The servant of God lovingly, yet firmly, reasserted the position of God’s Word on remarriage to this man whose eyes were instantly opened to God’s injunction against remarriage. The man of God said I would rather pray for your healing right now. Go back to the hospital for re-examination and you will find out that the blood disease is all gone by the power of God. Get a “clearance certificate” from the medical professionals to your wife on what God can do.

I happened to be in the meeting where the above testimony was given. Praise the Lord, it happened! There was no trace of the deadly blood disease after the test. The man did as was instructed by the man of God. The wife was overwhelmed by what she saw and came back home to the husband! Praise the Name of the Lord! Our God is still doing it today if we decide not to take the world’s short cuts. Let us NOT forget that the latent player in the unfortunate game of divorce is satan. We must not look at just the physical alone but with the armour of God (readily available) let wage the war of faith against his divices. And we shall gain the victory!

I read your writeup with keen interest and thanks to God for people like you. Hold the fort for the Lord whom you honour and trust shall visit you where are. Indeed God’s priority is our holiness and life with him in Eternity and not just the temporal, transient happiness on earth.

To those who are caught up in this obviously difficult web of divorce, I admonish you to hope in God. His power will be revealed to you in no distant time if you decide today on God’s glory alone. Remember, eternity is an endless period and there is no marriage in eternity (Heaven or Hell)! May God keep you all in the place of His glory till the appearance of Christ. I will join you all in prayer to God and your husbands will return back home to you for “the Lord has need of them” (Luke 19: 29-35).

But the first and foremost dart cast by the prince of darkness was against Marriage, due to its divine position in God’s program! With all humility of Christ, respect and His compassion, I stand to attest that Mr Tony of USA’s views on the issue of divorce/remarriage is a scoop from the earthly vessels of men’s ideas and not scripturally inspired. The tone sounds experiential and narratives well aligned but it only would breed death and eternal regret if one should imbibe it.

After a very careful and unbiased look at Mr Tony’s narratives, I came to confirm what I have always known as the bane of compromise and worldliness in Christ’s universal Church -“it must be the right thing because multitudes are doing it.” The sad story of bending God’s word to suit human desires is not only limited to remarriage but it engulfs even Christian dressing. It has almost become an impossibility for pastors to preach that a Christian MUST not dress like the world, for fear of losing members.

That majority (as high as 2/3) of divorce cases are initiated by women, according to Mr Tony’s statistics, and as such the “innocent” men are free, does NOT alter a jot from God’s eternal Word severally repeated to the wise and heaven-minded “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man” (Rom 7:2-3). “Whosoever putteth away his wife (no reason is given here for the putting away), and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery” (Luke 16: 18).

In no way do I discountenance or belittle the grave challenges, sorrow and heartache that divorce carries along. As a married man, I completely understand the impasse. Because, almost all cases of remarriage hinge upon an attempt to find a solution, what should we then do? The starting point is to know that God is more interested in our welfare and wellbeing than we can ever imagine (3 John 2). We are to turn to Him in all patience, reliance and heart-searching prayers. Let us rent our hearts and not our garments (finger-pointing).

Let each retrace his/her steps. What does God expect of a husband? Let the husbands obey! How is the wife to conduct herself as a saint based on scriptural principles (and NOT women liberation organizations’ doctrines)? Let the wives obey! If we rebuild the altar as Elijah did, I confess to you that the fire of God will fall upon your marital altar in the Name of the Lord!

Remember, our God is a miracle working God, even if the other spouse has departed already, our God has more than enough power to bring Jonah out of the fish’s belly. That miracle will begin unfolding upon you today, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against you. Just turn the broken pieces to Him. Can we do it today?

You have a second chance to make your marriage even better than before now that both of you are with The Lord! Praise God… prodigals do come home.

I am in the same situation that you are. My husband left after 17 years of marriage to pursue another woman, and then moved in with her. He divorced me against my will and married her just a few months afterward. I tried everything under my power to save my marriage. When we married we were very equally yoked. We believed in God and called ourselves Christians, but I now know that we were only "Christians by name". We didn’t attend church or read the Bible, or look to the Bible for guidance, but only turned to God when someone was ill or in trouble. I can see the difference now between my Christianity then, and my true Christianity now.

Now that I know what the Lord says about divorce and re-marriage I cannot go against his teaching. Neither can I bend, twist or add anything to His Word and make it say what I want it to say to please my flesh. He makes Himself clear if only people would stop twisting and adding words and meanings that just are not there. He states marriage is for life. One partner, One Flesh Union. Only death separates One Flesh… not other marriages.

Your husband’s marriage is nothing more than legalized adultery in God’s eyes. My husband’s marriage is nothing more than legalized adultery. I trust that God will make all wrongs to be right, in His timing.

God’s priority is NOT our happiness, contrary to popular (yet deceived) belief. His first priority is our holiness. He wants us to be with Him. The happiness will be added when we follow His ways in our lives. This of course doesn’t mean we won’t suffer trials, but if He is with us, we will overcome them.

I am not judging anyone. But I will NOT compromise the Word of God to please those who have gone the way of the world when it comes to this issue. When the way of unbelievers and believers are one and the same you can bet that satan has a hand in it. In fact, as I stated in my previous post that Christians are out numbering unbelievers in this area of divorce and remarriage. Even pastors are compromising the Biblical teachings on this matter and divorcing and remarrying at the drop of a hat. When it comes to things of the flesh, the flesh wins out unless you hold tight to God and His way.

The church and pastors need to start teaching the entire gospel and stop excluding scripture regarding this matter of divorce and remarriage to appease those who have gone in that direction. There is hope and forgiveness for them. But it requires repentance just like any other sin. There has to be a change of heart not to continue in that sin and a change of direction. This sin is no different. If it was, it would be the only sin in which you can repent of and remain in at the same time.

I know a lot won’t agree with me, but that’s okay. I boldly proclaim what Jesus says about divorce and remarriage and refuse to say He doesn’t mean it, or He doesn’t know what He’s talking about. NO excuses. He doesn’t give any.

I pray that your husband finds God. I stand by my marriage and the vows I said in front of God and witnesses. I walk by faith and not by sight. If our husbands chose differently, then they will answer to Him. Leave it in God’s hands Thelma. If you believe He can do miracles then HE will, for nothing is impossible with God.

Your prince you are waiting for could very likely be your own husband that God has molded into the man of your dreams. Be blessed.

I respectfully disagree, there are exceptions. If the unbeliever leaves, we are to let them go. The believer is not bound in such circumstances. By saying the believer is not bound, that means the believer is no longer one with the unbeliever who abandons the believer. Only God can break up that bond, and God says clearly in His Word that the believer is not bound, so He said, it, I believe it; that settles it.

You can try to paint any way you want, trying to say the believer is still bound. But it doesn’t square with the Word of God. Not bound certainly does mean the covenant is no more. Scripture is full of examples of new covenants. So it goes against scripture for you to pick this one example and say ONLY the original covenant is valid. People cannot break the covenant, I agree with that. However, God, by His Word says when the covenant is broken.

How many do over marriages? Who says they are do over’s? Only you are saying this, because it appears to support your position. Why not ask those who are abandoning their spouses, instead of asking men like me who tried to preserve his marriage, without help from God or His church? As I’ve said before, the one abandoned can’t be guilty of the sin of choosing divorce.

I agree, we say the vows, and live them. What we have no control over is what the other person does. So if a man’s wife runs off, has an affair, refuses to return to the Church or him, or to come under church discipline, then I think it’s clear she is to be treated as an unbeliever, which includes God’s provision for him no longer being bound to her. He IS FREE to remarry because God in His Word, separates them.

I agree with you about folks expecting marriage to be without trials, and being disappointed. No argument from me about that. However, I disagree that one is still married when your spouse leaves and chooses divorce, chooses to sleep with another man, etc. It is clear, scripture says the believer is NOT BOUND.

Until the divorce is final, he should be willing to forgive and reconcile. However, scripture is clear that we are to let the unbeliever go, and are not bound. It would be a sin to remain bound, to actively seek reconciliation once the unbeliever has gone.

It may come as as shock to you, but most men who are divorce DIDN’T divorce their wives. Instead, two thirds of them were divorced by their wives. Women choose divorce twice as often as do men in America.

So to me, it seems your time might be better spent on addressing all those women who are choosing divorce. This is a number twice if not three times the number of men choosing divorce.

You can then mention to them all the non-sequitur stuff you wrote about adultery and fornication. It really has no bearing on the abandoned spouse, and frankly, it’s rather insulting to lecture abandoned spouses on choosing divorce. It shows a lack of sensitivity and understanding of the problem.

Frankly, it shows a lack of love. Why would you even lecture me on that when it’s patently clear that I didn’t choose to be divorced?

I agree, stop the bleeding. The first step is to stop stabbing the victims. Most divorced men are VICTIMS of divorce. Odds are 2:1 that they didn’t choose the divorce they received and their church either treated them as the party at fault, or did nothing when they tried to save their marriage. Then, they are treated as if they abandoned their children.

Finally, some well meaning souls like yourself presume to lecture the victims on their alleged sins, as if they chose the divorce they didn’t want, and are guilty of this choice.

We can disagree with what scripture says and still worship God. However, I would be remiss if I failed to point out how unloving and how out of touch your post was with the reality of divorce in the church today.

One last bit of unsolicited advice, don’t presume that just because someone disagrees with you that they are ignorant, or they haven’t done their research, their homework, or having spent time in prayer, fasting and meditation over the topic. It’s insulting and will not win converts to your way of thinking.

We had just had a beautiful baby girl (3 months old) at the time. He left and five years later he has married someone else. What am I to do? Wait for him to divorce his new wife and reconcile? For some of us, this thing is a reality and not a theory. I have asked God for a prince from his own kingdom and I believe there is a good husband for me out there.

If the unbeliever leaves you may let them leave… but it does not say you can remarry. As a matter of fact it tells you to remain single or else be reconciled. The scripture that God has called us to peace is NOT permission to remarry. And "not bound" does NOT mean God has ended the covenant.

How many do-over marriages do we get then? Will God just keep stamping His blessing on however many marriage vows of lifelong commitment we decide to say to others? NO. We choose our mates and say the vows and God holds us to them. If you don’t choose wisely, it’s not God’s fault. And even if you do, you will still have trials… because every marriage has them. Funny how we are to forgive everyone except our spouses when they wrong us — hypocritical, at the least.

Whoever divorces his wife except it be for fornication and marries another commits adultery. Whoever marries she who is divorced, commits adultery.

Fornication in this scripture is not referring to adultery. It is referring to fornication being found out during the betrothal period of the Jewish culture at the time. Read the story of Mary and Joseph again and how Joseph was going to divorce Mary (even though they were only betrothed at the time, the wedding had not yet taken place). He thought since she was with child that she had fornicated and he was going to silently put her away until God spoke to him. This was the custom at the time for the Jewish people. Adultery was punishable by death (not divorce) if the couple was already married at the time.

Here is more information regarding divorce and remarriage. http://www.marriagedivorce.com. Please take time to read this. We must stop the bleeding that divorce is causing. Be blessed.

I was traditionally married for at least 7 years. I loved my husband and will always. The Bible says wives should submit to their husbands and husbands should love their wives. As a mother as well, a very good example is a mother and child relationship where mothers love their wives and young children submit to their mothers. If such was exhibited in marriage, we would definitely have far less divorce cases.

From my experience, if a husband loves his wife, submission is at least 90 percent automatic. Yes it’s true the majority of divorces are initiated by wives… one of the reasons is that husbands somehow find it easier and practical to live in an unhappy marriage while doing nothing about it. As for women, it is almost impossible to do this. Even among believing spouses, socially, a husband can live with it even going as far as sinning by getting a 2nd wife or having extramarital relationships at the same time. This behaviour is very difficult for women.

Whilst married I knew we had problems within the first 2 years of marriage. Although my husband had difficulties accepting we had problems, I tried to persuade him we needed help. With reluctance, we sought help from relatives, brothers and sisters in Christ but it didn’t work. I decided on divorce through the traditional and civil way but still it did not work. Though we lived out our separation under the same roof, I asked my husband for physical separation where we could live in separate houses but he still refused until I gave up and left it with God.

After struggling for over 7 years, my husband one day just told me we though we had lived together, we were divorced years before, and I was free to leave him… What was I supposed to do? Submit to him? I considered it a prayer answered and obliged. 2 years down the line, I still believed he would consider reconciling, but to this he has made no attempts… I am in my early thirties and still desire to be a wife… These are the realities of Divorce and remarriage.

God’s word on marriage and divorce in Matthew and 1 Corinthians are complex in application and need those facing such challenges, as well as Christians, to seek God’s intervention to understand and apply.

I see you are missing 1/2 the picture. You appear to assume that everyone who is divorced CHOOSES to be divorced. If you assume this, you are wrong 50% of the time. In most cases, one spouse doesn’t want to be divorced, the other does.

So I agree with you, the spouse who doesn’t have biblical grounds, such as sexual infidelity of the abandoned spouse SHOULD remain unmarried. However, this doesn’t apply to the abandoned or the betrayed spouse.

There are certainly no mis-interpretations. When a spouse is abandoned, even if the abandoned spouse is a believer, he/she is no longer in a marital bond if that spouse seeks divorce. 1 Corinthians 7 tells us to let the believer go, we are no longer bound to them. Which clearly means the bond is broken. God ALLOWS the bond to be broken.

The spouse who leaves is acting as an unbeliever and is to be treated as an unbeliever based on Matthew 18. (If any church actually has the intestinal fortitude to lovingly confront an unfaithful member who abandons his/her also believing spouse. Most churches refuse to do their part in the Matthew 18 process when proof of an unfaithful spouse is presented to the pastor.)

Finally, let’s be clear, 2/3rds of all divorces in the US are filed by women. So perhaps instead of preaching to men about loving their wives and not divorcing them, we need to spend as much, if not more time on preaching to women that they are not to leave or betray their husbands.

Most divorces sought are NOT based on adultery or abuse. Yet we wrongfully keep spreading Satan’s lie that men are wrong, they are abusive, etc. Most men are not like this. The numbers I’ve seen indicate that fewer than 10% of all divorce cases involve women leaving such men. Which means 90% give or take of all abandoned or betrayed husbands are FAITHFUL and not abusive.

So Rev Richard, I respectfully request that you examine things more carefully. Chances are, any divorced American man you meet was faithful and abandoned if not also betrayed by his wife.

I don’t know how it is in Kenya. But here, men don’t seek divorce even 1/2 as often as women do. And most of those women do not have anything that remotely represents biblical grounds for divorce.

This is not intended to be anti-women. It’s not. But I cannot sit here and allow the lie to continue that men are less faithful, more likely to break up a family compared to women. It is simply not true.

I’m not saying men are BETTER than women, they are not. Morally, men and women are both sinners, and both need salvation.

We’ve been sold the lie for too long that the problems with the world are due to the mis-behavior of men, while the same behaviors of women go excused.

If it’s time for anything, it’s time for the people of God to reject such excuses, to think critically about what is being said, and to compare it to the Word of God.

In the garden, both man and woman sinned. Both man and woman were kicked out of the garden, and both man and woman needed salvation.

So it’s time to crush the stereotypes:

Divorced people chose to get a divorce. Half of them didn’t choose divorce, but had it forced upon them, while never getting relief from God when praying for the divorce to be rejected, dropped etc.

Men are divorcing their wives. Some do, but anywhere from 2/3rds to 3/4s of all divorces in the US are initiated by the wife. So any admonition for husbands to love their wives needs to be shared 2x or 3x as much with women, as it seems they are the ones choosing divorce in the majority of cases, and seldom because their husband was unfaithful or abusive. There are some unfortunate cases where the husband is abusive or unfaithful, but this is a small minority of cases.

The divorced are not allowed to remarry. Wrong, the betrayed spouse, whose attempts to reconcile the marriage were rejected by the unfaithful spouse are no longer bound to a spouse who no longer wants them, and are free to marry. Likewise, if a believer is abandoned by an unbeliever, he/she is no longer bound in marriage.

This is also why it’s critical for a church to carry out the process in Matthew 18. Such a determination should NOT be made by the hurting spouse. It is the job of the church to attempt to win the sinning member back into the body. Many see the process in Matthew 18 as punishment. It’s not. It’s designed to win the member back to the fellowship of believers. It has an additional benefit.

If the offending member doesn’t comply with the church, the injured party is granted some sort of relief. While the process is not only for divorce, I personally believe it critical in such cases where the marriage of two believers is under attack due to abuse or adultery. The church is obligated to act in such cases, with the primary goal of reconciling all parties to Christ. If the sinning party refuses, then there needs to be official determination that the sinner is in rebellion, and if that party chooses divorce, the betrayed and now abandoned spouse is no longer bound based on Matthew 18 (treating the unrepentant sinners as an unbeliever as well as 1 Corinthians 7 where the departing unbeliever is no longer bound to the abandoned believing spouse.)

Rev Richard, if your church is not doing it’s part based on Matthew 18, then instead of sitting in judgment of others (and quite wrongly for close to 1/2 of all divorced people) why not examine how your church is going to address such situations in your body of believers. Are you doing your part in accordance with Matthew 18?

Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church but I believe in such a horrible culture and world influenced by Satan, SOOO many husbands just don’t know how to do that (and don’t want to learn how, for some reason). They don’t have Godly role models. I had a dad, despite all his flaws, that ALWAYS sought to meet my mother’s needs and tried to care for her the best he could – he cherished her.

I married a man, unbeknownst to me, whose father abused his wife and family and so I ended up in an abusive marriage myself. My husband does not know how to love me in a Christ like way and I don’t know that he ever will. I might be one of those permanently separated wives. Who knows – I do know that I’d have the freedom to let Christ guide me and let Christ love me and to be able to worship Christ by not living in an abusive marriage. I’d rather live singly the rest of my life, not being abused by my spouse and be able to live my faith in freedom than to live in a marriage that stifles my ability to breathe because it’s such a distorted representation of Christ’s marriage to the church.

God bless, LT