We have to fight against taking our spouses for granted. And taking them for granted is easy to do, because on the day we marry, we gain a monopoly of sorts (Gary Thomas). We can’t even imagine that God would want us to fall into the habit of not taking better care of our marriages because “He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7) and He cares for your spouse.

So, to help us take better care of our marriages we’ve listed below 20 ways to make our spouses feel special (from the fun book, Lists to Live by for Every Married Couple, compiled by Alice Gray, Steve Stephens, and John Van Diest, published by Multnomah — a book that composes of a number of lists). Don’t just read the ways, actually DO THEM!

20 Ways to Make Your Wife Feel Special -by Al Gray— married 34 years.

1. Ask her to dance when you hear your [or a special] love song.

2. Polish her shoes for special occasions [or rub her feet when she’s tired].

3. Have good conversation when you’d rather read the paper.

4. Give her a back rub with no expectations of lovemaking.

5. Buy and plant a rosebush as a surprise.

6. Keep your home repaired and in good order.

7. Make sure the car has good tires and is in good running condition.

8. Hold her hand when you lead the family in prayer.

9. Write out a list of all your important documents and where you keep them.

10. Find a way to save something from every paycheck.

11. Ask her input before making decisions.

12. Hold her tenderly when she cries, and tell her it’s okay.

13. Ask her out and plan the entire date yourself, including making the reservations.

14. Occasionally, eat quiche and dainty desserts with her at [her favorite restaurant].

15. Understand when she forgets to enter a check.

16. Shave on your day off.

17. Call if you’re going to be more than fifteen minutes late.

18. Encourage her to take time out with her friends.

19. Remember to carry a clean handkerchief when you go to a romantic movie.

20. Tell her she will always be beautiful when she worries about getting older.

20 ways to Make Your Husband Feel Special –By Alice Gray

1. Don’t interrupt or correct him when he is telling a story.

2. Compliment him in front of his children, your parents, his parents, and friends.

3. Be as concerned about your looks as you were when you were dating.

4. Let him have some time to relax when he arrives home from work.

5. Develop a genuine interest in his work and hobbies.

6. Admire him for his strength and significance.

7. If he wants to take a lunch to work, pack it for him.

8. Try to be home (and off the phone) when he gets home and up in the morning when he leaves.

9. Help your children be excited about Dad coming home.

10. Buy him socks and underwear on ordinary days instead of giving them as gifts on holidays.

11. Keep your bedroom tastefully decorated and clutter free.

12. Understand when he wants to send time enjoying sports or hobbies with his friends.

13. Keep his favorite snack on hand.

14. Stick to your budget.

15. Watch his favorite sport events with him.

16. Try to go to bed at the same time he does.

17. Trade baby-sitting with friends so you have some nights at home alone.

18. Keep lovemaking fresh and exciting.

19. Bake homemade cookies for him to take to work.

20. Ask yourself one question every day: “What’s it like being married to me?”

And one last thought:

“I hope you realize the importance of encouraging your spouse’s efforts. Even if you don’t see the romantic gesture you’ve been dreaming about, even if the timing isn’t perfect, express your appreciation warmly. There are few things that make us feel worse than being rejected after we’ve made an effort to please.” (Doug Fields, Creative Romance)

Our prayers are with you that together we can make our marriages the best they can be!
Cindy and Steve Wright

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