Comments on: My Spouse Has An Awful Temper http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/ a Christian Marriage Website Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:11:26 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.3 hourly 1 By: Tatum http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-2/#comment-5378 Tatum Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:31:14 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-5378 (CANADA)  My husband has developed a much worse temper it seems in the last several years. I am diagnosed bipolar after a very bad spell a few years ago where my temper got worse. But now it's quite fine on meds. I don't do as much around the house so that he has to but I am also working and going to school so we can have more money, and we have 3 kids. He yells at them LOUD a lot, they will cry. It breaks my heart for my daughter, my oldest he has wrestled with and near hit for disrespect. I want to back up his authority and am trying so hard but it is just hard when he sabotages himself like that. I never say he is bad to the kids though, in fact I say he means well, to raise them right, he just doesn't know the best way and that he loves them. He has also raised a fist at me but not hit, and berates me sometimes when he is bad like I'm a loser with no friends and should keep my yap shut. Nice. I definitely feel like leaving but have no where to go. And I think he would seriously kill me, like he needs to repent; he's so scary. (CANADA)  My husband has developed a much worse temper it seems in the last several years. I am diagnosed bipolar after a very bad spell a few years ago where my temper got worse. But now it’s quite fine on meds. I don’t do as much around the house so that he has to but I am also working and going to school so we can have more money, and we have 3 kids.

He yells at them LOUD a lot, they will cry. It breaks my heart for my daughter, my oldest he has wrestled with and near hit for disrespect. I want to back up his authority and am trying so hard but it is just hard when he sabotages himself like that. I never say he is bad to the kids though, in fact I say he means well, to raise them right, he just doesn’t know the best way and that he loves them.

He has also raised a fist at me but not hit, and berates me sometimes when he is bad like I’m a loser with no friends and should keep my yap shut. Nice. I definitely feel like leaving but have no where to go. And I think he would seriously kill me, like he needs to repent; he’s so scary.

]]> By: Mary http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-4597 Mary Thu, 27 Aug 2009 17:50:37 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-4597 (INDIA)  I am changing my name. My husband has a very foul temper. I have put up with it 3 years before marriage, and married him in the hope that he will change. It's 8 years now past marriage, but it has only worsened. I have been abused physically, mentally and emotionally. I have reached a stage where I don't want to make up anymore. I don't want to make up in the fear that I am going to be hurt again. He doesn't abuse my physically anymore, but verbally and emotionally and mentally he tears me apart. All the time I am praying to God to make me die. I do not have children. He blames me for each and everything that goes bad. He blames me if he is stuck in a traffic jam; he blames me if there's a problem at the office or at home. If it rains, it doesnt rain - anything and everything, I get the blame. I feel I will be better off out of the marriage or better still dead. However much I want I cant bring myself to be normal. I am a very emotional person and sentimental. He abuses and hurts me beyond repair. (INDIA)  I am changing my name. My husband has a very foul temper. I have put up with it 3 years before marriage, and married him in the hope that he will change. It’s 8 years now past marriage, but it has only worsened. I have been abused physically, mentally and emotionally. I have reached a stage where I don’t want to make up anymore. I don’t want to make up in the fear that I am going to be hurt again.

He doesn’t abuse my physically anymore, but verbally and emotionally and mentally he tears me apart. All the time I am praying to God to make me die. I do not have children. He blames me for each and everything that goes bad. He blames me if he is stuck in a traffic jam; he blames me if there’s a problem at the office or at home. If it rains, it doesnt rain – anything and everything, I get the blame.

I feel I will be better off out of the marriage or better still dead. However much I want I cant bring myself to be normal. I am a very emotional person and sentimental. He abuses and hurts me beyond repair.

]]> By: Judy http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-4586 Judy Wed, 26 Aug 2009 01:16:35 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-4586 (USA)  Julia, I was encouraged to read your info. I am married to a man who has a bad temper. He says he is a Christian but does not display the fruits. He is physically handicapped and battles with a sense of inferiority. He does work and is a great provider. He recently bought a car that was out of our budget and we are living beyond our means. We rarely have intimate relations due to the injuries he received in several auto accidents. We will celebrate our 7th anniv. in Jan. I feel like we are just roommates. He doesn't like to discuss any of our problems. The blame is usually transferred to me. Normally, I don't speak up. I believe in being submissive and a soft answer turns away wrath. But it seems like things keep getting worse. I am really struggling and am praying for strength and God's direction. Any encouragement would be appreciated. God Bless You. (USA)  Julia, I was encouraged to read your info. I am married to a man who has a bad temper. He says he is a Christian but does not display the fruits. He is physically handicapped and battles with a sense of inferiority. He does work and is a great provider. He recently bought a car that was out of our budget and we are living beyond our means. We rarely have intimate relations due to the injuries he received in several auto accidents. We will celebrate our 7th anniv. in Jan. I feel like we are just roommates.

He doesn’t like to discuss any of our problems. The blame is usually transferred to me. Normally, I don’t speak up. I believe in being submissive and a soft answer turns away wrath. But it seems like things keep getting worse. I am really struggling and am praying for strength and God’s direction. Any encouragement would be appreciated. God Bless You.

]]> By: Ellah http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-4583 Ellah Tue, 25 Aug 2009 11:25:21 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-4583 (ZIMBABWE) Just keep praying dear. One day he will change. There is nothing impossible with God. One thing you should realise is that you will never change your husband's behavior, only God can. Just put your trust in the Lord and respect him as your husband, irregardless of his behavior. You will be amazed with the hand of the Lord. (ZIMBABWE) Just keep praying dear. One day he will change. There is nothing impossible with God. One thing you should realise is that you will never change your husband’s behavior, only God can. Just put your trust in the Lord and respect him as your husband, irregardless of his behavior. You will be amazed with the hand of the Lord.

]]> By: Silethokuhle http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-2/#comment-3953 Silethokuhle Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:25:17 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-3953 (SOUTH AFRICA)  Temper is the fruit of the flesh. Try talking to the person when he is calm. (SOUTH AFRICA)  Temper is the fruit of the flesh. Try talking to the person when he is calm.

]]> By: Phumi http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-3780 Phumi Thu, 04 Jun 2009 09:31:10 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-3780 (SOUTH AFRICA) Hi All, I am sorry for whats happening to all of you, but at least you guys have been married for quite some time. I've only been married for 4 months & I have to put up with my husband's temper. He does not want to be asked if he did anything wrong or even take responsibility for his actions. We only see each other during weekends because of working environment, but he goes out with his boys and come back after 12 & leaves me alone every weekend. If I ever ask anything he won't speak to me for days. He swears at me and he abuses me financially. He stopped showing love to me when he married me. (SOUTH AFRICA) Hi All, I am sorry for whats happening to all of you, but at least you guys have been married for quite some time. I’ve only been married for 4 months & I have to put up with my husband’s temper. He does not want to be asked if he did anything wrong or even take responsibility for his actions.

We only see each other during weekends because of working environment, but he goes out with his boys and come back after 12 & leaves me alone every weekend. If I ever ask anything he won’t speak to me for days. He swears at me and he abuses me financially. He stopped showing love to me when he married me.

]]> By: Andrew http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-3480 Andrew Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:07:12 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-3480 (ZIMBABWE)  Ladies who have to deal with angry and abusive husbands need to do the following to avoid further clashes: 1. Whenever he is angry and abusing, remain calm, because answering back is like trying to put off a fire by pouring gasoline onto it. 2. Give him time to calm down. 3. Once he is calm, speak to him confidentially and coolly, especially during bed time in that "special room". 4. Ask gently probing questions that lead you to understand his problem(s). 5. During the conversation avoid being emotional. Show him you care, but concerned about his behaviour. 6. Pray with him and give the opportunity to lead your prayers. (ZIMBABWE)  Ladies who have to deal with angry and abusive husbands need to do the following to avoid further clashes:
1. Whenever he is angry and abusing, remain calm, because answering back is like trying to put off a fire by pouring gasoline onto it.
2. Give him time to calm down.
3. Once he is calm, speak to him confidentially and coolly, especially during bed time in that "special room".
4. Ask gently probing questions that lead you to understand his problem(s).
5. During the conversation avoid being emotional. Show him you care, but concerned about his behaviour.
6. Pray with him and give the opportunity to lead your prayers.

]]> By: Angela http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-2385 Angela Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:13:38 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-2385 (USA)  Well, my heart goes out to each and every one of you ladies. It comforts me to know that I am not the only woman in the world that is dealing with an angry husband. I can relate to the woman that said he gets mad when someone disagrees with him. My husband goes nuts when someone doesn't have the same opinion as him and he is so easily offended. He's a wonderful and loving husband until he gets angry, and then he's a self centered, over-bearing, cussing, and yelling, fit throwing monster. I am trying to find some good Christian counseling for him right now and he has agreed to take it so I am just praying and trusting God to send the right person to us that can help my husband. Good luck to you all. I know it's not easy. (USA)  Well, my heart goes out to each and every one of you ladies. It comforts me to know that I am not the only woman in the world that is dealing with an angry husband. I can relate to the woman that said he gets mad when someone disagrees with him. My husband goes nuts when someone doesn’t have the same opinion as him and he is so easily offended.

He’s a wonderful and loving husband until he gets angry, and then he’s a self centered, over-bearing, cussing, and yelling, fit throwing monster. I am trying to find some good Christian counseling for him right now and he has agreed to take it so I am just praying and trusting God to send the right person to us that can help my husband. Good luck to you all. I know it’s not easy.

]]> By: Andy http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-2263 Andy Mon, 24 Nov 2008 07:08:43 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-2263 (CANADA)  I feel bad for you gals, but I've been treated like crap and I'm a guy. She says, "Whats wrong can't you take it?" I don't want to. Yah, I'm strong, but I went to jail already and I didn't touch her. I don't know what to do. Please help. (CANADA)  I feel bad for you gals, but I’ve been treated like crap and I’m a guy. She says, “Whats wrong can’t you take it?” I don’t want to. Yah, I’m strong, but I went to jail already and I didn’t touch her. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

]]> By: Lesley http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-1856 Lesley Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:39:24 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-1856 (CANADA)  My husband of four years has a temper like no other. I have always thought I could deal with it. I figured my calmness and gentle nature would off set his temper when raising our daughter. I am realizing that this is not so. Our daughter is 4 and throws massive tantrums, kicks at me, swings at me, screams, and sasses. I am so disappointed in myself for not knowing that this was going to happen. My husband works very long hours, so they don't get to see each other often and when they do, he is complaining and angry at one or both of us. Is staying together really what's best for our child, or would we be better off to be alone so I can try to repair some of this damage he has caused? I am so frustrated!!! (CANADA)  My husband of four years has a temper like no other. I have always thought I could deal with it. I figured my calmness and gentle nature would off set his temper when raising our daughter. I am realizing that this is not so. Our daughter is 4 and throws massive tantrums, kicks at me, swings at me, screams, and sasses. I am so disappointed in myself for not knowing that this was going to happen.

My husband works very long hours, so they don’t get to see each other often and when they do, he is complaining and angry at one or both of us. Is staying together really what’s best for our child, or would we be better off to be alone so I can try to repair some of this damage he has caused? I am so frustrated!!!

]]> By: LIN http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-1629 LIN Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:58:14 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-1629 (USA)  MY HUSBAND HAS A AWFUL TEMPER. I REALLY THINK HE COULD BE BIPOLAR OR SOMETHING. HE TAKES IT OUT ON ME AND SOMETIMES THE KIDS. HE NEVER OWNS UP TO HIS REACTION AND HOW IT EFFECTS OUR KIDS. I ASKED HIM TO GO GET HELP BUT HE SAYS IT'S ME, HE IS FINE. WHAT DO YOU DO? I WANT MY FAMILY BUT I AM SO TRIED OF THE YELLING. I AM TO THE POINT THAT I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM. I FEEL LIKE WE ARE NOT MARRIED, WE JUST LIVE UNDER THE SAME ROOF AND HAVE KIDS TOGETHER. I AM MARRIED BUT A SINGLE MOM. WHAT DO YOU DO???? (USA)  MY HUSBAND HAS A AWFUL TEMPER. I REALLY THINK HE COULD BE BIPOLAR OR SOMETHING. HE TAKES IT OUT ON ME AND SOMETIMES THE KIDS. HE NEVER OWNS UP TO HIS REACTION AND HOW IT EFFECTS OUR KIDS. I ASKED HIM TO GO GET HELP BUT HE SAYS IT’S ME, HE IS FINE. WHAT DO YOU DO? I WANT MY FAMILY BUT I AM SO TRIED OF THE YELLING. I AM TO THE POINT THAT I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM. I FEEL LIKE WE ARE NOT MARRIED, WE JUST LIVE UNDER THE SAME ROOF AND HAVE KIDS TOGETHER. I AM MARRIED BUT A SINGLE MOM. WHAT DO YOU DO????

]]> By: Rina http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-634 Rina Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:42:00 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-634 (USA) Hi Julia from South Africa, I am a Christian, married to a West African Christian man. He has a hot temper whenever I try to question something that concerns me about our marriage or something that has the potential to hurt us as a family. We have three kids under the age of 6. Any advice? It is so hard dealing with this but divorce is not an option for me ... It is very tempting, but I stand by my vows for better, for worse, good or bad. He tends to use verbal abuse as well, curses me out, and acts like I am not in the house. Help! (USA) Hi Julia from South Africa, I am a Christian, married to a West African Christian man. He has a hot temper whenever I try to question something that concerns me about our marriage or something that has the potential to hurt us as a family. We have three kids under the age of 6. Any advice?

It is so hard dealing with this but divorce is not an option for me … It is very tempting, but I stand by my vows for better, for worse, good or bad. He tends to use verbal abuse as well, curses me out, and acts like I am not in the house. Help!

]]> By: Julia http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-581 Julia Tue, 01 Apr 2008 19:41:11 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-581 (SOUTH AFRICA) I have been married for 31 years to a backslidden Christian man, who has a ferocious temper. It has been very hard on myself and our children (son 21 and daughter 17) but I thank God that He has kept me sane. As time goes on, I can see a change in my husband. I am learning to speak up if I find his language is too much and keep praying that he will be drawn back to his first love for the Lord. I realise that I can only change myself, not him. He must be left for God to sort out! If I can be of any encouragement to anyone out there, I would love to offer my support. (SOUTH AFRICA) I have been married for 31 years to a backslidden Christian man, who has a ferocious temper. It has been very hard on myself and our children (son 21 and daughter 17) but I thank God that He has kept me sane. As time goes on, I can see a change in my husband. I am learning to speak up if I find his language is too much and keep praying that he will be drawn back to his first love for the Lord. I realise that I can only change myself, not him. He must be left for God to sort out!

If I can be of any encouragement to anyone out there, I would love to offer my support.

]]> By: Asia http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-570 Asia Sun, 30 Mar 2008 11:16:13 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-570 (US) I'm still not too sure...just hurt (US) I’m still not too sure…just hurt

]]> By: Latonya http://www.marriagemissions.com/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/comment-page-1/#comment-434 Latonya Wed, 20 Feb 2008 19:57:37 +0000 http://www.marriagemissions.net/my-spouse-has-an-awful-temper/#comment-434 (USA) This is excellent. My husband has a temper and I did not know how to deal with it. He specifically goes off when he is disagreed with, even if he asks you for your opinion. I felt powerless, but now I see that it is okay to politely dismiss myself from the negative treatment. (USA) This is excellent. My husband has a temper and I did not know how to deal with it. He specifically goes off when he is disagreed with, even if he asks you for your opinion. I felt powerless, but now I see that it is okay to politely dismiss myself from the negative treatment.

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