I can truly say that I do not love him as a wife should and I pray for God to give me that love for him but I have been struggling with it because in my eyes he has been unfaithful to me. By that I mean pornography on television and internet.

We have 4 children who have seen him in his viewing of this. When they were small they didn’t know what was really going on and now that they are adults except the youngest (9) they now know how disrespectful he has been to me.

We have not been intimate for 9 years. I have no desire to be with him. We still share the same bed but sleep totally separate. Depending on when he goes to bed I will go before or after him so we don’t have to speak to one another. I wanted to do this 25th Wedding Ceremony to get God’s Spiritual covering on our marriage and children. Please pray for us.

Please somebody pray for us both, as well our children.

Through the mid 90’s I had struggled with depression, which began shortly after our first child (of 3) was born. It was difficult for everyone. Through the grace of God I have overcome, yet my husband cannot get past the years of my depression and how they affected him and our children. But even our children have been much happier and encouraged in the face of my recovery, and when my husband left to live somewhere else, it made no sense to any of us.

I have found this and another site to encourage me in my efforts as a stander, and am reading the Psalms every day. Our oldest son (almost 21 now) prays every night with me and goes to mass with me as often as we can. We pray to discern and to follow God’s will, and He has laid upon my heart that I must honor and uphold our marriage covenant.

My husband has been involved in Christian music ministry with several friends, and he has all but stopped playing for these ministries. I started attending the services where he played with him, and told him how proud I was of what he was doing for the Lord. Please pray for us and for our restoration. Praise God!

But in the last year my wife has lost weight and read a self help book by comedian Steve Harvey entitled “How to think like a man and act like a lady”. Since this I noticed a change in her. She has returned to her old self and away from God. Meanwhile all of my mistakes have been made known to me. And I caught her having inappropriate contact with other men. She has many secrets and is drawn out to the bars on the weekends.

I realize my mistakes and repent for them on a daily basis. I am seeking God every minute of every day. The outlook seems bleak but still I believe in Gods power. God has drawn me closer to him. We have two children one 19 months and the other 9 years ( i have raised him since a toddler) We have it all except unity. I am choosing not to follow her to the bars. She says I have been controlling. I have been very wrong.

I am making a stand for my family for as long as I am married. She told me she doesn’t want me and that she no longer is in love with me. But I will not believe it for I know God has a plan. I need your prayers. I believe God can make a way when there is no way. My pastor and other Godly men tell me there is hope and to continue to work on it. Please pray for conviction, healing, forgiveness, and strength.

I could honestly write a book but I want to summarize it all by saying that both parties have to be willing, not for each other but for the glory of God!! I say it that way because as humans we are generally selfish and both parties in every marriage wants it their way… aah but when do it God’s way, well, his word alone can solve any problem if every man and woman knew their place in a marriage.

EXAMPLE… God’s word tells us that women are the weaker vessel, 1 Peter 3:7, and Ephesians 5:22-24 assures us women as to our place in the marriage. It took many years of prayer and fasting, trusting God and putting our faith in him for my marriage to get to the point where it is now. God’s people, his word is true, and it will be effective in your marriage when it is faithfully applied. Keep trusting and believing and above all be obedient to his word. For those of you who are having an especially hard time because the other spouse is not “walking with the Lord” please apply 1 Peter 3.

We have two small children together. This can’t be good for them. She already moved out of our house and things are only getting worse by her absence. I am holding on to God’s word, hoping and praying this situation gets better.

Well, eventually it all caught up with me and I found out that I was pregnant. I was determined not to get married just because I was pregnant and my parents demanded that I do the right thing but I knew it was the right thing to do considering that I did love my husband. Despite my disobedience I did (do) love the Lord with all my heart and was sorry for displeasing him. I wanted to make things right and I believe my husband did too as he was raised in the church but strayed from the Lord as well.

Our relationship had always been a good one even though our relationship with the Lord had always been strained. I believe that having God fearing parents who are strong in prayer has been a big help because they are always praying for us. Though when our daughter was born something came over me to stop being so complacent and get into the word for her sake as well as our own, to teach her the how to walk with God — the way our parents taught us because it is the right way.

Even though my husband agreed upon this, his actions didn’t parallel with the agreement. He continued do the same things and I became angry because I felt that it was time for us to put all that behind us and grow up. We went to church occasionally though we strived to go more often but I believe that the devil was (is) trying to hold us back.

I believe that my husband and I have a great calling on our life but we’re running from it. Even as I strive to run towards it I know that it is for the two of us to fulfill as husband and wife. But he will not let go of the marijuana and it causes anger and resentment inside of me every time he gets high. When I ask him to stop smoking he asks me why and where it says in the Bible that it’s wrong to smoke marijuana and I usually never have an answer for him except that it cause friction in our relationship when he gets high and just passes out and I don’t want our kids to grow up seeing him like that and thinking it’s ok to do it. I also tell him that the Bible says that we should obey the laws of the land and the our body is a temple, that we should keep it holy but he doesn’t think that those are straight enough answers and he laughs them off.

Well with him doing all that, it has caused a separation between us because he goes off with his friends pretty much everyday to get high and it is disheartening to see him go off with his friends when I would like for him to want to do things with the family. I hate feeling like he wants to be with them more than he does with us and so I just start feeling sorry for myself and get angry at him to the point where I don’t want to speak to him or do anything for him when he is high.

As we’re expecting our second child soon, my emotions are a heightened and he is gone all day mostly to work and then to his friend’s place. I can’t talk to him because I’m so angry. We’re having a boy and try to emphasize to him that our son will be looking up to him when he’s older and I don’t want him showing our son such bad examples.

I feel like I’m being punished and that I had it coming, although now I’m trying to heed the word of God and show my kids a good example. How can I get my family on the track that god has built for us, how can I speak to my husband with love and get him to understand that I’m not trying to control him but be good examples to our children? And how can I stop being angry at him? Please help me out before my marriage crumbles.

Then it just got worse. I was looking for affection elsewhere. I stopped it before it went too far. However, it was still a stray. Then I got pregnant again. We had a son. My husband was still heartbroken from what I did. He had an affair. When I found out I left. Soon after my son was killed in a freak accident.

We got back together and my husband was in an accident and had to have his leg amputated. Soon after that his dad dies. We just moved on with life and never took care of us. Now several years later… he doesn’t know if he wants to be married anymore.

We started to work things out about a month ago. As far as I knew we were doing great. I felt like a newlywed again. But last week he tells me he doesn’t feel the same. He is a Christian man, and feels that even God can’t fix this. Too much has happened and he has too many hard feelings toward me. I asked him if we could pray together and read the Bible together. He doesn’t think there are any scriptures that speak of repairing a marriage with as much heartache as ours. He feels no one could possibly understand how we feel to even counsel us. Our problems are far too big for anyone to help or understand. If anyone has any scriptures in mind, or encouraging words please forward to me. Thanks God bless

Jesus is ALWAYS such a wonderful example. JESUS, was innocent, spotless, blameless, pure, and the PUREST example of Love. He was attacked on all sides; before Judas betrayed Him, angry crowds sought after Him to kill Him. He took all of our sins, all of the diseases and sickness, all of the evil and wickedness, and he was nailed to that tree so that you and I and EVERYONE can start all over again. No matter where you’ve been, no matter what you’ve done, and no matter who you are…YOU CAN START ALL OVER AGAIN. We have all fallen short of the glory, we are only made righteous thru Jesus and His holy & unfathomable sacrifice. For those of you who are struggling to forgive yourself, JUST DO IT because God has already done so. For those of you who are struggling to forgive others, JUST DO IT because you were unworthy, but God’s grace & mercy covered you! Yes, it is hard. Yes, it is painful. BUT it truly is what Jesus would do. And besides Child of God, our Father doesn’t want us dragging around a coffin filled with the sins of yesteryear, the shackles of guilt & shame, the luggage of loneliness and isolation…JESUS died so we ALL could be set free!

We cannot control what others do. PERIOD. POINT BLANK. And that’s frustrating and painful. But we just can’t. We all operate under our own free will, but the higher calling is to submit our will unto His will because God ALREADY has it figured out. God knows what’s going to happen. We don’t. He already has the plans for our life and they are to prosper us and not to harm us (Jeremiah 11:29)! People are going to do what they’re going to do, and all we can do is to stay in God’s will!

Be encouraged. God is going to turn it around. There is power in the blood. Be strong, be bold, because the Lord thy God is with thee! God never leaves us, He has carved us into the palms of His hand (Isaiah 49: 15-16)! If you would just call upon the Rock, He will give you peace that passeth all understanding! Know that you serve a God that loves you, cares about you, and knows your heart thru and thru! God is going to take care of it! He’s got your back! Everything is going to be alright because God’s hand is upon your life and He will keep you, protect you, and shelter you! Psalm 91!! Below is a poem I wrote, under the direction of the Holy Spirit (I pray that whosoever reads it, God will reveal Himself to you and speak into your life concerning your situation):

Goodbye Friend.
Goodbye Lend & Bend.
Goodbye Reassurance at the End of the Tunnel.
Goodbye Security Bubble.
Goodbye Comfort in the midst of my Chaos.
Goodbye Compass when I find myself Lost.
Goodbye Calming Whisper, so clear in my Ear.
Goodbye to Our Trail of Tears.
Goodbye rhyme and goodbye measure.
Goodbye sweet friend, that I dearly treasured.

Once I considered you my leading hand in the darkness of night,
But when dawn broke, you were gone and I was left with Plight.
I thought that our friendship would bloom out of its cocoon,
But before that time came you found your very own Moon.
I became no more than a distant star,
For you my disappearance didn’t even leave a scar.
I put on a smile and slowly walked away,
Hoping that your heart would turn and you would yell my name.
But no sound came from anywhere behind me,
So I sadly took all of Us and planted a tree.
The Us Tree grew roots, there it stood and stayed,
It allowed me to leave it all behind and freely run away.

I was running so fast, I slammed into a door.
It made me remember that we were friends no more.
My stone heart began to crack and my icy tears began to fall,
SHOOT, I thought I had planted EVERYTHING into that tree a long time ago.
The door swung open and a gentleman appeared,
He said, "Child everything will be fine, do not fear."
He pulled me up and dried my eyes,
He took away my watch and told me to forget about Time.
We stayed up late, we talked all night.
He agreed that life would always be full of fights.
It was time to go to bed and He showed me my room,
He reassured me with, "Although as My Child, you are never doomed."
I grabbed His hand and asked Him for His name,
With a smile He said, "Father, Yahweh, or Jesus. I doesn’t matter they’re all the Same."
I began to cry, "Father, I thought you weren’t home."
He replied, "Next time, just knock. I will surely come."
The tears kept on flowing, "Father I’ve wronged you in so many ways!
How could you help me and invite me to stay?"
He laughed and squeezed my hand, "Darling, I’ve been waiting for your arrival. Homecomings are the best, they always make me smile!"
We smiled and danced!
We celebrated and laughed!
I was home, home at last!

In His house, I am not a distant star.
In His house, I am not a faded scar.
In His house, He always keeps a room ready for me.
And when I come home, He is always as happy as can be.
In His house, He has tasks and talents with my name on it.
His gifts are more beautiful, than any man made sonnet.
In His house, I never struggle to make ends meet.
In His house, I always get good sleep.
In His house, my entire being is always nourished.
In His house, He allows me to flourish.
I praised Him and loved Him and called Him by Name.
He said my sins are forgiven, be free and without shame.
He owned me, He loved me, He called me His own.
With God, my Father, I know I always have a Home.

Amen To God be the Glory!

I PRAY FOR ALL READING THIS THAT GOD WILL STRENGTHEN YOU. AND REMEMBER GOD IS WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES AND IN ALL SITUATIONS.

He began hitting me within the first few months of our marriage and of course it made me an insecure and eventually bitter woman. Other women were always better than me and it made him so angry that he got duped. Your messages got me through years of the mess.

Last year when it was as dangerous as it could get, I got myself out of there and went far away. I finally have been doing some real healing and since he stepped out on me, he said he found out he loved his wife. We have been trying to mend this marriage long distance and it is so hard. I have been standing in faith, but I am getting tired.

I want to say thank you, because some of the messages literally helped me to see that it was okay to get myself to safety and still be biblical. My church was so against counseling and so against my leaving and they were aware of how dangerous my household was. I felt that there was no help and that to be biblical as a wife I was suppose to just endure until my prayers were answered by God. I re-read some of them now and they do re-enforce my values and it is clear what is considered by God to be a godly marriage. Thanks.

My wife and I have been married for 18 years. There have been difficult bumps in the road along the way, but until recently we thought that we had made it to a point in our relationship where things couldn’t get any better – that’s when God smacked us in the face with a hard lesson.

Over this past Thanksgiving weekend, I found out that my wife was in the midst of a 3-4 week fling with her boss via text message, email, and over the phone. There was never a physical aspect beyond occasional hugging and kissing, and I know that it would not have advanced to that point. Although they knew that the relationship was wrong, they did draw a line in the sand and establish ground rules to prevent the relationship from moving into even more dangerous territory.

After I exposed the inappropriate relationship, they both agreed to end it, and we all know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is a thing of the past. Regardless, the betrayal of trust hurt me deeply, yet it can’t be compared to the pain and guilt that my wife feels for putting our relationship in potential jeopardy.

We are rapidly moving past this by taking the Word to heart; as it says in 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.”

What was the lesson God wanted to teach us out of this ordeal? After much thoughtful prayer and discussion, we learned that He was teaching us not to be complacent in our relationship – that no matter how good you think things are, they can always get better; there’s always room for improvement. He was teaching us not to ignore the "little things" that add up to so much more in a relationship. Finally, He was teaching us that although we didn’t realize it, we were allowing the other things in our life (work, kids, other activities) to cause us to lose focus on our relationship.

I didn’t find this site until yesterday, after we had already reached these conclusions ourselves; however, the discussion above about the "creeping separateness" is exactly what we were allowing to enter into our relationship. I am grateful that someone has been able to put this concept into words. And as painful as this experience has been, we are very grateful that the Lord chose to teach us this lesson now – before we allowed it to reach the point of no return.

Have faith! Believe! Trust that no matter how difficult your tribulations may seem, He will never place a burden on you greater than you can handle! He has a plan for all of us!

I have now even read a lot on the site that I know it will help me to keep going in God’s direction and stay close to his side. God Bless you.

Then after that, he came across some old emails I had with another guy 4 yrs ago. I talked a lot about my husband and our situation, and this and guy and I talked sexually with one another and met up at clubs from time to time. My husband of course flipped out and wanted my head on a platter. Things have not been the same.

My husband is a minister in our church and he does not work. He doesn’t pull in any money and it has been a stresser on our marriage for years. I am the bread winner and it makes it real hard sometimes to respect and love because he won’t get a job. I think he uses the Bible as a crutch and I am really at a crossroads on whether to cut my losses or stick it out till things get better.

But I can’t get the thoughts out of my head about how I truly feel about him. I love him cause he’s great with the kids and helps me out every chance he gets but I want him to do more. I want to feel protected and taken care of. I feel like I take care of myself. Anything I want, I have to figure out how to get. I can never ask him.

If I make him leave my life will get much harder with 2 kids and a career. I need him to help me which I know he would, regardless, but it will complicate things even more. I need help and guidance on what to do.

A few days later I hear from a friend that this person says she went to the doctor and had a miscarriage. So my wife and I started to move forward again. Well. it’s been a month since all that and I got another phone call saying that she’s pregnant, and this call came from her husband.

I need prayer for my wife and I to deal with the situation at hand. We need the strength to move forward. I don’t know what to believe. The husband has been threatening to do evil things to me, and I can’t live in fear. I found this site and I love it. It has opened my eyes up. Everyone keep my wife and I in prayer.

As far as “how to cope with this and stay in the love of GOD”, that will be no easy task. It will take determination and perseverance to look away from that which you cannot change, to that which you can.

Jesus said in the Bible, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

I can only imagine how “weary and burdened” you must feel over all that is happening. I pray that you will fall into the promises — which are the arms of Jesus, and learn from His “gentle and humble” heart, because that is where you will find the rest that you need. Yes, you also need to work through this situation, which will take strength and wisdom, but first go to Jesus and get the rest and help you need and crave.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

What you are going through is a time when your emotions and thoughts may play tricks on you. You can easily allow your anger because of these unfair and horrible circumstances to run you to a place where you do what you shouldn’t. Just be careful. “Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith…” (1 Peter 5:7-9a).

You may wonder why God would allow your husband to do such a thing (and may even blame Him for not stopping him), but I hope you know that God didn’t make your husband do such a deceptive thing. He obviously gave into the same type of dishonest reasoning, that he allowed himself to fall into previously (which landed him in prison in the first place). God didn’t put these thoughts into his head. But he also didn’t take away his freedom to make choices — even though the choices he made went against God’s ways.

Just as God allowed Adam and Eve to make wrong choices that led to awful consequences for many innocent people, and just as God allows you and me and everyone else to make choices that we shouldn’t, He allows your husband making choices as well. We live in a fallen world and innocent people get hurt as a result. If God grabbed our freedom to make choices (whether good or wrong ones) from us, we’d all be walking around like programmed robots. Heaven is where we will will be free from the consequences of people making wrong choices. But until then, we live here on planet Earth and we will suffer through it.

But the one thing we have going for us is that we have a God who “cares” for us. He will help us through the trials we go through as we lean upon Him and follow His ways. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isaiah 26:3).

I pray the Lord will speak peace and hope into you as you lean upon Him, and will help you to do what is right, despite the fact that your husband is doing what is wrong. I pray He will direct you to people that will comfort and help you rather than hurt you.

“May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance” (2 Thessalonians 3:5).
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit!” (Romans 15:13)

I’m going to write below something that was recently given to me that I pray will help you in some way.

You say: “It’s impossible.” GOD says: All things are possible. (Luke 18:27)
You say: “I’m too tired.” GOD says: I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: “No one loves me.” GOD says: I love you. (John 3:16, Romans 5:8, Ephesians 2:4-5)
You say: “I can’t go on.” GOD says: My grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9; Psalm 91:15)
You say: “I can’t figure things out.” GOD says: I will direct your steps. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: “I can’t do it.” GOD says: You can do all things. (Philippians 4:13)
You say: “I’m not able.” GOD says: I am able. (2 Corinthians 9:8)
You say: “It’s not worth it.” GOD says: It will be worth it. (Romans 8:28; Galatians 6:9)
You say: “I can’t forgive myself.” GOD says: I forgive you. (1 John 1:9; Romans 8:1)
You say: “I can’t manage.” GOD says: I will supply all your needs. (Philippians 4:19)
You say: “I’m afraid.” GOD says I have not given you a spirit of fear. (2 Timothy 1:7)
You say: “I’m worried and frustrated.” GOD says: Cast all your cares on ME. (1 Peter 5:7)
You say: “I’m not smart.” GOD says: I give you wisdom. (1 Corinthians 1:30; James 1:5)
You say: “I feel all alone.” GOD says: I will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

I pray that when you feel especially weak and lonely and confused, that you will remember that God “is a very present help in a time of need.” He may not rescue you from every trial, but He will strengthen you, as you lean upon Him to make it through the ordeals you are suffering.

You ask in your letter, how “to cope and stay in the love of GOD.” Beyond what I have written above, I encourage you to write out the action phrases laid out in the scripture passages found in Romans 13:9-14 and Ephesians 4:22-32. (If you don’t have a Bible immediately in front of you there are links to be able to read these verses provided for you as you click onto them.) Pray, write out the action phrases and then live them out with the strength and insight the Lord will give you. It won’t be easy. You have been severely hurt by your husband. Giving into the call for action towards revenge and trying to reason and rationalize everything in our own strength seems to be a natural tendency that most human beings would grab onto — especially given your circumstances.

But I encourage you to TRUST and GO WITH GOD, and He will “make your paths straight (as we’re told in Proverbs 3:5-6). If you do this, I believe you will be released from a prison that is trying to entrap your heart and actions and separate you from God. Put your focus on the Lord, and not on the injustice of what you are suffering through, trusting that God will guide you, and you will survive this in a victorious way.

I pray you will draw strength from Him whenever you are weak. “Even in the darkness light dawns for the upright” (Psalm 112:4a). May God help you and keep you!