Comments on: Emotionally Abandoning Spouse For the Sake of Ministry http://www.marriagemissions.com/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/ a Christian Marriage Website Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:25:16 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.3 hourly 1 By: Josilind http://www.marriagemissions.com/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-3985 Josilind Sun, 28 Jun 2009 06:15:19 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/#comment-3985 (UNITED STATES)  I am so happy to say that my husband and I have reconciled. I thank God everyday since he has been back. We now attend marriage counseling with our pastor and he has apologized about not being "there" when we were going through. He explained that he was trying to stand back and let my husband have space and then admitted that he was not fulfilling his position as a pastor should have at the time. Our kids go through counseling also because it was a family experience and as soon as things are aired out we plan on taking the boat out and spending the day off of the coast. We pray as a family now and we talk more now and the pastor instructed that my husband have no contact with the other woman for 6 months to complete his severance with her and her child. God is good and I am still praying for spouses here on the site. Being apart of the ministry is work and could put strain on a lot of things but we have to stay faithful to our first ministry that God gave us: our marriage. Then we can truly honor the ministry that He trusted us with in regards to the people. (UNITED STATES)  I am so happy to say that my husband and I have reconciled. I thank God everyday since he has been back. We now attend marriage counseling with our pastor and he has apologized about not being “there” when we were going through. He explained that he was trying to stand back and let my husband have space and then admitted that he was not fulfilling his position as a pastor should have at the time. Our kids go through counseling also because it was a family experience and as soon as things are aired out we plan on taking the boat out and spending the day off of the coast.

We pray as a family now and we talk more now and the pastor instructed that my husband have no contact with the other woman for 6 months to complete his severance with her and her child. God is good and I am still praying for spouses here on the site. Being apart of the ministry is work and could put strain on a lot of things but we have to stay faithful to our first ministry that God gave us: our marriage. Then we can truly honor the ministry that He trusted us with in regards to the people.

]]> By: Josilind http://www.marriagemissions.com/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-3451 Josilind Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:04:34 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/#comment-3451 (UNITED STATES)  Where do you turn to when people like Erica and myself are going through these things with our spouse who are ministers? It seems that there is no one to talk to because you don't want your business to get out..you have people who are trying to look for a reason to come against your husband and his ministry or why he doesn't need to be in the pulpit or that he wasn't called. And then you have the women that want your husband for themselves and if they see or hear of you having problems, they are trying to get next to him. The other woman in my case...my husband gave her all the information that she needed to move in . By telling of the hardships we were having and my shortcomings as a spouse trying to learn HOW to be a minster's wife..my husband was called after we married and it was a great transition. I felt like he was greater than me and that God was always talking to him and when I prayed I heard nothing...I felt so alone and didn't know how or what to pray for, and I couldn't understand the bible until I bought an NIV to start reading the word for myself. But who do WE turn to...who helps us(spouses or women who are married to a minister) while we watch our marriage dwindle down to adultery and a suffocating marriage? No one steps up to the plate; Not even pastors or ministers because they feel like they are overstepping their boundaries. The church where my husband is now I have been waiting and wanting the pastor to call US into the office so he can hear both sides and counsel us to restoration, lead us there, tell us where to tread and where not to tread. But I have gotten no call...nothing since my husband left me in November (physically left in December)...that hurts and says a lot, especially when I thought that this pastor loved the both of us. Now it feels like he just has a liking to my husband and not US as a couple . (UNITED STATES)  Where do you turn to when people like Erica and myself are going through these things with our spouse who are ministers? It seems that there is no one to talk to because you don’t want your business to get out..you have people who are trying to look for a reason to come against your husband and his ministry or why he doesn’t need to be in the pulpit or that he wasn’t called. And then you have the women that want your husband for themselves and if they see or hear of you having problems, they are trying to get next to him. The other woman in my case…my husband gave her all the information that she needed to move in .

By telling of the hardships we were having and my shortcomings as a spouse trying to learn HOW to be a minster’s wife..my husband was called after we married and it was a great transition. I felt like he was greater than me and that God was always talking to him and when I prayed I heard nothing…I felt so alone and didn’t know how or what to pray for, and I couldn’t understand the bible until I bought an NIV to start reading the word for myself.

But who do WE turn to…who helps us(spouses or women who are married to a minister) while we watch our marriage dwindle down to adultery and a suffocating marriage? No one steps up to the plate; Not even pastors or ministers because they feel like they are overstepping their boundaries.

The church where my husband is now I have been waiting and wanting the pastor to call US into the office so he can hear both sides and counsel us to restoration, lead us there, tell us where to tread and where not to tread. But I have gotten no call…nothing since my husband left me in November (physically left in December)…that hurts and says a lot, especially when I thought that this pastor loved the both of us. Now it feels like he just has a liking to my husband and not US as a couple .

]]> By: Erika http://www.marriagemissions.com/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-3389 Erika Fri, 17 Apr 2009 21:25:57 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/#comment-3389 (U.S)  My husband and I are both called to ministry. He is called to disciple and I am called to evangelism. Well, it seems as if no matter what I do it is never good in his sight. He refuses to do counseling, he made it clear to the pastor that he does not trust my heart is right with the Lord. He says I need a heart change but at the same time divorce is not an option which is a plus. Praise God! I am extremely involved in evangelism and prayer etc. He refuses to see me for who I really am I guess. There is always belittling and devaluing in my marriage on his side. There has been in the past times where he has said that I have a devil in me and he constantly condemns me for my life and my walk with the lord. The funny thing is I know who I am in the Lord and what I have been delivered from. Ultimately what matters is I love the Lord and am living for him and he knows my heart. I decided to move out after countless times of trying to talk with my husband and him ignoring me and watching a teaching sermon on the t.v. The Lord did show me I was wrong in leaving so I apologized to my husband in which it did bring a huge wall down at that time and now its back up again. I know he loves me and has a passion to serve the Lord but I suppose he could be neglecting me emotionally. He did say if i didn't get on board with him he was going to go with or without me. I have received the revelation on Love and since I have left and moved into the apt next to him I have tried to show him I do still love him and want this marriage to work basically by loving him as God loves me. I take him groceries,coffee etc. and have to leave it outside his door because he refuses to open it or answer any of my calls or emails. Well, he seems to think I do those things out of manipulation. I'm sooo confused. I merely did everything out obedience and love. Ministry is definitely is first in his eyes. I have been submissive and done studies when he asked only to have him say it was not good enough and I was faking any commitments or notes I took. HELP!!! (U.S)  My husband and I are both called to ministry. He is called to disciple and I am called to evangelism. Well, it seems as if no matter what I do it is never good in his sight. He refuses to do counseling, he made it clear to the pastor that he does not trust my heart is right with the Lord. He says I need a heart change but at the same time divorce is not an option which is a plus.

Praise God! I am extremely involved in evangelism and prayer etc. He refuses to see me for who I really am I guess. There is always belittling and devaluing in my marriage on his side. There has been in the past times where he has said that I have a devil in me and he constantly condemns me for my life and my walk with the lord. The funny thing is I know who I am in the Lord and what I have been delivered from.

Ultimately what matters is I love the Lord and am living for him and he knows my heart. I decided to move out after countless times of trying to talk with my husband and him ignoring me and watching a teaching sermon on the t.v. The Lord did show me I was wrong in leaving so I apologized to my husband in which it did bring a huge wall down at that time and now its back up again. I know he loves me and has a passion to serve the Lord but I suppose he could be neglecting me emotionally.

He did say if i didn’t get on board with him he was going to go with or without me. I have received the revelation on Love and since I have left and moved into the apt next to him I have tried to show him I do still love him and want this marriage to work basically by loving him as God loves me. I take him groceries,coffee etc. and have to leave it outside his door because he refuses to open it or answer any of my calls or emails.

Well, he seems to think I do those things out of manipulation. I’m sooo confused. I merely did everything out obedience and love. Ministry is definitely is first in his eyes. I have been submissive and done studies when he asked only to have him say it was not good enough and I was faking any commitments or notes I took. HELP!!!

]]> By: Josilind http://www.marriagemissions.com/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-3321 Josilind Tue, 07 Apr 2009 05:16:55 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/i-emotionally-abandoned-my-wife-for-the-sake-of-ministry/#comment-3321 (UNITED STATES)  I AM TOTALLY IN AWE OF THIS ONE...it sounds like me. My husband is a minster. We are babes in Christ and he was called to the ministry after we married. Well as he switched us from church to church and ministry to ministry to find that perfect man of God to guide, instruct and teach him, I became worried. Worried because it looked as if we were not rooted anywhere and I prayed that God would direct us somewhere. I discussed that with him... well, I tried. He went on to tell me that I didn't support his ministry... it's not true. I did whatever I possibly could to show my commitment to helping him but he went on his way in doing everything under the sun to show himself ready for the work of God. In doing that, he abandoned me at home. Whenever I would make mention that I miss him dearly and when were we going to take time for us again, he would look at me with an ugly scowl and say he is doing work for the Kingdom and he was NOT going to let me stop him from doing that. He eventually started looking at me like I was satan (he even called me that at times) and I indulged in work and home duties and doing things by myself and waiting on him to come home. He later walked up to me after work one day and said that I was holding him back and that we had nothing in common (meaning spiritually) and he found someone else that loved God, he wanted a divorce and he left. And has been gone since Dec. 08. We are not divorced yet and I thank God at least for that but I miss him dearly and pray daily that God is touching him and his heart, that He convicts him to leave the other woman and get him out of adultery and restore and heal our marriage. (UNITED STATES)  I AM TOTALLY IN AWE OF THIS ONE…it sounds like me. My husband is a minster. We are babes in Christ and he was called to the ministry after we married. Well as he switched us from church to church and ministry to ministry to find that perfect man of God to guide, instruct and teach him, I became worried. Worried because it looked as if we were not rooted anywhere and I prayed that God would direct us somewhere. I discussed that with him… well, I tried.

He went on to tell me that I didn’t support his ministry… it’s not true. I did whatever I possibly could to show my commitment to helping him but he went on his way in doing everything under the sun to show himself ready for the work of God. In doing that, he abandoned me at home.

Whenever I would make mention that I miss him dearly and when were we going to take time for us again, he would look at me with an ugly scowl and say he is doing work for the Kingdom and he was NOT going to let me stop him from doing that. He eventually started looking at me like I was satan (he even called me that at times) and I indulged in work and home duties and doing things by myself and waiting on him to come home.

He later walked up to me after work one day and said that I was holding him back and that we had nothing in common (meaning spiritually) and he found someone else that loved God, he wanted a divorce and he left. And has been gone since Dec. 08. We are not divorced yet and I thank God at least for that but I miss him dearly and pray daily that God is touching him and his heart, that He convicts him to leave the other woman and get him out of adultery and restore and heal our marriage.

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