10 comments so far ↓

• 1 elsa // Dec 3, 2007 at 5:21 am

  (SOUTH AFRICA) Hi, I am going through a divorce right now. My husband says he doesn’t love me any more and he found someone else. I do believe God can save my marriage as well, and your story gave me hope. Please pray for us. Thanx!!

• 2 Ramon // Jan 12, 2008 at 11:22 pm

  (UNITED STATES)  My wife left me nearly 3 years ago, divorced me two years ago this month. Your story has given me so much hope. Thank you. Please pray for both of us and our marriage and family.

• 3 Dina // Apr 29, 2008 at 3:38 am

  (AUSTRALIA) I have been standing for my marriage and believing that God can heal my marriage for eleven and a half years. My husband is with someone else but that doesn’t stop me believing for God to restore our marriage. I divorced him because I gave up hope three years ago but I wish I hadn’t. I have repented and have made the decision to stand again and believe what Gods’ Word says. Watch this space for a healed marriage report soon.

• 4 Cindy Wright // Apr 29, 2008 at 7:45 am

  Bless your heart Dina. I am praying WITH you and praying FOR you, that God will speak His Truth into your heart and your spirit to give you wisdom and peace, strength and guidance, as you wait upon the Lord to direct your every step both now and in the future. I am praying that God will show your husband the horrible error of his ways and that he and this woman will turn away from sinning with each other and will fully surrender their lives in repentance — living in the ways of the Lord.

  Eleven and a half years seems like an eternity when you are in the waiting room of life. But I pray that the Lord will show you His will for your life daily, and will guide you as to what you should hold on to, and what you should release. I pray that you never let go of the “hope that is within you” for all that the Lord has in store for you as you look to Him for help, hope, and guidance.

  I pray the Lord helps and guides you, and comforts and speaks to you, and works in and through you. I pray the Lord will show you how long you are to remain in this waiting room of life and when you are to step forward into living your life in answer to prayer in a renewed way with clarity of direction.

  I don’t know what God’s will is for you in this situation with your husband. I would want for your marriage to be restored. I know that this would be God’s ultimate desire also. But human beings don’t always do things in the way that God wants (as you’ve seen in your own life). And God will sometimes allow us to live in ways that are contrary to His perfect will, even that which breaks His heart and ultimately ours as well.

  I have to tell you that my first thought is that eleven and a half years seems like a long time to live in limbo like this, and to keep hoping when your husband is moving in a different direction with his life. However, I also know that we serve a God of the impossible so I would never tell you that eleven and a half years is too long to wait, or even twelve, or fifty, for that matter. God’s timetable is different than the worlds. I’ve seen the miracles that God has brought about when even one heart is yielded to His will and is praying and believing. So I will never dampen your hopes.

  I trust that if God wants you to move away from this waiting room, He will direct your steps and make it known to you that this is the way He is directing. And if you are to keep waiting and believing until you see God answer prayers in a way that you believe He will, I trust that He will make that clear to you also. Just keep praying and believing that God will show you what He wants for you to do, in his timing — not yours or anyone else’s.

  As Oswald Chambers said, “The only way to keep life uncrushed is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the living Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to dampen you.”

  “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ — to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

  We are asking God to “fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.” (Colossians 1:9b-10)

  “May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ to whom be the glory for ever and ever.” (Hebrews 13:20-21)

  “May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24)

• 5 Jeniffer // May 9, 2008 at 1:35 am

  (SOUTH AFRICA) I am a mother of two beautiful girls. My husband left a year ago on the 24 December 2006 when I was 5 months pregnant with my second born. He went to live with my cousin whom he had been seeing for months. I still believe God will restore my marriage, because I know he is a God of second chances. Please join me in praying for the Will of God.

• 6 Sue // Jun 3, 2008 at 6:59 am

  (USA) Dear Cindy, and Dina, As someone who has been "standing" for my marriage for 4 years now, and has just gone through a divorce, even still, I have come to the realization that there really is no timetable when you feel called to do something. While there have been times I’ve wanted to "move on" I know that to do so would be to turn my back on what God wants, which is the restoration of my marriage, and Dina’s.

  Perhaps our husbands will never listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit that is telling them to go home, but that does not change what we should be doing. If someone lies to us, that does not give us the right to lie back. If someone betrays us, that does not give us the right to betray them back. And if someone divorces us, and we believe that marriage is a covenant, until death parts us, then that belief does not change because of someone else’s actions.

  We don’t have to feel like we are in a "waiting room" or in "limbo." We can learn to live full lives, serving God wholeheartedly, without reservation, and learning to be the Christian woman that perhaps we weren’t during our marriages (I know that I still have much changing to do). We can continue to pray for the restoration of our marriages, and hold onto that hope, even as we get busy with the work of the Lord. I guess I don’t call that living in limbo, I call that faith.

• 7 Cindy // Jun 3, 2008 at 7:21 am

  (USA) I totally agree with you Sue. You need to seek God’s will and live in confidence that He will help you to stand strong as you are living in the center of His plan for you.

  There are times when we ARE in a “waiting room” time of our life, but as you said, we don’t have to live that way. Life does not stop in that waiting room. There is still ministry that needs to go on, and especially, we have a God to love and worship, and trust by faith.

  As long as you have breath, you are to live life in the fullness that God has planned for you. You keep your eyes upon the goal that is set before you, but you don’t neglect all that is around you to be and do in the meantime.

• 8 Jenni // Aug 14, 2008 at 7:34 pm

  (UNITED STATES)  Please pray for the restoration of my marriage and family. My husband left us to run off with a married woman he met at work……they lived together for 10 months and of course, it didn’t work out for them. She left him on our next wedding anniversary! Not only that, she, after divorcing her husband to be with mine, started to date him again and remarried her ex husband one year to the day of the their divorce!!!

  My husband continued to speak divorce and nothing, it seemed that I said or did changed his mind. I decided that I would hand the entire situation over the God. The divorce did take place but I am committed to stand for the restoration of this marriage and our family as long as it takes. Slowly, I have seen a progressive change in my husband as he has gone from claiming justice in seeking divorce (adultery is never justified) to now realizing what a terrible mistake he made. He told our 13 yr old son in a conversation just 2 days ago that he is working on becoming a better person and how sorry he is every day that he left. He told our son he wants ‘me’ to see he is becoming a better person……this is heavenly progress I tell you!!!!

  I give all the glory to God to hear this!! I pray for my husband everyday and I’ve told him that. I KNOW God wants my family to reconcile and us to be remarried legally….I say legally only because I know that in God’s eyes we are still married anyway.

• 9 Gina // Aug 21, 2008 at 7:37 am

  (UNITED STATES)  My husband and I were married for 9 years. The first 6 were great, we loved each other very much. We started to have problems, drugs and alcohol were involved. A year ago, he decided he wanted to leave the marriage, he wanted a divorce, started running around with other women while I stayed committed to our marriage. The final divorce date has been set and in two weeks it will be legally final.

  I want to keep my married name because I feel like the vows I took with this man are still valid and binding. I don’t want to divorce but I don’t have a choice in the matter. I want my marriage restored. I still love him very much and it breaks my heart that this is happening. But, after reading some of these posts I really feel like keeping my married name is the right thing to do. I will hold on to hope and God that one day, my marriage will be restored again.

  I was going to go back to my maiden name but decided not to do it as I felt doing so would somehow make the marriage less real if that makes any sense. I know he doesn’t understand why I am keeping his name but I feel like I didn’t want the divorce in the first place and I believe in the vows until death do us part.

• 10 LT // Aug 21, 2008 at 12:52 pm

  (USA)  Hi Gina, I’m sorry to hear of your struggles.

  The one thing I would suggest (if you haven’t done this already) is to read I Corinthians 7 - it has all the "rules" for marriage and divorce. It’s pretty clear. I have no idea of your situation in terms of whether or not your husband is a Christian. Obviously you are. The Bible does say if an "unbeliever" leaves, let them leave. But that gets kind of tricky in terms of what is a true believer verses unbeliever. There are a lot of "believers" out there who aren’t really trying to live for God. They are living, "believing" in God but living for themselves before God (i.e., they live for their flesh instead of dying to the flesh and letting God lead their lives).

  So…..that’s why I say it’s tricky to define that. It’s really something that only the Holy Spirit can guide you on. Only God knows who His true believers and unbelievers are (at least that’s how I look at it). Much prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit is required on your part in this matter. I do believe there is a time to let go, and it’s biblically based, but I can’t tell you when that would be or if it would ever be, in your case. That’s something that can only come from God to you, not any other person.

  I do highly recommend a book I read recently - I post this book recommendation on this website all the time because it seems to fit so many marriage dilemmas lately. It’s call "Love Must be Tough" by James Dobson (head of Focus on the Family).

  I got it at my library but you can purchase it, too. I’d highly recommend it for someone in your situation right now. I’ll keep you in my prayers. God bless.