Here’s a question for you— what do you think is the hardest thing to do in a relationship? Think about it!

What’s the hardest thing to do in any relationship? Personally, I think it’s listening.

Listening doesn’t come naturally to human beings. Most of us love to talk. But to focus in on what someone we love is saying—now that takes effort!

Whether it’s a 5-year-old little brother recounting every (and I mean every) activity of his day, or a 16-year-old sister explaining every (and I mean every) detail of her break-up, or listening to your spouse describe every (and I mean every) little thing that bothered them about work that day, it’s tough to listen for very long.

So why bother? It’s because listening demonstrates our love. When we do something that tough, we demonstrate how much we love someone. If listening were easy, it would also be a lot less loving.

We demonstrate our love for God by listening to Him. To some, “listen” is a synonym for “obey.” That’s important, but it’s not what I’m talking about. In this context, to listen means to focus on the words that God has spoken to us through the Bible.

Proverbs 8 personifies godly wisdom as a woman calling for listeners on a busy street. We don’t know how many customers she drew; I would guess, not too many. People haven’t changed.

Maybe wisdom needed a better business plan. Who really wants to listen to the demands of wisdom? Chances are—she’d urge people to do things they didn’t want to do so they could achieve some long-term goal. Listening to God’s wisdom—focusing on each word, understanding its implications, interacting with its intentions—is as tough as listening to people! But it’s also worth it.

As with any discipline, listening gets easier with practice. It starts out tough, and you might not always pay complete attention, but you will get better. So why not start right now?

Commit yourself to the labor of listening—to your spouse, friends, family, and to God.

In this case, nothing says “I love you” like saying nothing and listening instead.

---

To give credit where credit is due—the above message is a modified version that came from The Soul’s Journey/Campus Journal that was sent to me (Steve) and in turn passed along to you. Because of the richness of the message it delivers—especially to those of us who are married we wanted to send it, hoping it will benefit you as it has us.The Bible tells us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). This is especially important to those of us who are married because when you live with someone day in and day out that command too often becomes switched around in our actions where we become quick to speak, quick to become angry, and slow to listen.

We pray this message will come as a reminder that a marriage license doesn’t give us “license” to become deaf to doing that which God tells us to do. Strive to be a good listener — especially when you’re with your spouse. It may be one of the greatest gifts of love you could give them.

As someone once said, “there are two hindrances to good communication that must be overcome. There’s the bad habit of lazy listening and hasty speaking” (John Lavendar). Our prayer is that we’ll all work to eliminate those hindrances in communication—starting today!

In closing we’d like to end by passing along to you a few scripture verses that we hope you’ll use in a devotional time with your spouse. Together, read through this message, discussing together that which you find interesting and then look up and read each of the scriptures listed below. Discuss with each other how each of these Bible passages can apply to you in your marriage. End your time together praying with and for each other that God will help you to apply that which you’ve just read.

Suggested scriptures to read to go along with this message: Proverbs 1:5 — Proverbs 8 — Proverbs 12:15 — Proverbs 15:14 — Proverbs 15:31— Proverbs 18:13 — Proverbs 18:15 — Proverbs 19:20 — Proverbs 23:12 — and James 1:19.

“Blessed are those who hear the Word of God and obey it.” (Luke 11:28)

Our love and prayers are with you,
Steve and Cindy Wright

 Print This Page (printer-friendly)

 Email This Page