There are so many people who have problems with their in-laws that it’s refreshing to think there are actually those out there (ourselves included) that love them.

One of the things I (Cindy) determined years ago was to look for ways to build relationship bridges with my in-laws so we’d grow closer rather than treating each other like we’re opponents. I figured if they raised such a wonderful man as my husband, and my husband loves them, I would make every effort to grow in my love relationship with them also.

It’s meant that at times I’ve had to over-look some minor (and even major) offenses and have given grace and space and have looked for the best rather than allow myself to be easily offended. And when I have been, I’ve worked hard to get past it, just as the Lord has over-looked my offenses. If I call myself a follower of Christ, why shouldn’t I extend the same grace to my in-laws that I have received from Him?

It hasn’t always been completely smooth sailing, but it’s been worth every effort it has taken to keep building, rather than allowing our relationship to be torn down.

Not all in-laws are open to building bridges of love, but if there is any way to do this, it’s sure worth the rewards. The Bible says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). And for my part, I determined to do whatever I could to build a healthy, loving relationship with them.

Not only is it a love gift that I have given to my husband —because he loves them, and I don’t want to put him into the position where he has to choose between me and his family, it’s a love gift that keeps giving in many other ways also.

One of them is what a person can learn about their spouse as they embrace his/her parents and his/her background. Author Renae Bottoms says this about what she learned:

“When Mark and I were married, I didn’t fully appreciate the way our separate pasts would affect our combined future. As we worked through our early adjustments, getting to know Mark’s family helped me see our relationship in more than just two dimensions—his side and mine.

“Slowly, over those first few years, our relationships with our in-laws helped us recognize there was a third dimension to our marriage—the family experiences that had shaped each of our contrasting styles.”

To read more on what Renae means by this, you can click on the link below to read the article that is posted on the web site for Marriage Partnership Magazine:

IN LOVE WITH MY IN-LAWS

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