How do I deal with this, including the unmet expectations? Well, it varies from day-to-day and week-to-week. I realize that leading means I know where I’m going, I have a vision. So I can’t let her (hopefully temporary) stand-still drag me down. I have to keep going back to Jesus and asking for strength to run the race I am on while still praying like mad for my wife and seeking to keep my vision alive for the spiritual health and unity of our entire family. I can’t quit. I need to press on. I want to sometimes.. sometimes I don’t go because I’m just discouraged. But then someone or something encourages me, even her sometimes. It isn’t something I can do on my own, admittedly, but I don’t want to merely “endure” it. I think the Lord calls me to more than that. But again, to lead I cannot be overly concerned (to the point where I am knocked off course) about if or how or when people are following. I need to know where I’m headed and follow the Lord there.

I also pray for Jesus to be shown in me and that whatever obstacles or demonic opposition would be removed. I pray that I would not make matters worse for my wife by pressuring her, either explicitly or implicitly with manipulation and guilt and somber moods and pouting.

So, in summary, I guess I just keep running back to Jesus and prayerfully press on toward the goal of my calling while trying in the Lord to be there as an encouragement who exemplifies the love of Jesus while maintaining hope. It does get me down, though, but He keeps picking me back up.

I also get sad, especially sad, coz at times when he comes to church, he will switch on to a secular music station right in the church compound as we leave. At such times I am usually still in the ‘church mood’ and would just wish to talk about the sermon, or how good church was. Recently I joined a Bible study and there are couples that always come together. I admire them. My husband won’t come, and I don’t know how I will deal with it when it’s my turn to host. He also told me that he will start going to church actively when the baby is 3 years and needs to go know that people go to church. I am really praying for him to change, and better still, get saved.

After reading those articles though, we hope you will return to this web site to answer the question above so we can minister to each other’s needs and pray for one another. “May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” (2 Thessalonians 3:5)