Last week we came back from a two week trip to see our son in Kenya, Africa. We learned so many things while we were there, that we pray we’ll never forget. This week for our marriage message, we’d like to share with you a marriage thought that the Lord revealed in Africa to Cindy and one that He revealed to me. We pray this will be a blessing to you as you.

Cindy: When we were in Africa visiting our son David, we met a man whose name is Peter who has been a great friend to our son in many ways. It touched our hearts as David told us what a great guy he is, how helpful he’s been to him, and how much respect he has for him. What especially touched our hearts was when we got to meet Peter and he welcomed us with open arms and a love that wasn’t hard to sense. But then he looked at Steve and said, “Tell me brother, are you born-again?” Steve happily said, “Why yes I am, and so is Cindy.” Peter greeted us in the Lord and said, “I ask everyone I meet that question because I want everyone to know my Jesus.”

The conversation went on from there and it was wonderful. It was especially heart warming to us because our son David is a prodigal, and yet he has such an appreciation for this Godly man. This event came to mind as I was reading the verses in the Bible in Matthew chapter 5 where it says, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

Our son’s friend Peter certainly is an example of someone who’s shining the light and love of Christ to those around him —and trust me when I say that Steve and I are definitely praising our Father in heaven for this light in our son’s life. But as I was reading these verses and relating them to what we saw in Peter, I saw them in a different way than I had before.

I saw how this relates to marriage also. It talks of putting the light of Christ” on a stand, so that it can give light to everyone in the house. “How many of us allow the light of the Lord to so shine in our lives and affect our behavior in such a way that it benefits “everyone in the house?”

It’s not too difficult for this to happen when things are going smoothly. But the challenge comes to us when the “for worse” happens in our married lives. Let me explain. Remember in the wedding ceremony when we solemnly vowed to “love, honor, and cherish our spouse for better or for worse?” Do our actions and our countenance reflect the honoring love and light of Christ so that it attracts others not only in the good times, but also in the worst of times? Or are we dimming that Light, putting it under a bowl of resentment and agitation—choosing when and where we’ll let it come through to give light in our homes?

I have to admit personally that I do at times allow that to happen and I shouldn’t. There’s no escape clause in those verses that tell us when to honor the Lord by shining His light and when it’s o.k. to hide it because our spouses actions displease us. As Chuck Swindoll said, “When we glorify God, it has a powerful impact on others. They’ll learn from our example and want to glorify Him as well.”

Our basic reason for existence, after all, is to “bring maximum glory to our God.” We forget about that point too often in our homes. We can be so nice to strangers and to others outside of our homes, but when it comes to our own family, we put the light of Christ under a BASKET. The challenge for us is to “bloom where we’re planted.” We need to allow the Light and love of the Lord to come forth in our household despite any negative behavior on the part of our family so they’ll see our “good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (For further reflection on this, read 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5:8-17, and 1 Thessalonians 5:5-11.)

Steve: In Kenya I was reminded again that if we’re going to truly succeed at anything it’s going to require perseverance. For half of all Kenyans (14 Million) who are out of work, perseverance means finding enough food and water to survive another day. They have a different measuring stick entirely for determining success. The other thing I discovered was that nothing they did was based on “feelings.” It’s a foreign concept to them.

How I apply this to marriage is that if we want our marriages to succeed it will mean having an attitude of perseverance. In spite of whatever problem, hardship or heartache that comes into our relationship, WE WILL SURVIVE! And maybe it will be “just one day at a time.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to cling to Galatians 6:9 where the Apostle Paul says, “Do not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” This determination to persevere in marriage has nothing to do with “feelings.”

In his book, Secrets of the Vine, Bruce Wilkinson made this comment in talking about his wife Darlene,”My love, is constant—but my feelings for her are far different during an argument than they are during a candlelight dinner.” And then he said, “We don’t measure the depth of our relationship by feelings at any particular moment.”

Man! Can I relate! There are times my feelings for Cindy are deeper than the deepest ocean—while at other times barely an inch deep. But I’m determined that though my feelings may change—my love for her (and my commitment) won’t.

While we didn’t set out to have our trip to Kenya give us these examples and illustrations, we hope they’ll strengthen your relationships this week like they have ours. Have a great week and if you’d like to copy and pass this on to friends, family or co-workers, you have our permission.

For Marriages!
Steve and Cindy Wright

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