There’s not too much else that’s as great as watching a romantic movie, or reading a romantic story or novel (at least from a woman’s point of view)— other than the real thing of course!

Sometimes though, watching romantic movies and reading romantic stories can become addictive and actually cause a lot of problems in many of the marriages in today’s world. After-all, there aren’t too many spouses who have script writers available to help them say and do just the “right” romantic thing.

For a small look into this problem and how it can affect your marriage, please click onto the web site link to read the following article:

• WHAT DOES HOLLYWOOD TEACH US ABOUT LOVE?

One of the contributing problems is that sometimes, “the grass can look greener on the other side of the street” than it really is. When you live with each other in marriage day in and day out, and when you are looking at perfection —or close to it (on the big screen or on the written page) more than is healthy, it can be problematic to your marriage.

That’s one of the things I discovered earlier in our married lives. I was getting so caught up into watching romantic movies and reading romantic stories and novels that I became addicted to the type of romance that went beyond reality. My husband didn’t have a chance of “measuring up” in everyday living, to the plastic and paper “heroes” that those stories portrayed, or sustaining the “high” of those romantic interludes day in and day out. He’s my hero, but he’s also a real person as well.

I’m not the only one who has found this to be a reality in their married lives. The following is a web site link to an article that tells of someone else’s experience in this. It brings up some points you may want to consider:

• I WAS ADDICTED TO ROMANCE

Another article that you might find helpful as well, is found posted on another web site. Please click onto the link provided below to read what you can learn from it:

• WOMEN: ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ROMANCE?

In my own marriage, I eventually wised up and traded in the “unreal” for the “real.” I found a way to talk to my husband about this problem (although sometimes we have to “revisit” the subject when it’s necessary).

I used to buy into the lie that romance and love should come naturally, no matter how long you’ve been together. But I’ve since learned that it’s more a matter of intentionality to put romance back into the busyness of everyday living that makes a marriage fun, and sustainable, and romantic.

Dr John Gottman, who is known for his foundational work and expertise in the field of marriage said the following about making your marriage a success: “The issue isn’t whether you fight, it’s how you fight and how rich your stockpile of good feelings is about each other to weather difficulties and keep your basic attitude toward your partner positive.”

So not only is it important to learn how to work through your disagreements in a respectful and marriage building way, it’s also important to look for ways to romance and help your attitudes remain positive about each other.

My husband Steve and I have committed to look for ways to infuse romance into our REAL lives together as husband and wife (much like we used to do before we married each other —only now it takes more intentionality as the years continue).

I’m married to a great guy and he can be very romantic, but he can also be “romantically challenged” at times (just like I can be). He needs a bit of help and prodding sometimes, but it’s sure worth the effort! That’s where some of the “Romantic Ideas” in this section of our web site come in handy. It’s for us as much as for anyone else!

Another thing that has helped our marriage is that I have learned about and work on my own “frailties.” Reading romance novels and watching too many romantic movies isn’t a good thing for me. I can become addicted to romance to such an extent that it isn’t healthy for our marriage, or my thought life.

Just being aware of that weakness, has been helpful as well. It’s been a great decision to stop feeding my addiction, and very freeing, as well (for both of us).

It’s like what author Sabrina Beasley says, “Romance grows when you give of yourself and enjoy the other person for who they are deep inside.” And deep inside, Steve may not be as romantic as some characters on television, and in the movies and in written stories, but that’s ok, I’m not perfect in many ways either. I love the person my husband is deep inside, and together, we can work on romance in a way that works great for our marriage.

Above all, we look to the Lord, whose very name means LOVE, to teach us how to love and romance each other in a way that works for both of our personalities and to the glory of God. It’s amazing how our Wonderful Counselor, the Holy Spirit, can show us how to do that as we look to Him!

If you find that you’re having problems in your marriage because you hold “Hollywood” expectations for your spouse, or because you are feeding a romance addiction, we pray the Lord will use what is written here to minister to your marriage in a unique and positive way.

The above article is written by Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions.

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