Here are “Real Life” testimonies from people who have dealt with an emotionally distant spouse who have experienced God’s special touch in their circumstances. We believe you will be encouraged and find hope through reading them.
If God has done a special work in your marriage that could encourage others, we want to hear from you— even if it isn’t very long in length. Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT section and clicking on “Contact Us” and then writing it out for us there.
If you want to remain anonymous, please let us know. We will not to reveal your name and the name(s) of your loved ones if that is your wish. Our aim is to encourage others, not to embarrass anyone.
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(South Africa) Pray with me for God to restore my marriage.
(SA) Please pray for total reconciliation and restoration in our marriage and for God to minister to my husband who is out of the plan of God.
(SOUTH AFRICA) Hi. My husband also recently made wrong decisions without fully trusting God. I felt an uneasiness from the start and prayed about it, trusting God to work in his heart. I assured him of my full support though but with time very subtly made him aware of my concerns. He was able to see for himself, by the grace of God, and could get out without any damage to our marriage. Sometimes it’s best for us to BE STILL AND TRUST GOD! Gale and Melanie, I hope that all is going well with your marriages. God bless.
(ZIMBABWE) Please help me through prayers so that I can restore my marriage. I have been separated from my husband for close to one year four months. I still love my husband and I know divorce is a wrong choice. Still, something tells me he still loves me.
(USA) I have very difficult times in my marriage of 6 years. I, a man, seem to be more emotionally in tune with our marriage condition than my wife. I have been leading the way in trying to help us identify the problems and to hopefully, work on them. One problem I see is that my wife is emotionally distant from me. We will have a few good days and then it is as if I cease to exist to her. When I bring this up to her (always kindly, not angry), she gets angry at me and tells me I make her feel like a failure. Instead of going on the defensive, I ask myself, "why doesn’t see empathize and possibly try to see that I might have a point."
Tonight, she told me I want something from her that she is not able to give. That saddened me to my soul because I feel that she is not interested in me or working on this marriage. She went to bed and is sleeping sound and I am up at 3 am writing this note on a blog on the internet. What a sad position to be in. I never saw this coming.
I will accept that she has lost interest in me. I will work on dealing with it because I don’t want a divorce. But, I have this feeling that she will file for divorce at some time. I no longer trust her emotionally. She once told me that I was not communicating with her. Now that I have taken steps to communicate, I am met with hostility, anger and yelling.
I don’t understand her. I am tired of working so hard and getting slapped in the face. C’est La Vie
(USA) My wife is emotionally distant from me too. I have to walk on eggshells around her, and be careful what I say to her because she will be very mean and hateful to me, and she doesn’t seem to see it. Either she doesn’t see it or she just doesn’t care. She says she loves me, and she says the proof is that she’s still here with me.
But she’s never loving or caring to me. It’s like she doesn’t care about my feelings at all. She jumps down my throat at the drop of a hat. She constantly runs me down. I can never do anything right, and now I guess I’m feeling like she feels.
I love her but I can’t be treated bad like that for much longer. She never compliments me on anything; it’s always negative, She says I’m insecure, but I’m not. I’m just going on what I see coming from her. Oh well, what will be will be.
(USA) Hi Bill, I totally understand what you are going through as this is the same situation with me and my husband currently. I was wondering what happened and if you have any advice on what to do or what not to do?
My husband has told me that he believed in our wedding vows and yet let the lack of communication ruin our relationship, without my knowledge. I came to learn his feelings and his plan to leave all within the past couple days. I am having a very hard time dealing with it and have pleaded with him that we can fix this… he simply tells me that he doesn’t know if he wants to fix it. I told him we could be happy again, all he has to do is give us a chance. His response is the same over and over “I don’t know if that’s what I want.” It’s like he knows we can be happy together but doesn’t know if that’s what he wants?!
Do you have any thoughts? I totally understand if you don’t get back to me on this, but would greatly appreciate any advice or knowledge you have gained from this situation. Many thanks, Emily
(UNITED STATES) I am a Christian and my husband is not but you will think after 16years together our marriage should be great. We have hardly no communication. Every time I try to talk to him he thinks I am arguing. I don’t yell or anything. He doesn’t do anything with me. We have four kids and emotionally he doesn’t show them. I am very concerned that this will affect our kids, but I’m praying it doesn’t. He still drinks and that’s the time he wants to talk and hug I don’t want that.
Well, today I told him I wanted a divorce. I really don’t; I would like to work this marriage out. But I am so tired of trying and getting no where. The thing is, I know he loves me but he just can’t show it to me like he use to. I am so hurt in the end side that I pray constantly that God helps me if I’m wrong and helps him if he’s wrong to make our marriage better.
(USA) Bill, your wife and I have a lot in common. Although I can’t speak for her personally I am doing everything you just stated to my husband. I love my husband, but there are a lot of issues that I am facing that he just doesn’t understand and when I’ve tried in the past to tell him those things he gets my meanings wrong, takes them as personal attacks, and this makes me even more upset.
I finally realized that I am struggling with the decisions I made in life. Some involve my husband and some don’t, but divorce is not something I want, although he thinks I am going to leave him.
You didn’t say if you have kids, if she stays home or if she works outside the home, if she has friends, or a good family history. But all of these are issues for me, and as you can see my husband did not enter that list. The only thing that gets me upset with him is when he doesn’t talk to me and when we do talk, he directs all my problems towards him. He doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not about him. However, by him doing this, it results in me becoming upset with him.
I hope something I said here helps.
(USA) Sharo, From my experience I want to tell you that I’ve learned NEVER to say things that I don’t want or mean. I have yet to live down some things I’ve told my husband. And it has left a deep mark in our relationship, and we both are Christians.
Be careful, pray, seek help, and stay; as long as you and your kids are not in danger, which it doesn’t seem like you are.
(JAMAICA) My husband is so distant from me I could scream. We are having issues that he continues to deny. If I have to speak to him he denies me the right. He remains quiet and does not respond which makes me upset.
He has his son who is 14 living with us, the boy is lazy has to be told to do the same thing everyday. I am trying to cope, I feel like like I made the biggest mistake in my life my marrying someone with children.
(USA) I understand where you are coming from. I have a wife and she hasn’t talked to me in 2 months. won’t say a word pay the bills, and have no say so. And yes, I did cheat on her but it’s because she would not have sex with me or let me hold her. I am nice to her and would do anything for her. I don’t get hi or anything. I’m just here. I have a step son who is 21 and spends his money foolishly so I have decided to move. I can not live my life in silence the rest of my life here. So if you think I’m wrong for leaving, let me know please.
(USA) Please pray for me and my husband. I am struggling in our relationship. It is a second marriage for both of us and I don’t want to end up divorced again. We are both Christians. He is emotionally distant and at times, moody, impatient and snippy with me. He finds as many ways as he can to avoid being with me or talking with me – watching television, playing video games or just not being at home. Please pray. I am very lonely and struggling with feelings of sadness. Thank you.
(UK) I know what you’re talking about as I am that ‘man’ in my marriage. The only solution is to get counselling, pray and give him an ultimatum to buck up. If he’s like me only a serious crisis will wake him up, such as the thought of losing you. In addition get the pastors at your church or close friends to pray for your marriage
(USA) I am praying for you. I kind of feel like you. My huband of 5 years told me that he isn’t in love with me anymore. It has only been 2 days. I am so lost. I have talked to 2 spiritual leaders, one of them being my pastor. All I can do at this point is pray. We have a 2 yr old daughter. The mother-father role is awesome. But the wife-husband role needs to catch a flame. Any suggestions?