“I have to warn you about something. There can come a point in any marriage when you get fed up. You’ve lost patience with waiting to see some kind of change in your spouse. You’ve forgiven again and again and you’re weary of the struggle. You’re through with trying to make things better. You’re tired of being hurt over and over and waiting for a breakthrough that never comes.
“The years have taken their toll, and you subconsciously (or consciously) decide you are not going to try anymore. You no longer feel love for your husband (wife) the way you did, and you don’t even care about getting it back.
“This can happen in any marriage where one spouse is working to make things better and the other isn’t trying at all. Your heart can grow cold and hard like a stone, and it will seem as if the love you once had has dies. But the good news is that God has the power to completely turn things around. He is the God of miracles and restoration who makes all things new. Jesus —the ultimate source of resurrection power —can resurrect love that has died and soften your heart toward your spouse. He can bring your marriage to life again.” (Stormie Omartian, from “Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage”)
The following are “Real Life” testimonies from people who have fought to save their marriages who have experienced God’s special touch and provision in their lives, marriages and circumstances. We believe you will be encouraged and find hope for yourself through reading them.
If God has done a special work in your marriage that could encourage others, we want to hear from you. Please share your testimony with us by going to the CONTACT section and clicking on “Contact Us.”
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(ZAMBIA) I am so encouraged to read the posts on this site, a friend introduced me to this site after learning what am going through. My husband and I are on separation (not my wish) right now. He moved out of our matrimonial home about 5 months ago and is staying on his own and is also seeing another lady. In fact, she is the cause of our separation. We have 2 children together aged 7 and 3 yrs.
This is the toughest situation I’ve ever found myself in. Sometimes I fail to concentrate even on my work because I am always thinking about my problems. I have been encouraged by one of the posts saying that we should claim the Lord’s promises. God always wants us to be happy in our marriages but the devil has brought a lot of lies. He always wants to destroy whatever the God has blessed.
Please, pray for our marriage to be reconciled and that the Lord would remove the devil and his lies out of my life. I really need your prayers because sometimes I just feel like giving up.
(USA) Please pray for the marriage of Bill and Thelma, that God bring us back together, but stronger in the Lord, so that we can go out and help other marriages.
(SRI LANKA) My husband and I separated 2 1/2 months ago after 18 months of marriage- it was his decision and it has torn my world apart. I knew we had issues but never something so bad.
We have had adjustment issues and communications issues since we got married and I suppose there was a lot of immaturity on both sides. My mother in law was also a dominant force in the marriage and I could never accept that and my husband never put me or “us” first.
Funnily enough, my husband is the Catholic and I was Buddhist, but after the separation, I found great comfort in Jesus Christ and I believe that He is helping the restoration of my marriage.
My husband finally admitted to me that now that the anger and bitterness has left him, he sees how difficult the situation is but that he has no faith that we can make this marriage work and refuses to talk about our issues. It would be a shame to let this marriage go because we don’t have issues worthy of a divorce – I know some of you and other people have REAL problems, these are minor issues. I pray everyday that the Lord can touch my husband’s heart and make him see that He intended everything in life to have a meaning and purpose and that just like He will never abandon us, it is our faith and duty never to abandon what He has ordained.
I pray everyday for change and at least to see my husband. My family is pushing for me to divorce him saying that he is not worth it, but how can I walk away? I know that God has heard my prayer; it is only a matter of time – I pray.
(NIGERIA) My hubby moved to his parent’s house because of job location and since things have deteriorated in my marriage. Every little step I make to bring it back looks like it’s mile apart again. I am tired. It has led to physical abuse and I don’t know the way forward. Help me.
(UNITED STATES) I need some advice. I don’t know what to do. I’m now divorced, as of 12/29/08. Well, let’s see here. I married in May 07′ and was only married for 6 months before my husband started cheating on me. At the time, I was 6 1/2 months pregnant with our son when my husband abandoned me at a rodeo in Arizona in Oct 07′. I was devastated. I had no money, no place to stay for the night and my husband was no where to be found. He called me the next day and told me it was over and he was done with me. He never came back home. He just left me for another woman with 3 children.
Our house was in shambles because of a flood we had 3 months prior. There I was 6 1/2 months pregnant, the house was a mess w/no floors or carpeting. I was alone to care for our home, the horses, pets, vehicles and finances. Since the day he left me I’ve been praying almost everyday that God will restore my marriage or that somehow He will bring my husband back to our family. On 12/30/07, I gave birth to our son and his name is Cash. Also, since the day our son was born my ex-husband has not given me any financial or emotional support for our son.
A lot of people think I’m “crazy” to be praying for God to heal and restore our marriage/family. It has been 20 and 1/2 months and my ex-husband has not come back. He doesn’t call me to check on his son. He’s even gone as low to say that our son is not his. He wanted a paternity test done and naturally I refused because our son was conceived in wedlock and there is no question that our son is his. I think he was just trying to get out of paying child support to us.
Maybe I am crazy to think that he will change or come back to us. I don’t know what to do. Should I just keeping praying or do you think maybe it’s really over? I need some advice. Thanks a bunch. ~Arizona, USA~
(USA) Dear Jlong, Bless your heart! You have such a sweet, forgiving attitude in how you are trying to love your ex-husband despite the ways he has hurt you and your son. It’s so sad that he doesn’t realize the treasure he is trying to leave behind.
As for your plea for advice, I just want to say that I/we really can’t tell you what to do. That is not our place. But your ex has definitely broken covenant with you and biblically you DO have the right to let him go. But just because you have the “right” to do something, it doesn’t mean that you HAVE to or should do it. That is something you need to determine after a lot of prayer.
As far as being “crazy” to think that he would come back or to “be praying to God to heal and restore” your marriage, there is nothing crazy in believing God for a miracle. I know of miracles that have happened, and it’s not out of the realm of possibility for God to do this. But you need to realize it is unlikely because from what you have written it seems like his heart is hardened. You can’t MAKE a person do what they are determined NOT to do. And God won’t make him do it either. He can say no to doing what he should be doing, just like you have that right.
I would personally seek God’s heart on this. I would not listen to the nay-sayers, if I thought they could be wrong. If God has planted hope in your heart, then go with God. As you seek God’s heart, HE will tell you if what you are believing will happen and when (if ever) it is time to stop seeking reconciliation. If your husband does not do a complete turn-around in the way he is treating you and your son, then I would not take him back. I would also start to build a life without him. I would keep praying for him, but I would not reconcile unless I was sure that I was sure, that I was sure, that God had worked a miracle.
The thoughts that come to me as I pray, is for you to commit your ex-husband to God and turn your eyes upon God as your husband now. Leave the results of what happens to your husband with God and put your energies with Him and with building a good life for you and your son without your ex. Don’t try to keep him in your life at this point. Release him. If he will not claim your son and is not supportive, and is so mean-spirited, he would be a bad influence on your son anyway and would hurt your heart as well by his selfish behavior.
Don’t waste your energies trying to bring a person back who is determined to do what he shouldn’t. Pray but do not play with that notion. … at least that is my humble opinion, but again, pray about any human advice you would get. God CAN work miracles… prayer, as you live for God will reveal if He will. May God richly bless your efforts to following and living within God’s will. Our prayers are with you.
(SOUTH AFRICA) I really need prayers. Here is my story. I got married last year on the 26th April 2008. My husband was working outside of South Africa (in Kenya) before we got married. Then he stopped traveling thereafter. Towards the end of May 2008 I conceived our daughter, which I gave birth to her on the 20th of January 2009. After giving birth I went to stay with my mom in Eastern Cape to help me with the baby and also to heal the operation.
When I was at home I received a call from a stranger and the number was privatized. She told me my husband is having an affair and she’s aware I’m on maternity leave in Eastern Cape.
I asked my husband and he denied. Because I trusted him so much I believed him (foolishly).
My husband visited us end March and he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore. He met a girl who is 11 years younger than I am, and he wants a divorce so he can marry her.
That really broke my heart, I was torn apart. I tried to talk to him, and I asked people from church to help us. He refused and he said he’s made his decision and no one will tell him what to do.
I came back to Johannesburg beginning April. He moved out from our flat to stay with her.
That strange caller revealed herself and told me she’s the cousin to my husband’s girl friend. She told me that he has paid the lobola and they have started with the wedding preparations.
During all this time I didn’t stop praying to God hoping that He’ll do miracle to reconcile our marriage. Then through browsing the net I came across the Marriage Mission website. I was very uplifted by the testimonies about the marriages that have been saved through prayer. Also the advices about the marriages. I just thought I wish I had saw it earlier on.
Yesterday I was served with divorce papers. I told myself I’m not going to sign to them.
Also something happen yesterday. His girlfriend has sent herself an email saying it’s from me and showed it to my husband. I didn’t receive the email; I don’t know what it says. I don’t even know how she sent an email using my account.
My husband was very upset and he sent me a message saying he doesn’t want to see me ever again, and he’s completely done with me.
I haven’t stopped praying to God hoping for a miracle.
(USA) Sivu, please know that we stand with you in love and prayer. I can’t imagine how desperate this young woman must be to send herself an email from you to give to your husband… but I can imagine that kind of desperation, because she lives on a slippery slope in this relationship. Whenever you push another down to stand in their rightful place, you can never be secure that the same thing won’t happen to you. And it may.
I pray you are able to keep your head up, your eyes upon Jesus and live your life in integrity and the assurance that God will help you as you as you lean upon Him in Truth.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
I pray blessings upon you and your precious child and conviction and unrest upon your husband and this woman who is invading your marriage with your husband’s permission. May they never know joy until they turn away from each other and from their sin!
I pray God will help you to take your eyes off of their lives and onto living each day in renewed hope. I pray God will redeem that which causes you so much pain and will strengthen you to raise your child as a person of integrity and joy in the Lord — with a continual smile for all to witness.
(COLOMBIA) HI, Thanks for this site. On July 7th, my husband sent me AN e-mail and he wants to divorce. I’m devastated and my heart is broken. I am living in Colombia right now because I am in immigration process and I’m waiting here for my green card and I thought I would be back with my husband soon.
The long distance is hard. My husband is in USA. Please help me to pray. I cannot find the right words for the Lord, and this separation doesn’t help. But I have faith for God doesn’t have the borders. Please stand with me and pray.
(SWAZILAND) My Heart goes out to all you women of God who are going through so much pain. We who are still not married are beginning to lose hope in marriage even though I believe that somehow marriages work. My parents are in separation right now and I know how painful it is. But I still believe God can restore their marriage, the question will He?
Ida, I’m praying for you. Cindy and Steve thank you for such great work. It is yielding results!