“The principles for loving each other in marriage are the principles for living as presented throughout the Bible” (Cindy Wright).

There’s an expression we have here in the United States that says, “It’s as plain as the nose on your face.” And that can be especially true as it pertains to how we’re to live our lives throughout our marriages.

If we truly applied the principles we say we believe which are outlined throughout the Word of God—the Bible, there wouldn’t be divorces going on between those who claim to be followers of Christ. Homes would be places of peace rather than fighting groundsand there wouldn’t be children who cry themselves to sleep at night because their mommy and daddy fight so much and are abandoning their marital vows. And most importantly of all—God would be well pleased.

The principles for loving each other in marriage are the principles for living as presented throughout the Bible. The problem is we have to apply them. We have to APPLY THEM—and LIVE THEM OUT throughout each moment of every day!

The Bible tells us, “Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in the mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does” (James 1:23-25).

How we pray God’s richest blessing upon each one of you! But blessing comes with obedience. It comes by living as God tells us to. It comes as we live our lives in obedience to God’s word NO MATTER WHAT others say or do.

Like Noah, if we’re the only one living in obedience to what God tells us to do, even though it doesn’t make sense to us, and others don’t understand, we’ll still follow what God tells us to do—without changing His instructions to us. And that is anything but easy. But there’s nothing easy about living as a child of God, as a follower of Jesus Christ.

Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.” (Luke 9:23-26)

God never said this would be easy. But God never said we should live our lives any other way. That’s what is required to call ourselves followers of Christ. It’s easy to say we’re “Christians.” It’s easy to say we believe in God and we believe in His Word—the Bible. But it’s another thing to truly live it out, to be authentic in what we say we believe, which requires that we live what we say we believe.

To be a follower of Christ means we aren’t to be distracted from living Christ, from living the every day moments God grants to us in the power and Truth as revealed in God’s Word. As Elisabeth Elliot says, “God has ordained that you participate.” We are to participate in living out that which God tells us to do. And we aren’t to manipulate it to our way of thinking.

We don’t earn our inheritance of being called children of God. That comes as a gift of God as we believe and confess Jesus Christ to be our savior. Our salvation—being saved from hell, comes by grace—God’s unmerited favor, as we confess that we haven’t lived our lives as God would have us. But to live with God’s richest blessing upon our lives requires living in obedience to the way God tells us to live according to His Word as laid out throughout the pages of the Bible.

How does this pertain to marriage? The principles for loving each other in marriage are the principles for living which are outlined for us throughout the Bible. It’s living and loving as God would have us.

When Jesus said we must deny ourselves and take up His cross and follow Him does that mean we’re to live our lives as doormats for our spouse if they won’t live out the same principles that are told to us in the Bible? It may be—but on the other-hand, maybe not.

Denying ourselves does not mean enabling our partner to live sinfully. Denying ourselves doesn’t mean living with our spouse in such a way that we allow them to treat us shamefully, which is contrary to the way God would want them to live. If we allow that, we’re helping them to live in sinful ways.

Denying ourselves in marriage means emptying ourselves of our pride and anything that stands in the way of living our lives as God would have us. It’s:

• Speaking the truth in love —motivated by loving our spouse’s ultimate good more than loving what makes us feel comfortable. And then it means saying it in a way that is honoring, realizing that God loved them enough to create them in the first place and that should be a good enough reason for us to treat them respectfully “as unto the Lord.”

• Being “slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” (James 1:19).

• Not letting “any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). We need to remember that not only is our spouse hearing what we say and how we say it but so is God and others. Is what you’re saying and how you’re saying it benefiting those who are hearing your words?

• Getting “rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Ephesians 4:31) —that’s what denying yourself involves.

• Being “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32) is also a part of denying yourself.

• Being “imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children” and living “a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2) is denying yourself.

• To “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” — a command both for the wife and the husband as outlined in the Bible in Ephesians 5:21-33, is another way of denying yourself for the cause of Christ Jesus in marriage.

We pray that you will make it a priority to read the Bible TOGETHER to learn the principles for loving each other and living your lives with God’s peace upon your household.

If you think you’re too busy to do this, realize that it will require making it a priority and pushing through the obstacles. Author/speaker Zig Ziglar (a very in-demand business consultant) tells of how he and his wife read a certain version of the Bible together.

He says, “Even though my travels take me out of town a great deal, I call her each evening at an appointed time and we discuss what the day’s Scriptures have meant to each of us.”

This is a challenge for us all! If we truly want God’s greatest blessing to be upon our marriage, we need to deny ourselves of our wants for God’s, read and apply the principles for living as outlined in the Bible, and live and love as God would have us.

Please know that our love is with you as together we work to make our marriages reflect the love of God.

God Bless!
Steve Wright and Cindy Wright