Do you enjoy seeing “before and after” make-over photos in a magazine showing what people look like before and then after their looks are altered in some way? Usually the change is good and can be fun to look at afterwards. But there are times when the change isn’t an improvement at all. But what about “before and after” glimpses into marriage? What about a “before and after” glimpse into your marriage? Will those who observe see an improvement or not?

Do you remember the time of your marriage proposal when the question was asked, “Will you marry me?” Hopefully it was a romantically memorable time. But did the attitude you had for each other before the wedding continue past the proposal, past the wedding, into the marriage?

This week we heard of a conversation our pastor had with a man he sat next to on an airplane. He said the man appeared to be really excited about something, so he asked him the reason for his obvious happiness. He said that he’d just asked a woman to marry him and she had said “yes.” What was especially exciting and also interesting was the way in which he proposed.

He took her out to a romantic dinner and then took her to their church. He then asked her to go into the restroom to take off her nylon stockings. She questioned him about his request, thinking it was a bit strange. But he asked her just to trust him and he would explain his request later.

She did what he asked and afterwards was led into the church sanctuary. He then took her over to an area that had a spotlight shining over it. There he provided a chair for her to sit on, brought out a basin of water (that he had prepared ahead of time), and proceeded to wash her feet.

As he was washing her feet he told her of his deep love for her and asked her to consider being his wife. He said, “I want to serve you and wash your feet for the rest of our lives together.” It didn’t take her long to express her love to him and to accept his proposal of marriage.

Isn’t that a romantic story? What a beautiful beginning for a life together and what a wonderful attitude to have. The Bible talks about mutual submission being important in marriage so this is an inspiring start for their married lives together!

But what would be even more inspirational would be if this man would continue to have this servant’s attitude for his wife years beyond the wedding — after life begins to become so daily. THAT is true servant-hood, when you’re still able to honor your spouse after getting to know them with all their faults exposed day after day. That is the servant-hood Jesus modeled for us.

Upon washing the feet of His disciples Jesus said something (as recorded in John 13) that we should always aspire to in how we treat each other. He said, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”

The meaning of the word “blessed” in the context of this scripture in the original Greek language is “Markarious” which means “possessing the favor of God.” What this means is that as we follow the example that Jesus showed us to do, by serving one another, we will “possess the favor of God.” What an honorable goal to follow—especially in our marriages!

But we can almost hear protests going out as some of you are reading this because of the thought of generously serving a spouse who has been rude, or crude, and seemingly “unlovable” at times, if not all the time. We can almost hear some of you saying, “But you don’t know my spouse and how ungodly they’ve acted towards me. How could I treat them in such a loving way when they’ve treated me so horrible?”

It wouldn’t be something we’d think of asking anyone to do in that type of situation. But the thought comes to mind of what would Jesus ask and what Jesus did. What example did He show us to do for those who are less than kind?

This is what A.W. Tozer said:

“Jesus Christ left us an example for our daily conduct and from it there can be no appeal. He felt no bitter resentment and he held no grudge against anyone! Even those who crucified Him were forgiven while they were in the act.

Not a word did He utter against them, not even against the ones who stirred them up to destroy Him. How evil they all were He knew better than any other man, but He maintained a charitable attitude toward them.”

As the Bible says in Luke 23:24, “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

We pray that as you think about your spouse that you will look to serve them with the attitude that Christ would have you — as He did with others. Keep in mind that you aren’t responsible for the actions of your spouse, but you are responsible for your own actions. It’s never too late to start doing what is right — to do that which would please the heart of God.

So, what does the “before and after” glimpse look like of your marriage? Do you have the same heart to try to please, love, and serve your spouse as you did before you married? As others observe your marriage do they see the love of Christ exhibited in how you treat your spouse?

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)

“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does.” (Ephesians 6:7)

Our prayers are with you as together we work to make our marriages the best they can be, reflections of the love of Christ!

God Bless,
Steve and Cindy Wright

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