-By Cindy Wright

The question was posed to us at Marriage Missions:

Should two single people stay together in the same house before they get married — even if it is just a day here and a day there — and even if it’s claimed that it is due to logistical/geographical or traveling reasons? What if it’s claimed that they’re not having sexual relations together and the man is sleeping on the floor and the lady is sleeping on the bed?

MY ANSWER:

I wish we could say that it would be just fine for this couple to stay in the same house alone together before they marry because I’m sure it would be much more convenient that way. The problem isn’t just in the fact that they’re staying in the same house together when they’re single, because they could be very innocent in their motives and their actions.

Before I was a Christian, I was in that kind of situation several times and I still stayed pure — so I know it is possible.

The problem is, that they are putting themselves into a situation which gives the enemy of our faith a foothold to tempt them. The spiritual enemy of darkness is very clever and wants to rob them of being pure for their wedding night and will stop at nothing to convince them that they can give in to their temptation and they’ll be just fine. (A good example of this is Adam and Eve.)

And this is true even if one or the other of them has had sexual relations before this. When you know something to be sin, you are to stop immediately and not do it again.

The enemy of our faith wants to steal from us and God any type of spiritual victory that’s possible. For this reason the temptations are very tuned in to the person who is being tempted, so there’s more of a possibility of making the fall into sin. God’s enemies know each one of us personally and have studied what has the best chance of bringing us down for the purpose of displeasing God and hurting His heart.

The Bible says to flee temptation so this couple needs to know that if they put themselves into a place where they are alone with their temptation, they are vulnerable and aren’t obeying God’s warnings.

Also, the Bible tells us to stay away from even the “appearance of evil.” If this couple stays together like this — even if they are innocent, they will give fuel to someone who can accuse them of doing more than they are. Many people would never believe that a couple could stay together in circumstances like this and not fall into sin so the lies could take root in someone else’s mind (even if this couple is innocent). This will hurt their testimony and the testimony of Christ. And because we aren’t supposed to be a stumbling block to someone who is weaker in their faith, this could put them into that kind of situation.

If this couple asks a friend or relative to stay in the home when they are there together, then this could work — as long as the person is someone who is trust-worthy and who won’t lie about the situation at some later date. Or maybe one or the other could stay with a friend or relative in the area during these times. They’re bound to know someone who could make this possible.

The main thing is… you want to keep the relationship in the best light possible until it is time for them to marry. I’ve never heard of a person who takes the higher road by protecting how things are, and how they appear to be, to regret it later. But I’ve heard of many who give in, only to deeply regret it later.

We pray this answer will help in some way. We really admire the integrity of any couple who chooses stay pure. Doing things God’s way is commendable — not enough people consider God’s feelings in all of this. Congratulate this couple for us. We’re proud of them.

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