As far as what could be happening with your husband, I talked to my husband and he agreed with the following thoughts as to what his thinking process could be. You’ll need to pray to ask God if what I perceive is true. There may be a lot behind the scenes that I don’t know — that could make a difference.

I believe your husband started out thinking marriage wouldn’t be as difficult as it has become. He got caught up in the dream but eventually reality took a big bite out of his dream. He really thought that finances wouldn’t be as much of an issue as they are. Often, a man feels like a loser if he perceives that he’s not able to be a good provider. Instead of reacting in a good way, men often take this kind of thing so personally that they don’t know what to do with their toxic thoughts and so they look for ways to turn around, escape and hide from that which makes them feel defeated. Women, on the other hand, often react differently. A man will push his partner away and a woman will try to draw closer. All of this brings problems.

I BELIEVE the best thing you can do is to try to keep assuring your husband that while things are tough, you believe in him as a husband and believe things will get better. Keep praying, believing and try not to take your husband’s defeatism so personally. Hopefully, he will eventually work this thing out within his mind and actions, but it may not be overnight. Just do all you can to make finances work and don’t allow yourself to lose hope that things will get better. Look for ways to bless your husband and to find blessings behind every cloud.

When the baby is born, try to find ways to make your husband still feel important to you. He might also be struggling with what this baby will do in his standings with you. Men often go through that. Love and care for your baby, but don’t neglect your husband. Ask God for the insight how to do this. It will take intentionality.

This is grow-up time and it will take all of the strength of character possible to get through this situation. Prayerfully, this is just a tough season and with positive intentionality and prayer and answer to prayer, you WILL get through this and will be all the stronger for it. I pray God will abundantly bless your every effort and will light your path as you go along. The name “Anita” means grace and favor. I pray God will give you grace and favor and help you to live out your name. Blessings.

Because of this hardship, my husband could not pay his house bill and the Landlady issued a quit notice for us to leave the flat. Instead of my husband encouraging me, I do it and yet he is not satisfied with my effort and input… He said he wanted to travel for business and came home and everything about him changed. I am carrying his baby and am about 7 months into my pregnancy… I don’t know what to do. Please advise me… thanks so much. I am looking forward to a favourable reply and answer…. With lv Anita

She says she loves me but is no longer in love with me and wants to be with this other person. I understand I am to blame, but I also don’t want her living in sin. I really don’t want a divorce and I do love her, I was just sooo stupid in my ways; she doesn’t feel that things will change with us or I will change and wants out cause this other man says he will take care of her. What am I to do? I have been going through this heart break and trying to put it in God’s hands but I will admit it’s hard.

I am sorry for the woman he has place in this situation and I pray for her healing. The writing is on the wall that he needs a closer walk with God. Although he is proclaiming that God is calling him to be a minister, clearly his actions are not in alignment with God for such a task. But through all of the pain and heart ache, I am thankful to God because He didn’t let me die when I thought I would. I became so sick and lost such a large amount of weight. I have repented to God for not honoring Him as I should have through my marriage and God has brought me to become an intercessor of prayer. God uses people, circumstances, animals, etc. to allow testing, to stretch our faith. I know the blessing of restoration is on the way.

I remember in Daniel when the angel told him that his prayer was answered when he said it. It took 21 days for the fighting angels with the help of arche angel Michael to get the blessing to Daniel. I will trust in the word of God and wait for the manifestation.

Only if both parties have forsaken their marriage and remarried does the covenant completely break and even then that is debatable because there is no clear scripture to back that theory. The escape clause of adultery is widely misused. This refers to the engagement period of Jews. If adultery happens in that engagement period it allows for divorce but even then Jesus goes back to the creation example. Mark and Luke both leave out this exception clause.

Also, even still with the exception clause there is no mention of allowed for the divorced to remarry. Paul says a divorced women is to stay unmarried or to be reconciled to her husband. God knows there are times when we must separate such as for safety reasons and due to our lack of knowledge we may make many mistakes before we understand these principles. That’s where grace comes in. The Bible also says to forgive someone over and over and over. I don’t personally believe there is a reason for a divorce because God is expecting us to learn to forgive over and over and over.

Look at what is in parenthesis:

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? "……..

That is not the lord speaking…that is Paul, who never married …and given by his remarks embedded in between what the Lord is saying throughout that whole chapter on marriage…he does not favor marriage in the first place; because he wants to serve the lord with no wife or children to interfere with his focus. He wants to be alone. Paul acknowledges what he said shown here and what the Lord said in 1 Corinthians 10-11….my husband is trying to use this same scripture as a way to divorce me.

In 1 Corinthians "10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? "

The believing spouse is never given the OK to choose to divorce an unbelieving spouse. I think if they go, we are to let them go, and we are not bound. However, I don’t think we as believers are called to divorce anyone.

I would give the same advice to the abused or betrayed. Go to safety, but don’t choose divorce if you are a believer. If the offending spouse wants to end the marriage, there is little you can do to stop it. But don’t choose divorce.

As an aside, what good does no-fault divorce do? I hear abuse being cited as the reason we need no-fault divorce.

We don’t need NFD to deal with abuse. We need folks who will stand up and tell the community that this person is an abuser. NFD doesn’t do that. If they will not end their abusive behavior, divorce is not what you need to give them, but some time in jail until they learn to behave in a more appropriate manner.

NFD is a co-out. If a person is behaving badly, and won’t stop, prosecute them, don’t just divorce them so that someone else ends up with the abuser.

There are so many scriptures where Jesus says that a second marriage is adultery (in the case of sexual immorality). Also, in the book of Ezra, God commanded (not requested) that over 100 priests divorce their foreign wives and return to their "covenant" wives. Not to mention all of the prodigals that went off to get into adulterous marriages, who by the mercy of our Lord their eyes where opened. They ALL admitted that they knew God would never bless those marriages. (Please see Marriage and Divorce web site-Stephen Wilcox.)

They had no peace and the guilt and shame was so overwhelming that they could no longer deny that it was the Holy Spirit convicting them for being in those ungodly marriages. It wasn’t until they returned to their covenant spouses that their relationships were restored to God. There will be no adulterers in heaven!!

If they (Clint and Penny) are referencing Deuteronomy 24, that is when folks were under the law. We are now under grace thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ. Marriage is permanent and God will not be moved by our feelings.

I would like to quickly share a profound dream a prodigal had. Mr. Doe had left his wife for someone else and married that person. A couple of years later God gave him this dream. "He said that he was in church and he noticed his first wife and his son sitting on the other side of the church. Suddenly a loud and thunderous voice said (he knew it was God) "why aren’t you over there with your WIFE and son? Remember he had remarried and it surely wasn’t the other woman in that dream. Well, folks that is how God sees it – not us….Thank you for allowing me to share.