If you consider King Saul, her father, this was a man who was vain and self centered, giving to selling out for the sake of his image and the approval of man, jealous and competitive. In other words, insecure. People with such character and development issues tend to be unable to love and affirm others because it is too much about them. Imagine then the kind of father he would have been to Michal and how that might have affected her abilty to relate to a husband in a healthy way. Notice the comment Michal directed to her husband, laced with contempt ” How the king of Israel distinguished himself, disrobing before all Israel as one of the vulgar fellows would”. Here is David, celebrating freely, while bitter Michal has no such freedom, only resentment.

I believe this is a very apt and accurate commentary on how a deficit of love can warp a person’s soul to the point where even when they are given love, it is never enough to fill the deep well of need and bitter pain and also on how the person on the other end will never be able to do enough to make it better. They are trying to fill the grand canyon with a thimble.

Yes, you are entitled to feel as so because you are wronged, but it doesn’t mean that you have to fight back and get justice. Unless your life is on the line, you have to maintain a degree of respect because if you rebel against him, it’s not short of rebelling against God. Remember, he designed it that way. My point is, free yourself from bitterness and let God work on him. Be the prudent wife. Be the better person. By this, you are setting the example of obedience and I’m sure one way or another, you will be rewarded. Your prayers will be answered. I don’t have the luxury of saying all the things I want to say, nevertheless, I hope I have enlightened you with this. God bless.

I think it’s interesting to embrace both the new and old versions (and wording) because it creates a broader meaning. Someone who doesn’t feel loved (and possibly never did) might certainly be a hateful type of person. You can certainly deduce that a hateful woman probably does feel unloved and since the spouse is the biggest source of love, if it’s not a loving environment, she probably would feel hated and possibly become hateful herself.

Thanks!!

It’s kind of like the old saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” That verse doesn’t give the wife a license to make everyone around her unhappy, but it’s a warning of what very well may happen. It goes along with the scriptures: A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand (Proverbs 27:15-16). Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife (Proverbs 21:19). Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife (Proverbs 25:24).

All of those verses explain the situation of how a miserable wife can effect the household. I’m not sure why there aren’t equal verses to explain how a quarrelsome husband can shake up the world as well, but I don’t see them. There ARE verses about a quarrelsome “man” but it doesn’t refer to a husband in particular, from what I see.

What comes to mind is the verse that says: The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down (Proverbs 14:1). I’ve felt unloved by my husband in the past, and I honestly confess that there have been times when the earth could have trembled over the way I foolishly treated the situation. I, along with my husband, contributed to tearing down the “atmosphere” of our home (which our sons witnessed), for which I’m sorry. My discontent didn’t justify my own wrong actions. God didn’t create me to act that way, no matter how my husband acted. Each one of us stands alone in our accountability. I pray that if I ever feel that in the future, I will be wiser in how I handle it.

That doesn’t mean that a wife who is unloved shouldn’t respectfully give voice to her situation to her husband, because I believe she should. But like it is with any situation, it should be done in a manner that God leads. There is a right way to approach a situation and a husband, and a wrong way. The Bible is clear about that.

When a wife is quarrelsome and contentious, it negatively involves others around her, including her husband. I have to admit that a wife who feels unloved could definitely make the earth tremble in fear of the wrath that she can cause! (A husband’s unloving ways can also be devastating for those around him, but that is a situation that the husband is accountable for –not the wife, IF she handles it right.) Married men need to beware of the consequences of their selfism! That is not how God called them to treat their marriage partner.

I don’t know if my explanation of how I interpret this verse is exactly right, but that is what I believe. Other explanations are sure welcome!

Proverbs 30:21-23 tells us that “Under three things the earth trembles” and one of them is “an unloved woman who is married.”

If anyone can explain that, I’d be most appreciative! Thanks!