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How can a spouse get the other to stop lying to him or her?

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26 comments so far ↓

  • Richard says:

    (UNITED STATES) Who is in your spouse’s circle? Believe it or not, the friend who holds your spouse accountable and supports the marriage/relationship has influence on your conversation with your spouse. You can’t preach this out of them. Pray and let the Holy Spirit deal with this person, but a true friend can help that person overcome their fears. All lying is, is afraid to tell the truth. Also pray that the spouse changes behaviors by having a transformed heart.

  • ADEBAYO says:

    (NIGERIA) I WILL TELL HER TO ALWAYS TRUST ME AND SAY THE TRUTH NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. I WILL TELL HER THAT IT WILL HURT ME LESS WHEN SHE TELLS THE TRUTH THAN LATER WHEN I FIND OUT THAT SHE IS LYING TO ME. I WILL ALSO TELL HER THAT I WILL ALWAYS TELL HER THE TRUTH. GOD HAS MADE US ONE SO WE SHOULD NOT HIDE ANYTHING FROM ONE ANOTHER. WHEN WE KNOW THE TRUTH WE CAN BOTH CORRECT OUR MISTAKES.

  • Penelope says:

    (USA)  First, commit to absolute honesty yourself and avoid even convenience or "little white" lies. Second, if you have children, make it a frequent and clearly stated principle that lying will ALWAYS get you in MORE trouble than what they are lying about, and every time the children own up honestly, thank them and reinforce that choice, and let them know what would’ve happened if they lied AND did the deed, rather than just did the deed. Consider it telling the truth if they lie first but tell the truth on their own quickly afterward.

    If you catch your spouse in a lie, do not react. Say, "You lied." Simple. Say, "I want our relationship to be one that is defined by absolute trust. It’s amazing when there is at least one person you can truly, truly trust." Then, offer a period of "amnesty" where he or she can come clean with all lies still out there. Try and rebuild from there. If they keep lying, keep calmly saying the same thing and most important, be what you want him or her to be, 100% honest.

    Most lying is based on shame and fear, reduce those and truth becomes easier to tell. And of course, forgive, and genuinely.

  • Roxanne says:

    (USA)  To get to the truth you must be confident in who you are in God’s eyes to be able to hear the truth. If there’s lying, there’s confusion and pain on the lying spouses part as well as your own.

    Remember that they are being lied to also ~ by the enemy. Lies beget lies and it will be like peeling an onion to finally get to the truth. It will, and has to be, an act of you loving Christ enough to help the lying spouse.

  • Dr. Diana says:

    (USA) The answer is to use wisdom from the Lord’s Word, then pray about it.

  • Cindy Wright says:

    (USA) There’s a great answer to this question posted on the web site for Gary Smalley, which you can access by going to: http://www.smalleyonline.com/articles/question/trustspouse.html

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