back home we had to start counseling to try to understand the emotional affair that he had and to explore how to keep things from not going that way again. Our pastor is seeing us on a regular basis and we have also made arrangements to start going to marriage retreats that are available with other churches here. When I told him about Bob and Charlene and how their ministry has helped me reveal some things to myself about me and that everything was not on his back as to why things were not going the way they should in our family, he now wants to meet them.
We never knew that there was such a powerful ministry here and I am always impressed on how they realize that Florida is a popular vacation spot and a place where most people travel and is a perfect place to start a marriage ministry that is just as bold as they are to sponsor billboards for prodigals. So in addition to us hitting the coast, we plan on taking that 2 hour trip to visit their ministry… mainly to meet the man and woman of God that is helping those who are praying and seeking for restoration in their marriages as well as keeping the focus on God who is a healer above all healers. The kids are excited about his return and I am too. Thank you Lord, for hearing me and the kid’s prayers.
(USA) Can I first say I thank God for this website? It has been great support for me knowing that I am not alone in the struggles I am having in my marriage. Today my flesh is telling me to just walk way but my spirit is telling me to cry out to the Lord and let him handle it. My husband is a Christian, but I think satan has him blinded. He does not see how his relationship that he has with this woman is damaging and has damaged my trust and has broken the foundation of our marriage.
I have asked him to stop talking, texting and end all forms of communication with her. We have had many discussions regarding this person yet she is still in his life. I am tired of this. In every other area of our marriage my husband is great, he is loving,supportive, attentive,thoughtful and kind. But I feel all of that is fake because he will not end or has not ended this relationship which he refers to as “just friends”. He will not go to counseling because he says this is not a problem.
I think it is a very big problem when another woman calls your husband, sweetie, baby, my boo, handsome, tells him she misses him and that she loves him. And has done nothing to stop it. How is it that your spouse, whom you share your time, money, life, body etc with tells you that you are not allowed to go through their cell phone? His favorite line is “you are always looking for stuff” meaning that I looking for things to accuse him of.
I thank God for the positive people that know my situation (few trusted believers) who are helping me pray through this, but I am embarrassed to keep coming to them about the same thing. I have warned my husband via the Word that God is not mocked and he his going to have to give an account for what he is doing and so will she, she knows how I feel about her, yes we have spoken and is supposed to be married. Where is her husband in all of this? I would like to know. I know that God is terrible in his judgment. You don’t want the ones you love to suffer under the hand of God but if that is what it takes for them to come to repentance then what can you do but ask God to have mercy.
Pray for me. My husband continues to lie to me. Every time I think it is over. I find out they are still in communication.
(USA) Hi Mae, why haven’t you told her husband yet? I did that. My Husband confessed he had an emotional affair, but as it turned out it was a full blown affair and yes I told her husband bringing it to an end. I still don’t trust him this is his second affair that I’m aware of. I would do that first and see if that crumbles the relationship.
(USA) Hi Lessonlearned. That is the problem. I don’t know if she has a husband. That may have been another lie. If I could I would have contacted him. It is amazing. I log on to this site for inspiration often. Nothing has really changed. I am still going through. He continues to hide his phone from me. If he takes a shower, goes in the bathroom or the next room he takes it.
I am going to try a few more options like a Couples seminar and counseling for myself and ask someone who I know he trusts, and will listen to, to talk to him. If there are no changes well, I feel like I have some very tough decisions to make. I love him, I want a life with him. We were planning to start a family, but how can I build on a foundation that is broken?
Like I said before, other than this he is a wonderful young man and it will hurt me so deeply, but I feel his is not honoring our vows. We both promised to “forsake all others.” Not to the extreme where you can’t talk to the opposite sex, but you know, have respectful boundaries. Respecting your spouse. I will continue to pray for God’s guidance but I am almost at the end of my rope. October will be one year since I confronted him about this “person” and nothing has changed. Really it has gotten worse. Pray for Him and pray for me.
(USA) Hi Mae, finding out if she’s married shouldn’t be that hard. Do you have access to his phone bill? What I did was get her number then went to the web site to Anywho Reverse Phone Search, typed in the number, got names and the address. I found out she was married, called her husband and told him what was going on. That squashed that relationship.
My husband would also protect his cell phone. But I was too blind at that time to see what was going on. Just found out recently it wasn’t just a buddy kind of friendship. The signs are everywhere. Check his under clothes too. I don’t think this "friendship" can be just a friendship when hes hiding his phone from you, and her calling him pet names. I would log everything, but do get a hold of the phone bill. If your name is also on the account, set up an online account. You will have access to the bill without him knowing.
(USA) Hi Lessonlearned. It is amazing how women turn into detective mood when we have been hurt. I believe God has wired us that way. Just searching for the truth that our husbands won’t give us. I don’t understand if you don’t want to be with me then just say so. Or if you have fallen and have gotten caught, just be honest. If you want the relationship tell the truth then your spouse can make have a clear mind as to how to proceed. It’s not to say he or she won’t still leave but at least save them from additional hurt from lying and most importantly, God only can work with you when you are honest. There can be no restoration without confession. God himself requires that of us before we have a relationship with him. Then if God requires that and a marriage is a reflection of God’s relationship with us/his church than the same goes for the spouse.
Well, I have all the evidence I need. I can put something in front of his face and he will not tell the truth. And the spirit is telling me that is his problem he has to deal with God about. Honestly, I believe most of us are guilty of a lie once in a while. It doesn’t make it right. But my husband has lied to me too many times regarding this “friend”. The other night was enough for me. Therefore I am preparing to leave today.
I don’t want a divorce. I love my husband very much and I really hope it does not lead to that. I feel like I have to do something to let him know you can’t just disrespect me with this “friend” and think it is okay. I am keeping my heart open to hear God and will do my best to keep the lines of communication open between he and I but I have to be clear with him as long as she is in his life then we can’t be together.
I am trying to brace myself for the painful days ahead. I don’t want to face them but I can’t go on like this. One day and one prayer at a time. Please, please pray for me that God’s will be done in my marriage. And I will the same for all of you.
(USA) Hi Mae, I’ll be praying for you. I think you are doing the right thing. Tough love. I swore after his second affair I would not stay with him, but we have 2 young children and I can’t bare to see their world crumble over his immature actions. What makes this so hard is the woman he had the affair with was a friend of mine who does daycare at the school my children attend. To save the marriage we are considering moving North where my husband is from. I told him I’m afraid though if it happens again then I’m stuck out there with no support system.
I guess one good thing came out of it she is now working things out with her husband. I just don’t understand how men & women can so easily sleep or have an interest in someone who is married. I asked my husband why a married women with a family; he said it was easier because they are less demanding than a single woman. I told him to get out when I thought he was having an emotional affair he agreed to leave, but then told me it was an emotional affair.
So hard as it was I was willing to work it out, until his story just wasn’t panning out. See, he was protecting her and lying to me. So it was like going through it all over again. I did confront her and she tried to lie to me but I told her I knew everything that happened and I was going to call her husband & tell the Pastor, which I did. I think she was very remorseful. But all the lies she told me when I confided in her makes it a challenge to forgive. I know I have to and believe me I work on it daily.
I know I would never do that to another woman, but I’m a sinner too in other ways and God sees sin as sin he doesn’t label it like we do. I wish you well Mae; that pain is terrible. Just know I’m here if you need to talk. Take care.