Comments on: FOR WOMEN: Fantasies on the Internet

By: James

James — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:14:20 +0000

(USA) Wow! My buddy loves his wife so much. It’s sad she started playing online games and now she totally ignores him. I don’t know what to say to him. He’s sad, he hurts; she flirts with guys. They have only been married 2 years. What is his best option?

By: Lo

Lo — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 06:06:16 +0000

(USA) Thank you Hosea for the uncompromised word of God. Obey God and leave all the consequences to him.

By: Hosea

Hosea — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:19:22 +0000

(USA) Get the book “Love Life” by Dr. Wheat. Read the last chapter, “How to Save Your Marriage Alone.” Basically, keep loving your husband even though he is acting the way he is. Love is the ONLY answer in God’s plan for marriage. God HATES divorce. Delay, delay, delay anyway you can. When you see him, show him the stable wife that you are, the stable life that he is leaving behind. Treat him in a loving way, even though he does not deserve it. Treat him the same way that Christ loves us. Even if the divorce does happen, you will have NO regrets for obeying the Lord.

By: Rose

Rose — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:19:18 +0000

(S. AFRICA) Dear Mark, My heart aches for you. I hate these chat sites especially “face book”. My story is exactly like yours. My husband also started chatting on face book to an ex-girlfriend he had also taken out twice (40 years ago). This also escalated into Sms’s, phone calls and secret e-mailing. At first I was not concerned as she lives in New Zealand and we live in S.Africa. I was deeply hurt (after 35 years of marriage) as to this emotional affair. I warned my husband that he could reach the point of no return which is just what has happened.

In September, 2008 he moved out of the house and engaged even further in his affair. It was only one month later that I received his request for a divorce. I later found out that she had flown to S. Africa and they had spent a three week holiday together. This has totally crushed me and despite my willingness to forgive him and have him back he does not want it.

He has since flown to New Zealand to holiday there with her and my heart is broken in a thousand pieces.
We are in the process of a divorce. (something I do not believe in and have never wanted). My husband is insisting he wants a divorce and plans to marry her and immagrate to New Zealand. His latest statement was “you will never see or hear from me again”. The tears still flow as I write this.

As to what you can do, I really dont know. My divorce is still not through and I am still praying. My prayers will also include you Mark. I have realised that only God can change hearts. Hearts that are open to the Holy Spirit. Pray for your wife and pray for yourself for God to show you what to do. It will not be easy. Satan is out in these last days and his aim is to destroy families the basis of Gods church. Be strong but loving.

By: Mark

Mark — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:32:47 +0000

(USA) My wife is in an emotional affair with an ex-boyfriend which started on Face Book. Over the past two months it has escalated into telephone conversations and email all through the day and night. We were happy and normal until she got a Facebook account. Then after 2 months she told me she wanted a divorce out of the blue. There was no indication we were having problems then I found out it was another man that she has dated 2 previous times before we got married. I have intercepted emails between the two of them and she is planning on going to see him and opening up a bank account together. They are telling each other they love one another and using little pet names for each other. But, she has told him her divorce is in progress when it is not. She is leading him on with this fantasy. She is even sending him pictures of men and women wedding bands. I think she is too deep into this fantasy. What can I do?

By: Belen

Belen — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:51:58 +0000

(USA) I wish I could track back time. I wish I knew a year ago what I know now. I could have dealt with things differently. Internet fantasy should never be underestimated. It can ruin your life, it will hurt you and your love ones and it can lead to sin. The power of sin should never be underestimated as well.

A year ago, I let my guard down, I let my heart out rule my mind, I had my heart in my hands and most of all I opened a chance for sin to come in. I thought that, it was just a fantasy, it was an innocent old time friendship and maybe… maybe, I could help by comforting him. I thought, I could get out easily and would never let it affect me at all. I thought I was strong enough to deal with it later. Big mistake! I have sinned before God and I have I violated my commitment.

Is it worth it? My answer is, No. It cost me my peace of mind, my happiness, my health, my relationship with my family and most of all, I feel like I had Christ crucified again. At one point, I didn’t know who I was anymore.

If you are in this site to look for help or look for an answer, you are in the right direction. And if you are involved in an affair of an emotional infidelity, it’s time to stop and let it go. There’s nothing good that’s going to come out from it. The pain, the lies, betrayal of trust, the guilt and ruin relationship is overwhelming. You need to get out now, stop the communication and start rebuilding what was broken. You can do it by His grace. Yes, the power of sin is strong but His power and love is greater to help us overcome it.
I’m just so grateful that God is so loving and so patient to deal with my stubbornness.

You see, at first, I tried to correct things by my own efforts but it didn’t lead me anywhere. It is not easy. Then one morning, I begged God to take over because I couldn’t do it anymore. It’s only when I did my complete surrender and gave my complete dependence to His power that things felt easier. I still have a long way to go toward my complete recovery and toward the complete restoration of my marriage and myself respect but I know that God’s love will carry me through. And You!