As many of you know, Cindy and I have a real love for helping those who are married and engaged. We feel marriage is at the heart of God. It’s compared in the Bible to a living picture of the love of Christ for His Church. As we see the covenant of marriage being down-graded by society as being less and less important (especially as we see the ever-rising divorce rate) our hearts break for how this must tear at God’s heart.

As a result of all of this, the Lord led us to begin the ministry called “Marriage Missions” 33 weeks ago. It’s been exciting to join Him in this wonderful opportunity to encourage those who are married and to be a part of how He’s quickly multiplying our e-mail list and marriage ministry opportunities. Our Web Site is also designed to better serve the needs of those God leads our way.

Cindy and I don’t see ourselves as marriage “experts” —we’re marriage educators. We’re an ordinary married couple who have been “around the block” a few times over. (March 18th will be our 30th wedding anniversary.) And we can tell you with all honesty that we love and respect each other more now than ever before.

It’s not that we haven’t gone through our stormy times; because we have (and we’re sure we’ll encounter more in the future). But we’re in this marital commitment ’til we’re parted by death. So we might as well make the best of it — not only for our own sakes, but for the testimony of the Lord.

We believe that as followers of Christ, we’re all missionaries through our marital witness. How we live our marital lives speaks to all who we come in contact with of the love of the Lord and His transforming power. Are you taking your witness seriously? Are you helping the cause of Christ or hurting it? As one wife and missionary talked of, it was her personal conviction that her entire life was “on display for others to observe God through.” What does your life tell others of who God is and what He can do for them?

We’ve made it our mission in covenant with God to continue in our lives together with the love of God in the forefront. With the Lord’s help we’re committed to “learn through” our marital lives with each other. We’re committed to be students of each other and students on what makes a marriage healthy and vibrant. We encourage you to do the same.

Don’t let life slide you apart. Put the time and effort into growing together rather than apart— thinking in terms of “we” rather than in terms of “I”. In other words, make daily choices everyday to choose each other in big and small ways so your marital relationship grows all the more strong as time progresses.

So for the rest of our “Marriage Message” we’d like to pass along some marriage tips that can help you in your intimacy with each other. This information comes from an e-mail service called the: Zondervan Marriage Builder which features Dave and Claudia Arp. We’re sending all of the information that’s contained in it because it may be helpful to you in differing ways. It reads:

What’s our prescription for a happy marriage? Infuse your marriage with fun, romance, and intimacy! You may be thinking easier said than done. But if you want to grow a healthy marriage, take a large dose of our prescription. Start with these daily marriage vitamins: • Hugs • Kisses • Secret signals • Silly notes in each other’s drawers, briefcases and so on • A little gift for no reason at all • Verbal affirmations • Little surprises — like your mates favorite candy bar.

Any of these will help you affirm your love and commitment to each other. Plan times when the two of you can focus only on each other. From our mentors, Dr’s. David and Vera Mace, we learned the importance of having a daily sharing time when we touch emotionally and connect for the day. Ten minutes over a cup of tea or coffee will work wonders for your communications. But don’t forget the importance of dates and getaways.

Finally, when stress hits and things don’t work out as planned, keep your sense of humor. Learning to laugh and have fun together is serious business in marriage, a means of divorce-proofing your relationship. After all, how many couples do you know who were laughing and having fun together on the way to the divorce court?

About the Arps : David and Claudia Arp are the founders and directors of Marriage Alive International and conduct seminars across the United States and Europe. David received a MSW from the University of Tennessee and Claudia holds a bachelor’s degree in Home Economics Education from the University of Georgia. The Arps are columnists, speakers and have written over 20 books dealing with marriage and family education. They host a national radio program “The Family Workshop” which is heard daily on over 200 stations. They have three married adult sons, five grandchildren, and live in Knoxville, Tenn.

BOOKS THEY’VE WRITTEN THAT MAY BE OF INTEREST TO YOU:

• LOVE LIFE FOR PARENTS: How to Have Kids and A Sex Life Too (Zondervan). The Arps lightheartedly share the humor and wisdom they’ve gleaned from more than 30 years of marriage and raising three sons, helping parents in any stage of their marriage build upon sound principles to enrich their love life. They say, “A great sex life is the result of building a healthy marriage and a healthy lifestyle.”

• THE SECOND HALF OF MARRIAGE: Facing the 8 Challenges of Every Long-Term Marriage (Zondervan). This Gold Medallion award-winning book gives practical insights into making the second half of marriage deeper and more fulfilling. Video curriculum is available from Marriage Alive. For more information contact www.marriagealive.com.

• 10 GREAT DATES TO REVITALIZE YOUR MARRIAGE (Zondervan). Dating doesn’t have to be only a memory or just another boring evening at the movies. This unique book, a Gold Medallion Award Silver Finalist, enables couples to rejuvenate their marriages by going on dates that specifically help develop marriage skills.

• 10 GREAT DATES VIDEO CURRICULUM (Zondervan, it includes two 75-min. videos with 10 short video date launches, Leader’s Guide and 1 Participants book). The Arps have revolutionized marriage education by creating Couples Nights Out— memory-making evenings built on key, marriage-enriching themes. This approach to relationship growth involves both partners, is low-key and best of all, and is exciting, proven, and FUN! Churches can also use this video curriculum for Sunday school classes and in small groups to conduct a systematic marriage-building campaign in their congregations.

These titles are available at your local bookstore, by calling 1-800-727-3480, or by e-mailing thinkzcs@zondervan.com. If you’re outside the U.S., see the list of international distributors at http://www.zondervan.com/desk/international.asp.

God’s richest blessings,
Steve and Cindy Wright

 Print This Page (printer-friendly)

 Email This Page