You are right, God wants me to turn to him for deliverance because my husband is not at the place to help me right now. I am looking at my situation in a new way. Thank you for that.

The scriptures you gave me spoke so much to my spirit. I look forward to the day when all this will be behind me. Again thank you so much for the kind words you gave.

I’m so sorry that you have been so deeply hurt in your past — what a horrible injustice! No one should have to live through any type of victimization! My heart goes out to you — truly, we are kindred spirits in this way. I have known this pain as well… that is why I cry with you. And yet, as you reach out for understanding to the one person who is supposed to interact as your partner in life — your husband, you suffer further (and probably deeper) hurt because he does not understand. Again, I am so sorry. Your heart must be breaking all the more!

I’ve been praying for you the last few days, knowing God wanted me to respond to your letter, and yet not knowing what I was to write. Today as I was in a prayer gathering, God spoke to my heart to convey to you His message — not to lose hope. Your name is yours for a reason. God chose it for you so you never forget to embrace that which is yours. He loves you.

God wants you to take your eyes off of your husband as being a participant in your healing. It is tragic that he doesn’t convey God’s heart to love you as unto the Lord, but unfortunately, that is the sad choice he is making. Look to the Lord instead alone for this. Realize your husband has blinders on the eyes of his heart. Forgive him because he does not know what he is doing. Concentrate on the love and strength of God instead of the inadequacies of your husband. Live out the principles God gives in Philippians 4:8-9.

Fall into God. He can be a soft place to fall and will love you in purity and grace. There are a few Bible verses that I believe God gave me for you to read and embrace. One of them is Psalm 71:20-21 which talks of restoration, increase in honor, and comfort. Also, Proverbs 18:10 tells you that “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.” Run to him with your every hurt and care… there is safety as you declare His name. You might even look up on the internet, the names of Jesus. I did that and the names are powerful! Claim those which you need when you need them.

Psalm 91:1-2 tells you that “he who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’” I have something written near those verses that says “If you are in someone’s shadow, then they’re standing in front of you. Everything that comes your way encounters them first.” Realize this as true. Read Isaiah 49:1-2 and Psalm 73:28 as well. God is your refuge.

From this day forward, I encourage you to stand tall in Christ. You are a child of the King of Kings. Don’t allow the enemy of our faith to continue to rob you of the peace and the hope you can have in Him. I had to finally come to that place in my own heart and life. If I keep feeling ashamed of who I am and what the enemy of my faith would like me to succumb to — I am telling God that He is not my Redeemer. He is and I will live accordingly… I pray you will as well.

I finally realized that I was not going to allow myself to be further victimized and was going to reach for healing. God has helped me in this. And because I finally woke up, He is better able to help me become the person He created me to be.

We have several articles on our web site that I encourage you to read: “Living in Confidence Because of Who You Are in Christ” (in the Mental and Physical Health section). “The Conviction of the Holy Spirit vs the Condemnation of the Enemy of Our Faith” (in the Spiritual Matters section) would be good as well for you to read so you can recognize the difference. I was fooled for a long, long time! And from what I read about your thinking you “have ruined” your husband’s life “by marrying him”, I can see that you have been fooled as well. Your past does not have to be your future. Turn hurt into blessing with God’s help.

I encourage you to read these as a starting place to get you to think in healthier ways. You can read through “Related Articles” posted at the end of these articles (before the Comment Section) as well. Let God be your guide. God wants to work in and through you and help you to break out of the prison of hurt that you are drowning in right now. Take a journey to healthier thinking and living with God. The Holy Spirit, our Wonderful Counselor can guide you if you lean into His ways instead of “your own understanding.” Hopefully, eventually, your husband will participate with you in this. If not, God will hold your hand even if he won’t.

For me, it was a painful journey at first. But I declared to God that I was willing to go through it with Him so I no longer had to live in the agony of my past experiences robbing me of joy in my present and future. God faithfully helped me and I can stand tall, knowing that in Christ, my past is not who I am. I am redeemed. Despite that which hurt me, God has helped me to walk victoriously!

I pray that for you. May God bless and help you every step of the way. And may your husband and others who witness God at work within you, stand amazed in His presence! My love and prayers are with you.

I really think that if I am out of the picture then he would be happier. I feel like I have ruined his life by marrying him. I hate myself everyday for that. If I had known that my abuse would create such problem I would have chosen to be alone. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. What am suppose to do to fix this??

The greater your past struggles in life, the more you have to overcome. The more you strive to overcome and have overcome, the more glory is revealed. In other words, the greater one’s testimony, the more powerful it is and the more credibility that person has to others.

God be with you. Your thoughts and reactions toward men and being around them are completely normal because of your past. But, as you already stated, God is faithful, and I believe and hope that he will bring your mind and heart the healing it needs. God bless, LT

This has affected me so much that I can’t be alone with a man in his house. I feel like he is going to sleep with me. But am in the process of healing and God is faithful. This article has made me realize what is going on in my mind, why i act the way I do. I never told anybody about this but God is healing me through the power of the Holy Spirit.