He keeps saying that he never intended for it to happen but at some point he made a choice to sleep with her.
Maybe you can help with this. Bill: how can you “forget” about your wife & the consequences in that moment? How can you jeopardize what you say now is most important to you??? He says he got so caught up in the past that it seemed like he was living in the past again.

I also believe that he has been telling me the absolute truth in what has happened (I even confirmed some things with the ex). He has a past which involves divorce, infidelity by his dad, physical abuse & all of that. So he has had a difficult life.

Now, I’ve decided to forgive him & move on in our marriage, but I still find it difficult to understand how this could have happened – this happened in the time close to our 1 year anniversary; he had to go out of town & I could not go with due to work; we decided that he would go on his own.

I believe that the devil was involved in setting up the whole thing, timing & circumstances & unfortunately, my husband was not strong enough to pass the test. I think the devil used the fact that my husband had a past with this woman; the fact that he was without his wife for a few days & the fact that he was alone with her for a couple of minutes to great advantage for his evil work.

I love my husband very much and have no idea what he is feeling since he doesn’t talk about his feelings much, he just wants to move on. I’m struggling to believe that it’s not possible for it to happen with just any woman – if he should find himself alone with 1 for a certain time.

This is such a devastating thing to live through, & I’m only still here because God is helping me! Is there someone out there also who has lived through the effects?

I never realized just how much pain and anguish I have caused my wife over the years. Recently however my wife has started getting closer to an old male friend of hers. They meet often though I’m sure they haven’t gone too far. Honestly, it could be nothing even. But it just burns my insides thinking about this new friendship of hers. I feel cheated and betrayed! I spend sleepless nights and troubled days thinking about all kinds of possibilities. I go through my wife’s mail and am always looking for signs of infidelity.

Most readers would scoff at me. Just desserts? I never realized just how betrayal can burn you up and am truly repentant for the anguish I have caused my wife. It won’t happen again.
In that is the lesson for those who contemplate adultery: The punishment you get for cheating is the burden of a suspicious nature.
It’s killing me.
Please Help.

I love her mother and her moher has done a lot for us as a family she has always been there. I am in my late 40s and have decided that I don’t want to be here any more. I don’t know what to do and don’t want to disobey God anymore and it is so hard to resist the temptation of holding this other woman. I need her in my life but also realize it may ruin my marriage and I don’t want to risk that. I must tell you that this other woman and I have not made love or had any sex but we do kiss passiontely like fire and it does feel good when she kisses me. She is confused as I am and neither of us are ready to leave our marriage.
Has anyone been in thi situation and should I walk away from our friendship, not answer her texts anymore I am tryng to be strong?

I tried going out of my way to be a better wife, correcting things that I thought drove him into the affair in the first place. When I didn’t get positive feedback from him I became angry and aggressive as he continued with the affair – even holidaying with the mistress. He had no care over his child and was completely distant and never there for me.

He finally moved out in May and this is what hurt most. How can he just leave as if I never meant anything to him? He accuses me of listening to rumors and still denies he had an affair. It’s hurting my child and I am devastated. I am not sure I will ever forget what he made me go through. It will be a long while before I learn to trust again. I have no desire in relationships. I think they are just a waste of time and a bunch of lies.

I prayed so deeply to God and keep hearing the same answer “make it work”. HOW DO I DO THAT? How can I get past his betrayal for so long? The last 3 years have been spectacular. We have moved 3 hours from where we used to live and our marriage seemed to change. But hearing this now… I don’t know what to do. There were no major signs of infidelity while it was going on. How do I think that he has changed? He has begged for forgiveness and I feel in my heart that he means it, BUT I am not sure.

He said he was ready to commit and would let go but ended up at one of the girl’s houses. When I asked him about it, he said there was nothing that had changed and he was still letting go. How come he ended up at her house then? He has since become very distant, and seems to be mad at me for taking him to task about it. I really don’t know how to trust what he says or can someone shed light on his insatiable need to have these people in his life?

I searched myself and don’t think I can handle it. Please help.

My only regret is that I did not file for divorce first. I was trying to be way to be nice and amicable, which ended up costing me a lifelong payment of alimony to her; that is, until she dies or remarries, or I die.

Second, we all do wrong, however, God continues to love us and bless us through His Grace and Mercy. Therefore, allow yourself to do the same. Meaning, try not to be too hard on yourself.

I have ADHD (recently diagnosed) and major depression and I have a tendency to beat up on myself quite a lot. That said, share with your husband your fears and concerns. If he is like you say he is, then he too will continue to love you. Getting back or going into counseling is paramount for anyone struggling with the imbalance caused by bipolar, ADHD, or recovery.

My lovely wife of two years is very supportive and has also been through quite of lot as a child and adult. I am finally able to share with her some of my concerns and problems. Together, we help each other get through the tough times as they come about. Until God calls us home, we will probable continue to try and take matters into our own hand, but God has His way and timing in showing us what it is we need to do, even though it can take many years for us to learn. I hope this helps…

I always dreamed of having a good Christian man to raise our children right and that is what I got. I don’t receive the sexual attention needed and many other minor details. I don’t want to continue to look for a relationship that will just fulfill me physically, I want the whole package. I’ve tried to develop outside relationships to see where it could lead but it’s never pretty and I go back to my husband because he would never treat me bad.

My biggest concern is that I know I want to be with my husband because God has placed him in my life. But because I do wrong I don’t want to continue in my marriage some days because I know you reap what you sow and I figure I’ll never have someone to be faithful to me cuz I always cheated on him.

Being alone, bipolar and working on recovery are a few things that has hindered me in my marriage. Someone help me because I know where God wants me to be but I’m having a hard time standing still and waiting on God without trying to put my hand in it. PLEASE HELP …PINK

My wife, as the psychologist had figured out, is a sex addict. She used sex as a child through masturbation to ease her pain and bury her feelings, at least once a day, and many times a lot more. One cannot tell if the other is doing this in private. When they get married they can last a couple of years usually 2 for men, and 7 for women. But then the frequent masturbation must be ramped up into affairs. It is only through this ramping up that they can reach some sort of their sanity. For the spouse it is too big of a problem to deal with alone. So S-anon was formed.

It is sanity; there are books, and there are people with extremely similar stories. I believe most infidelity can be found here and soon the lid will blow off this and be like alcohol was to a.a.. If it doesn’t make sense, this is where you can make sense of it. Hope this helps. There is no cure for the pain it has caused, but there is help.

I am still married with 3 kids and we are making a go of it together.

There had been infrequent meetings and she had sex with him once. The worst thing is, he had had an affair 4 years previously, and his wife had given him a second chance. My wife knew them both (they live 500 meters away) and knew about his past infidelity. She had known him during our children’s primary schooling, but only spoke to him very infrequently over the years, sometimes with his wife. She confided that she had always thought he was handsome. She started a new job three years ago as a sales rep, during this time she visited the factory where he worked 3 or 4 times on business (at the request of her boss). There the friendship blossomed and she said she became infatuated with him and felt an attraction she had felt for nobody else during our time together. Eventually that attraction became too great and they had sex.

What I can’t understand is that during these months (and all year) we were great, no arguing, sex life was fabulous (even she agreed) and had been on 2 fabulous holidays with the family, everything seemed right. I thought she was behaving slightly differently at times, lost weight, slightly different in the bedroom, talking sexier on the phone while I was at work, going for evening strolls with our 8 year old daughter, bathing nearly every night while at home, bought me gifts on 2 occasions when I came home (she normally does not). My mother also commented that she was behaving differently.

After many hours of soul searching, talking & tears she still says that she does not know why she did it. I can only put it down to many factors, some of which are: opportunity, age (turned 40 last year), attraction, loneliness while I was away, his powers of persuasion and more……

She is totally remorseful, wants our marriage to work, can’t believe what she has done, said she was in a bubble, never thought of the consequences. She is a very popular person, has many female friends, has always been thoughtful, is very attractive, friendly, respected by all her friends, the ideal wife.

The last two months have been the worst of my life, I would not wish the feelings of betrayal and infidelity on my worst enemy. Unfortunately I know all the details of the day they had sex and I am having great difficulty dealing with it. I want our marriage to work, I love her deeply. I want to forgive her and move on… I hope it works out for us and our lovely children.

I have fallen in love with a man I met 2 years ago. This man has no idea how I feel about him. I guess I care too much about him to hurt him in any way so I will not ever let him know how I feel. But I think about him constantly. He is divorced and remarried and has 2 kids and I would never want to cause pain to them or him. I hope someday to be able to tell him how I feel. Maybe when we’re older and grayer and widowed. Not til then. But oh my God it’s hard. I love him so much- so much so that he will never know. Thanks for listening.