Someone once said, “It’s not what you live through that’s important, but what you learn through.” And one thing we’ve learned A LOT through here at Marriage Missions is what others have lived through and passed on for others to learn through also.

So, for this Marriage Message we’re going to include tips that various “experts” have found to be true about marriage. We hope you’ll read and apply that which will help your marriage:

• A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. (Dave Meurer)

• Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. (Zig Ziglar)

• What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. (Leo Tolstoy)

• I asked our boys what they would do if they were married and their wife got mad and treated them mean. Without hesitation, my youngest, declared, “I’d hold her.” How could a 4 year old know the security a woman feels when a pair of strong arms, gently wrap around her? When I’m stressed or worried, my heart immediately softens if my husband simply holds me.

I asked Philip WHY he would hold her. He explained that “that’s what Dad always says in the ceremony.” Philip had witnessed several of the vow renewal services from our marriage conference weekends. As in a wedding ceremony, Sam leads couples to repeat their vows, “To have and to hold from this day forward.” Unlike many married couples, Philip took these vows literally. (Marriage - The Foundation Newsletter)

• Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love and hold onto the ones we marry. (Tom Mullen)

• Ask yourself, “What difference will this thing we’re fighting about make in ten years? In one year? In a month?” (Unknown)

• Real giving is when we give to our spouses what’s important to them, whether we understand it, like it, agree with it, or not. (Michele Weiner-Davis, Divorce Busting)

• Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. (Antoine De Saint-Exupery)

• One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not. Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly renewed. That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time. (David Mace)

• Why would a married couple that lives together every day need to date each other? It’s precisely because they live and sleep together. (Bill Doherty, Take Back Your Marriage)

• The challenge is to help couples turn “I Do” into “We Can.” (Scott Stanley, prepinc.com)

• To get divorced because love has died, is like selling your car because it’s run out of gas.
(Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com)

• Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. (Thomas Edison)

• Divorce doesn’t end a family, it reorganizes it. Or, should I say, it complicates it? (Ron Deal, Smart Stepfamilies workshop Smart Marriages Dallas Conference)

• When there are kids involved, there’s no such thing as divorce. (Carl Whitaker)

• So many people have the will to have a strong marriage but don’t have the skill. (Kathy Beirne, Portland Coalition for Marriage Education)

• We must remember that we’re not teaching skills to equip me to get what I want and you to get what you want. Instead we focus on teaching skills that will equip us to keep our relationship, our “us-ness,” and our marriage alive. (Terry Hargrave, The Essential Humility of Marriage)

• All those “and they lived happily ever after” fairy tale endings need to be changed to “and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy.” (Linda Miles, The New Marriage)

• Stephen Covey was asked after a speech about how to forgive someone who has committed adultery. He said the question made him think of the old prayer, “Oh Lord, let me forgive those who sin differently than I do.” (Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

• One of the greatest achievements in life after being hurt by your spouse is to reach out to forgive the parent of your children. (Unknown)

• The development of a good marriage is not a natural process. It is an achievement. (David and Vera Mace)

• Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, is it not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

We are praying for your marriages. Could you please pray with us that God will supply every need we have here at Marriage Missions to help every marriage He brings our way?

God Bless,
Steve and Cindy Wright