I don’t think God condoned the polygamy. There are many scriptures that say that those God trusts to lead and direct his church are to be men who have ONE wife. So I think what God is saying is that those who come closest to following Him are not men who have multiple wives. They are not men who have as their first goal, happiness.

Many places in scripture, God calls us to be Holy. I don’t know of a scripture where God calls us to be happy If you have a reference, I’d be happy to read it and learn of this command by the Lord.

The problem that I am having is being an "obedient" wife to my husband. I feel as though I try to do majority of the things that my husband asks. But on the other hand, some things that he asks of me, I feel as though are unfair. And it comes from his insecurity and jealousy. I feel as though he takes Gods word of a wife being obedient to her husband as well as being submissive for granted.

He basically says, that if I tell you to do something, then you should do it, because you are my wife and I am the husband. He says that I am not asking you to do anything wrong, therefore you should do it.

An example, would be… he is in the military and is deployed and he tells me that I should not wear any heels while he is gone. I explained that I only wear heels to church and that is it and I wore them once on Christmas. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with this. But as a wife, do I just do what he says?

There are so many things that he asks that I just feel like I am being controlled and I don’t feel like that is what a marriage should be.

I just want opinions from others, because I want to do Gods will as a wife, but I also don’t want to feel like a child being told what to do.

Thank you for your comments in advance.

My wife and I have been married for 12 years and I have just now submitted to God’s meaning for this. This came through the strength of my wife to get on her knees and turn to God for her answers. As she prayed in her closet she felt led to pull me in there (we were having a pretty good spat) and she began speaking in tongues. God used my wife that night (about 3 weeks ago) to minister to me. All he wanted me to do was love! Man that sounds so easy, but to a man who has learned to close up and become hardened, that is the toughest thing in the world to do. Even if it is with my wife.

As I have started to open my heart to her and let her know how much she means to me, I have become very vulnerable. This feeling is very awkward to me, but the rewards have far out weighed the feelings of vulnerability. I wake up every day looking for ways to express my love to her. I play with her hair, I help cook, I help her in the yard, I wash dishes, clean the restroom, love to touch and hold her.

I have learned that I can not spoil my wife. I have heard at times and thought "I don’t want to spoil her", ignorance on my part. The funny part about it is it gives me freedom and energy. She has to get used to this, but I told her the difference now is that since God has put this in me, there is nothing she can do to remove it. We have since cleansed our home and I feel we are now moving in the direction god wants us to be in. A Loving Husband

Submission to our husbands as the head of the home, is not given without exception. I’m going write below, something from “The Politically Incorrect Wife” written by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby, because I think they word it well:

“You might be wondering whether there are exceptions in the area of submission. There are. God is the highest authority, and anything that goes against His Word should not be done. You are called first to submit to God’s authority and then to your husband’s. If submitting to your husband’s authority violates God’s teachings, then your choice must be to obey God, not your husband. Some of the exceptions are crystal clear: adultery, abuse, or asking you to worship other gods.”

Let me ask you, if your husband asked you to murder someone, or rob from a bank, or join a satanist group, would you do these things? I hope your answer would be “no”. And why not? You wouldn’t do them because you know they are wrong and they violate who you are and who God created you to be, plus, we’re told not to do so in God’s Word. And the same would be true if your husband asks you to participate with him in bringing adultery into your marriage bed. Whether it is through movies, or pictures, or through physically, sexually participating with another person in an adulterous situation, it is against God’s principles to do so. And when your husband asks this of you, he is violating God’s standards and asking you to participate with him in something that grieves the heart of God. This would be a time when you would not submit to your husband, but to God.

If your husband thinks that by violating your marriage vows, it is “keeping the marriage”, he is headed down the dangerous path and is trying to take you there as well. He is breaking covenant with you and with God. It could lead to a much worse destruction of your marriage. It could also leave you with a severely hurting conscience and memories that the enemy of our faith will attempt to use to haunt you from that time forward.

I can’t tell you what to do, but with everything that is within me, I wouldn’t personally do this. If your marriage is in trouble sexually, then I hope you would try to find a godly sex therapist or counselor, and NOT bring another person into your marriage whether by images or in person. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12). And that can include death of a marriage.

My prayers go out for you and your husband. I pray the Lord ministers to you, guides you, leads you to make Godly decisions, and helps you to live your life in ways that will be pleasing and glorifying to the Lord. I pray for your husband, that God speaks to his heart and that he will listen and follow God’s way into being a man of integrity in “keeping your marriage” as one that is healthy for both of you and is pleasing to the Lord and an example of a good marriage for those who know you and witness your lives together.