As far as giving you advice… I truly believe that you need someone who can give you more help than we can give you in this format. It’s not that we don’t want to, but you need to talk to someone who can personally converse with you, someone who is marriage friendly, who will be spiritually wise and will lead you to the best help that is possible.

I encourage you to go into the “Marriage Counseling” section of this web site and go into the Focus on the Family link. They have counselors on staff that can talk to you and give you direction. They won’t be able to give you long-term help, but rather immediate counsel and then direction on where you could go to receive more help if that is what you need (which I believe you will).

Please don’t give up hope. Keep praying and reaching out for healthy help. You may benefit from reading Dr Dobson’s book on “Love Must Be Tough” and putting down some type of boundaries in how your husband can treat you.

I also encourage you to keep praying for your husband. He is obviously very confused as to the best way to conduct himself in life. He is justifying actions that will not only lead to problems now, but also in the future. What a sad way to live. He is being deceived that you can hurt others and reach out for personal pleasure at the expense of others, and NOT eventually pay a bigger price. That is true deception — one that will eventually bite him in the end. God’s ways will not be mocked indefinitely. How I pray he wakes up.

Also, pray for strength within your mind and emotions. It would be very easy in your circumstances to focus on all the bad that is going on and all of the negative. Any one of us would have that tendency. But the Bible says that God is the “lifter” of our heads. Pray that God will help you to live out Philippians 4:8-9 — focusing on that which God can show you to be good, rather than painful, reaching for healthy thinking and living and His peace. That will be so very difficult because of your circumstances, but with God, all things are possible.

My heart and prayers go out to you and for you. May God embrace your heart and emotions with His love and show you HIS faithfulness, and HIS loving help and reason to hope that tomorrow will be a better day. May He replace your tears with unspeakable joy. May God bless you as you lean upon Him and NOT “upon your own understanding.”

Another thing, everytime we have a problem, instead of us sitting down to talk about it, he runs to his parents house. Last time we had a problem he ended up choking me until I passed out, so I decided to call the police. Now his family is telling him to let me go, as if we’re not married. His family always holds him up in his wrong, which is not good, because God is not pleased with that at all. They also told me to leave him alone and that they told him I never loved him and they could tell when someone doesn’t love him.

I said that I am going to leave it in God hands. Even so, his family was calling and telling me different stories. He still hasn’t called. Listen to this, I didn’t wish anything on his brother, which was the one leaving the messages for their family, how about 3 days after his brother and I separated, he got arrested for the same thing. See God doesn’t like ugly at all, if you know what I mean. And his brother always comes and carries my husband with him so my husband can be a cover up for him.

What should I do? I Love him so much and I don’t want to move on. I feel we got married through God and said our vows, so we owe it to God to try and work things out. I want my marriage to work out, but I also know that I can’t do it alone, it has to be both of us. Only God can do the impossible, but I’m so afraid of him cheating on me. I feel like I would feel much better if I knew how he feels, what he’s doing, and what he’s thinking.

So far it has been almost a month since he left me. What should I do? I feel like a mess, I put it in God hands, but I pray to God to keep him from doing anything wrong, from temptation, and keep him close and under his blood, but most of all tell him whatever his will is, let it be done. What should I do? Should I be the bigger person and call him? But then I will feel like the man of our marriage. What prayer should I say to help us? What Holy Bible scriptures should I read? I know the Bible says whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtains flavor in the Lord. So why should I run behind him? He should be the one who coming to me right now. I think about him 24/7 all day and night. I pray all the time for us, but I feel like I’m getting weak. But I know when at our weakest moments that’s when we’re strong.

Help me please… I need seriously advice right now… I said that I wanted to send him a text, read Proverb 18:21 and Proverbs chapters 18-21 and Job 14-21; tell him to focus on it. I know the Holy Bible says to Leave your mother and father. I cleave to my husband, but why hasn’t he fully done it yet, to forsake all others I don’t understand him, how he lets his family run his life. But I sit and wonder why am I still here. Then I realize I really do love him. Help me please a how can I help him? I know there’s only so much I can do; I have to give it to God. Why does it hurt so bad? Yet I’m still here waiting on him. What should I do? Advice and Encouragement, please? I need someone to be honest, go by the Holy Bible and still tell me the honest to God trust, can you do that?

It is indeed a sweet experience to be involved in mending a collapsing marriage. When couples were restored back to bliss by one`s intervention, the joy that accompanies it, is not only shared; in deed and in truth, it may often sometimes surpass that of the restored, embattled couple.

However the Bible says, unbelieving spouses can be saved to God by their believing spouses. Personally, I would go for that if I get in that situation. I think you have a choice to make and both alternatives are good with God.

If you decide to stay, depending on how strong you are in faith, I think it will develop you in the spirit (endurance, longsuffering, faithfulness). You would have made a decision to see God’s power in your life. Something to think about: With such faith and willingness to obey God, wouldn’t he remove this adultery and protect you from disease sooner than you thought???

Also, you will do no wrong by divorcing an adulterous husband. This would relieve you of the stress and will give you more time to concentrate with other aspects of life.

My dear, stay in prayer and focus on the Word. Lean not on your own understanding, like the Bible says, and leave the consequences of obedience to God. I will be happy to know how you are doing.

1. My husband has always been a person who likes to party till early in the morning. When we got married, I assumed that any person commiting to marriage, whether Christian or not Christian, will have to change from being a bachelor to being a man/woman. My husband continued with partying until 5:00 in the morning [most of the time].

When I confronted the situation, he said that he married because it is the right thing to do but he didn’t marry me to change his life. He says he will continue with partying because he loves it with passion.

2. We have been married for two years and there have been some times when I would sense that something is wrong in our marriage and I would steal his cell phone [which is a wrong thing to do, I don't justify my actions] and go to text messages. I would find his communications with women. He will be telling them that he loves them and they will be calling each other with very nice words like “baby”. One of the women once mentioned that she is pregnant with his baby.

3. I work far from our home, so we only see each other on weekends. The reality is that I only go home to guard the house. I usually come back on Fridays at around 17:00 in the afternoon [he is at work during this time]. When he knocks off at work at around 23:00, he will go straight to the night clubs and come home Saturday morning at 03:30 from the club. He will sleep and wake up at around 11:00 in the afternoon. When he wakes up, he will stay with me for 2 hours and go to his friends and come back Sunday morning at around the same time, 03:30 or sometimes 05:00. I usually leave on Monday morning and it is sually the time to get a quick “one round”.

4. I don’t feel safe to stay alone at night as a woman.

My questions: Matthew 16:25 says “For whoever wants to save his own life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” How far must you carry the cross in marriage? Must you be like Jesus and carry the cross to the grave? Should I risk the possibility of getting HIV from a cheating husband so that his soul can be saved one day?

My mother died of HIV from my father. She was saved for most of her life and my father was not. She died because she couldn’t accept her status in 2006 but my father is still alive. The good news is that my father is a born again Christian now. Does it mean that the physical body has to be crucified, as long as we know that God will save the soul?

I am really confused because I want to do the will of God and if it is his will and testing of my faith, I would like to know. Please say something and encourage me because for the sake of my husband’s soul, I am willing to endure it all. But, do you think it is the wise thing to do. [The verse says if I try to save my life by leaving my husband, I will die, But if I loose my life (by enduring this misery) then I will save it.

All I need is advise, please help me. [I have also read one of the messages that says, "Marriage is not about satisfaction"]