Related Articles (automatically generated) [?]

• What resources have helped you improve your marriage?
• What differences have you bridged & how has this strengthened your marital team?
• Have you seen God revive a dead or dying marriage? Explain
• What answer to prayer have you experienced this past year?
• What can a couple do to grow in compatibility?

21 comments so far ↓

• 1 Cindy Wright // Dec 7, 2007 at 9:58 am

  I’m so sorry you are going through such a painful time in your marriage. There is hardly any other situation that could be worse, than to find out that your spouse that you have loved so much, would betray you in this way! My heart grieves for the pain you must be feeling. If there was a way to take this hurt away from you, I would. I’m so sorry.

  As much as I would like to help you, the best we can do for you is to encourage you to pray, pour out your heart to God (He knows very well what it is like to be betrayed) and to do all you can to reach for healing and help with this. You will feel overwhelmed and confused and so very hurt, but do all you can to try to reach out to healthy resources for the help you will need in the days, months, and years ahead.

  We have a lot of articles posted on our web site along with recommended resources and web sites that might be able to help you further. Please take advantage of all that we make available. We have found that it has helped a LOT of people who have also experienced this horrific ordeal.

  This will be a long painful journey for you. I’m so sorry that you, as the victim, have to walk it. I pray the Lord ministers to your hurts as you give them to Him. I pray He gives you strength, and wisdom, and counsel as you need it. The Holy Spirit is our Wonderful Counselor. Lean upon Him (as we’re told to do in Proverbs 3:5) and not upon your own understanding in this. And work to fight against bitterness with all of your might or it will devour who you are. (The section we have on our web site on “Bitterness and Forgiveness” could possibly help with this.) Don’t allow bitterness to take you captive. Keep fighting against allowing it to imprison you. It will rob you of future joy that you will one day experience again (even though you may not think it is possible at this point).

  If you can find a godly counselor or woman to help you through this time, that would, I’m sure, help you greatly. You have a lot of tough decisions to make in your future — both personally and in your marriage. I pray you will make them with the wisdom and healthy discernment of the Lord.

  Please know that our prayers are with you as we grieve for you and believe for you that you will somehow survive this horrible betrayal.

• 2 Getrude // Dec 7, 2007 at 2:43 am

  (ZAMBIA)  Need your help going through the betrayal by husband

• 3 LYNDA // Dec 4, 2007 at 11:55 am

  (UGANDA) This website has really really helped me and I have told many of my married friends about it. What really inspires me are the weekly messages to reflect upon. To be precise, the romantic ideas shared are very helpful especially when I think I have run out of what to keep the fire burning in my marriage, especially with a husband who is very busy. My biggest challenge now is to balance work, studies, children and husband but I’m praying about it and I know my God will not fail me. Thank you.

• 4 Gillian // Dec 3, 2007 at 6:46 am

  (SA) My husband and I have hit many rocky patches- we have learned a few home thrushes- the grass is definitely not greener on the other side. Communication is what makes or breaks a relationship and love is stronger than any thing else. It just has to be worked on- just like a vintage motor car!!! You also need the most important ingredient- GOD

• 5 Shirmy // Nov 29, 2007 at 6:32 am

  (SOUTH AFRICA) Things were a bit hectic in my marriage. That was before God intervened and made us one again.

  Never listen to other people speaking negatives about their spouses, it tends to influence you in some way that you start seeing the negatives in your spouse as well. Focus on the many positive attributes, rather than the few negatives.

• 6 Ryan // Nov 28, 2007 at 1:39 pm

  (UNITED STATES) Comparing your marriage with others is not wise. Comparing your spouse with someone else that might not do the negative things he/she does is not wise. That other someone has negative things to them as well. We are all sinners saved by grace.

  Realizing that conflict is inevitable, and handling it properly when it comes. Focus on the good, not the bad. Dying to self for your spouse. Pray, pray, pray. Trust in the Lord.

• 7 Rene // Nov 26, 2007 at 9:19 am

  (SOUTH AFRICA)  Often the lessons contained in the messages are like a "double-edged sword" cutting straight through to the "heart", yet setting the captive free.
  Other times, I have deliberately ignored the messages in my inbox, because I know that what I will read in them will be the truth, and in moments of anger towards my spouse, I don’t always want to hear what I know is true. However, it is refreshing to come back once the dust has settled and measure how well I have handled the situation.

• 8 Hellen // Nov 26, 2007 at 7:00 am

  (AFRICA) 1. Consider yourselves partners in all areas of life… wow! 2. If your spouse doesn’t want to be considerate, it doesn’t mean that you have to be less considerate and lower the standards that God wants to us all to keep in mind. My greatest challenge is that my husband works and lives 250km away. Communication is a problem I try to do a schedule of everything I do for us to do discuss when he comes! Thank you Cindy and Steve!

• 9 Hellen // Nov 26, 2007 at 6:27 am

  (ZIMBABWE) 1. Consider yourselves partners in all areas of life… wow! 2. If your spouse doesn’t want to be considerate, it doesn’t mean that you have to be less considerate and lower the standards. God wants to us all to keep in mind.

  God is working within me to consider ourselves as partners. He works in a different town about 200km from where I stay; with its own problems of communication as the telephones are always down. He sometimes comes home for the weekend and with the very little time we have, we visit family and friends, leaving me not much time with him as I have to do his laundry and other duties. we are still an empty nest, but God willing it will be full!

  BUT , through the first message, I have started writing letters. Though it takes long at least I am happy. I brief him on many things and mostly what would have happened at work or on my way home.

  Then second, I will continue raising the standards! I love him and I will keep praying that he will be more considerate.

• 10 Sheree // Nov 26, 2007 at 12:49 am

  (SOUTH AFRICA) We were still newlyweds and I was pregnant at the time, we had spent a lot of money on our wedding and were still paying off loans. My husband would always talk about buying computers, nice new car or buy anything to expensive. I would get very upset and tell him to rather save money so we can buy baby stuff. I got worse and it really started to effect me. Luckily we were still getting marriage counselling and our Pastor explained to me that men are conquerors and will always strive for the best for his family. He’s still reasonable and wont buy stuff now when he knows we don’t have the money. But I should not shoot down his dreams. Now when my hubby says, let’s buy a car like that, I’d just say, “Soon Babes, soon.”