“We marry for many reasons, but I believe that underlying many of them is one simple and incredibly powerful motivation. We’re seeking to fill the hole in our souls through a marriage relationship. It may be true, in fact, that all of our attempts at human relationships come from this driving force. We feel an emptiness, a longing that, while we may keep it at bay for a time, always comes back, often larger and more insistently. What is this longing? What is this emptiness?” (Jerry and Judy Schreur)

The above questions are ones we’d like to address in this marriage message. The material we’ll be gleaning from is found in a great book entitled, When Prince Charming Falls Off His Horse, Keeping the Happily Ever After in Your Marriage” by Jerry and Judy Schreur (Published in 1997 by Chariot Victor Publishing). It reads:

“You and I are men and women who were created in the image of God. We were created for fellowship and an intimate relationship with God. But we’re fallen creatures, and we live in a warped and fallen world. So all we can possibly do is know God imperfectly and incompletely. Although only God can fill the hole in our soul, on this side of heaven that happens only incompletely. So we look around for whatever else can fill that hole.

We’re made for relationships. In fact, we’re created for a perfect relationship with a holy and perfect God, who loves us as His children. But the warping of sin and disobedience have put us at odds with God, and even when we live forgiven lives, the gulf never completely goes away.

It won’t until we meet Him face-to-face. But we still feel that lack; we still feel that pain; and we still look for a way, any way to fill it up.

It’s in a committed, mature marriage where we have the best chance of partially filling that hole. A mature marriage, free of romantic expectations and the cultural craziness around falling in love, can at its best vaguely approximate God’s love for us.

After all, isn’t that what God has commanded husbands to do? Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for it.

Therefore, it makes sense that we look to marriage for a partial fulfillment of the hole in our souls. But we’re coming at it from the wrong direction. It has to start with God. It’s only in radiating the love and grace and mercy we receive from Him that we have a chance in our marriages.

Listen closely. The agape, or unconditional love we receive from God isn’t human, and we cannot create it within ourselves. It comes only from God. Our hope in our marriages is that at their best, we’ll be able to share that love with our partners.

But when we look to our partners to create and originate that agape, unconditional love, they’ll fall short, and the yawning emptiness will grow larger. The best marriages are still only a shadow of the love that God has for us. And rarely are we at our best.

If you want to make your marriage a better place, the 1st thing to do is to work on your relationship with the God who made you and loves you. Ultimately our only hope, but certainly a valid hope, is that God’s grace will wash over us and over our marriages. Without that grace, marriage can be very difficult.

But when we exhibit that grace, that unmerited favor that God has bestowed on us, to our spouse, then something special and even beautiful can happen. Then we have a chance at real love. Then we have moved beyond the romantic ideals and the foolish hopes of our fantasies.

When grace comes down and floods our life and washes clean our marriages, then something remarkable can happen. Marriage can echo God’s love.“

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DOES YOUR MARRIAGE ECHO GOD’S LOVE? That’s an important question that all of us who profess to be followers of Christ should ask ourselves. Are you extending the graces (that are uncommon for the world to give) from gentleness to mercy and unconditional love that God has given to you?What are you doing with that which God has given to you? Are you communicating the gospel with and without words in every area of your lives?It’s our prayer that God will continually remind and strengthen us to live out the promises we vowed to keep when we married—promising to love, honor, and cherish each other for as long as we both shall live—so “help us God.” 

Our love and prayers are continually with you. And for those of you who have written sharing with us the wonderful miracles that God has been bringing about in your married lives through this ministry—THANK YOU!!! We thank our God continually that He has allowed us to participate with Him in this wonderful way! You have blessed us in more ways than we could ever say.

Steve and Cindy Wright

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